Protecting the Devil
by demonesszen
Summary: Due to certain happenings, Erk winds up the escort of a pinkhaired devil. Follow them from before Lyn's Story to the end of Eliwood's. ErkxSerra
1. Prologue: Erk's Worst Nightmare

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Arianna: Wow. I'm actually attempting a romance story.

Latisha: This is gonna be scary.

Arianna: Erk/Serra! The quiet, withdrawn mage and the loud, outgoing cleric.

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**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Fire Emblem.

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-: ERK'S POV :-

I woke up and looked out the window. The sun was already high up in the sky which meant, as usual, I was late. Darn. And today I was supposed to meet the girl I might end up escorting to Ostia. 'Might' because there were quite a few other guys that wanted the job.

I quickly got out of bed and rushed around getting dressed. As I ran downstairs and out the door, only stopping to grab my bag from Lady Louise, I reviewed in my head what Lord Pent had said about her. She was supposed to be a frail Lycian priestess, who needed a guard to get to Ostia safely. 'Supposed' to be, as I would soon find out.

I ran down the street and finally made it to the docks, where me and the other young men were going to greet her. I was about three hours late so I shouldn't have even bothered but there was a chance she was choosy and still hadn't picked yet, and I needed the money. I can't bum off of Lord Pent for the rest of my life, after all. But when I looked up at the ships, I saw they were leaving. I stopped in shock. Was I too late? Had the escort already been chosen? I was thinking about what to tell Lord Pent when I heard the most horrible screeching noise I had ever heard in my life.

"Heeeey! Excuse me? Can I talk to you for a sec?"

I turned around and saw it was a pretty girl with pink hair holding a healing staff running toward me. Sweet Elimine, was that noise I heard her _voice_? I thought someone was scraping two steel swords together. Or a seagull was dying or something.

"Heeey!" She stopped right in front of me. I thought she was a little too close, so I took a step back, but then she took a step forward.

"Can you HEAR me?"

I wished I couldn't.

"Are you a mage?"

I decided there was no harm in talking to her for a few moments. At least it would stall some time before I had to go home and face a disappointed Lord Pent.

"My name is Erk, and yes, I am an anima mage." I said in my clear, if a little soft, voice. "I'm a student of Count Reglay, the Magic General." I was a bit proud of it. How many mages can say they studied under the Magic General himself?

"Then you CAN help me!" She exclaimed in her ear-shattering voice. On further contemplation I realized her voice wasn't really so bad, it was just that she talked too loud. If she lowered her voice to a normal decibel range it would have a chance at sounding, dare I say it, _pretty_. "I need an escort to Ostia! See, I was supposed to meet candidates today, but one of them never showed up. And for some strange reason, the ones that did ran back on their ships and left as soon as I said 'Hi!"! Isn't that sooo rude? So, anyways, can you help me pleeeeease?"

My head was beginning to hurt so bad that I couldn't think straight. I decided that facing Lord Pent was better than listening to this psychopath any longer.

"Sorry. I already have a person I'm supposed to escort. But I seem to be a little too late." I scanned the crowd around the docks one last time, hoping to spot the priestess. Then I heard a noise that sounded like….laughter. I turned back to the strange girl and saw that she was giggling.

"Heeheehee! You're supposed to escort ME, you silly! You must be the one that never showed up! Aren't you lucky that you came late? You're now the only candidate! Soooo, you get to be my escort! You must be soooooo happy!"

She continued giggling as I stared in horror. It was all snapping into place in my battered mind. _She_ was the so-called priestess!

"Bu-but I'm supposed to escort a _frail_, beautiful priestess!" Actually, no one said beautiful. I just kind of assumed she would be.

"Teehee! It's ME! I'm actually a cleric, but priestess sounds sooo much more flattering, no? Well, come along now! We better get moving. I know the way!"

She turned around and started walking as I continued to be frozen to the spot. Escort _that _irritating thing? Spend Elimine knows how many hours talking to someone with _that_ kind of voice? Suddenly, the terror of it all hit me.

-: Outer POV :-

That day, a loud, male scream was heard echoing from the docks and around the town.

"**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S NOT FAAAAAIR! WHY MEEEE?**"

"Teehee! I can tell you're excited, Erky!" was the answering screech.

'Twas not a good day in the life of Erk.

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Arianna: Ummm..so how was that? First try at a semi-serious story with an actual plot line. Hope it didn't stink too bad and you won't mind me continuing it because I actually had fun writing/typing that.

Erk: I have such a cursed life.

Serra: He loves me and you knoooow it!

Arianna: Not yet he doesn't.But he will. -evil grin-

Latisha: Read & Review if you have the time.

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	2. Chapter One: The Long Road to Ostia

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**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Fire Emblem. I think you knew that already.

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-: ERK'S POV :-

We had been walking for four hours now and the cleric girl had not shut her mouth for any of it. I was slowly becoming immune to the screeching, though. Either that, or I was going deaf.

"ERKY! LOOK AT THAT!"

She had been exclaiming things like that for awhile now. You'd think the girl had never been outside before.

"That's a squirrel, Serra." I answered calmly, although my patience was waning.

"I KNOW!" She screamed back, even though I was right beside her. "But it's so cuuuuute!"

She continued to croon at the squirrel, even though I could see nothing remarkable about it. In fact, I rather pitied the poor creature. It was probably innocently sitting on a branch, eating a nut, and then a different kind of nut started screaming at it.

"And _look _at that bushy tail! How ADORABLE!"

That's it. Flux patience. If she doesn't shut up about the stupid squirrel soon I'm going to snap.

"We really should get going, Lady Serra, if you want to make it to Ostia soon." I was hoping that the "Lady" would make her listen to me. Well, she listened to me. But I didn't get the reaction I expected.

"It's MISTRESS SERRA to you! I am your master! You shall obey me and treat me with respect or I shall leave you and go find someone else more worthy of this job!" She finished triumphantly.

Apparently she thought this was a threat. I needed the money, but I was starting to wonder if it was worth it. "Of course, _Mistress _Serra. So sorry for my lack of manners." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm, but of course, she didn't catch it.

"That's more like it." She said smugly, "Lets keep going! Sheesh, Erk, if you keep distracting me like this we'll _never _make it to Ostia!" And with that she brushed right past me and stalked on along the path. I followed grumbling.

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-: SERRA'S POV :-

He thought I didn't notice. People always think I don't notice things, but I do. I may not catch on to things as quickly as some people, and I might get a little over-enthusiastic about some things, but I'm not dumb. And I knew he was being sarcastic.

When I first said hi to the guys at the dock, I didn't mean for my voice to screech so much. It just happens sometimes. And then all those seagulls came flocking around me for some reason and by the time they settled down the guys had ran back on the ships and the ships had taken sail.

I came close to crying, for I realized I was now stranded without protection in Etruria, but I held the tears in and sat down to ponder what to do. After a few hours, I got up to go ask around and see if anyone could help me, when I saw him. A very handsome, purple-haired, young man. He was staring at the now very distant ships with a shocked expression. I saw immediately that he was a mage of some sort and came up with the brilliant (as usual) idea that he could help me out. So I jumped up and ran over to him. I think you know the rest.

So, now here I am. Traveling with this mage who quite obviously dislikes me. Somehow, I'm starting to think my brilliant idea wasn't so brilliant.

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-: ERK'S POV :-

We had been walking for a few more hours and, miraculously, she had not said a word! I couldn't see her face, so I walked a bit faster. When I could see it, she looked like she was, miracles of miracles, thinking! I wondered what brought about this sudden change, but then I stopped wondering and decided to just appreciate the good fortune that Elimine had bestowed upon me. When it grew dark, I decided to finally break the blessed silence.

"Mistress Serra, it's getting dark." I hoped that she would get my point that we needed to stop and set up camp. I hoped for too much.

"Ooooh, I hate the dark! So many scary things live in the dark!" She whined.

I tried again. "Mistress Serra, we should probably set up camp before it's fully dark so we can see what we're doing." I thought I said this quite clearly, but apparently I didn't because she then responded:

"Oooooh! Look at the pretty stars!" She exclaimed.

First the squirrel, now the stars. Yep. This girl was definitely an inside girl. I decided to just stop and start setting up my tent and see if she followed. But before I could….

"ERKY! Don't you think we should start setting up camp? It's getting dark you idiot! We might have problems setting up things if we can't see what we're doing! You should have thought of that by now!" she told me reproachfully.

I wanted to strangle her.

But I restrained myself and went to set up camp instead. I started to set up my tent, but then I decided to save myself some trouble and started setting up Serra's first instead.

Serra smirked when she saw this and decided to comment. "I'm glad you're starting to learn, Erky."

Just one good Thunder attack……

But I kept on setting up camp. Once the tents were up I went to find some firewood. I was stopped by a resounding screech and some bats flying out of the trees.

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING, ERKY? DON'T ABANDON ME!" Serra screamed at me. Then she burst into tears. I was quite flustered and strangely felt a little bad. Like I was guilty. Which was strange because, as far as I knew, gathering firewood wasn't a crime.

"I'm just getting some firewood!" I yelled back, completely confused, "I'll be back!" I waited to see if she was going to start bawling again.

"Oh!" She abruptly stopped crying and started smiling. "Okay, but hurry back! I might get attacked while you're gone, and then how would you ever go on?" She then walked, humming to herself, into her tent.

I was a little fazed, but I turned back around and started off again. It was a tad difficult to find some dry wood because it had rained recently, but I managed to find a small pile and headed back to camp. I laid the wood down and used a Fire spell to light it.

"WOW! That's AMAZING!" Serra exclaimed behind me. Apparently she had been coming out of her tent when she saw me do my spell. "You really _are _a mage!" she said.

I found this statement completely nonsensical.

"Of _course_ I'm really a mage!" I retorted, "Why would I have bothered lying about something like that?"

"Because you might've just wanted the chance to spend time with a lovely creature like me!" she said, giggling obnoxiously. I just sighed and headed into my tent.

"If you need food, I have some in my bag. Help yourself to any of it. I'm feeling rather tired, so I'm going to go ahead and lay down."

"Okay, Erk. But just remember; no sneaking into my tent during the night!" She said and giggled again. I just rolled my eyes and went in.

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The next morning I awoke to a horrible scream. I snapped awake and realized it was coming from Serra's tent! I quickly got up and ran over to see what was going on. I pushed the flap open while shouting "What happened?"

"It's-it's-it's a SPIDER! EEEEEEWWW!" Serra screeched and jumped away from the offending creature. I felt very foolish.

"A spider? You were doing all that screaming over a spider?" I asked disbelievingly.

"It's big and hairy and-**MAKE IT GO AWAY!**" She then ran screaming from the tent.

I looked at the spider.

It looked at me.

I shrugged.

It shrugged.

I said "You better get away from here before she comes back."

It got away from here.

I then went outside to see if Serra was traumatized. By the way she was hiding behind my tent, I believed she was.

"I just woke up and it was THERE! And it was so UGLY! EW! How can anything be that hideous?" She was ranting.

"We better get back on the road, Serra." I had dropped the title because I figured that in her current state, she wouldn't have even noticed if I had said "Yo, you ugly female dog, lets get going."

As we got our tents packed back up and got moving again, and as she continued to talk and rant on the hideousness of spiders, I realized this was going to be a very long, long, long, long, longity longer long trip.

I had no idea how right I was.

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Arianna: I am alive! A little ill, but alive!

Latisha: Eeeew, puke is nasty.

Arianna: I can't help it. –sob- Yes, I am a little sick. But I still typed this chapter tonight! Aren't I dedicated?

Erk: I just think you're crazy.

Serra: You used to think I was crazy too, though, remember?

Erk: -mumbling- Still do.

Serra: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Erk: Nothing.

Arianna: Oh my! 10 reviews on the prologue! –faints-

Latisha: -slap slap- Wakeup! You gotta write responses!

Arianna: -sits up- Oh yeah! Here they are!

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-: REVIEW RESPONSES :-

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:Zero84:

Arianna: I'm glad someone feels good. -runs back to bathroom- BLEEECH!

Latisha: Ew, ew, ew……

Eliwood: -turns green-

Arianna: -comes back out- Thanks for reviewing!

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:Angel Nina:

Arianna: -waves flag- Long live Erk and Serra!

Erk: Elimine, help us all. There are TWO Serras?

Serra: I'm prettier, aren't I, Erky?

Erk: ….. –runs-

Serra: ERKY?

Arianna: Thanks for reviewing!

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:The Story Master 125:

Eliwood: WOW! A FAN!

Arianna: Ummm….incase you haven't noticed, Eliwood, you have a lot of fans.

Eliwood: -goes on internet- WOW! Lots of fans!

Erk: ……..

Arianna: Thanks for reviewing! And for the compliments.

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:Shadow Mewtwo977:

Arianna: Hehe, ya, I can see a DeeDee voice on Serra. Thanks for reviewing!

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:DTN:

Serra: Poor Erk? Why _Poor _Erk? He's with wonderful, fantabulous, ME!

Eliwood: Ya, I can see why you feel sorry for him.

Serra: Grrrr……

Eliwood: Whoops. Did _I_ say that?

Arianna: Thanks for reviewing!

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:Kitsune Asakura:

Latisha: Oh no! Am I gonna have to wake you up too? -raises hand for slap-

Sain: -grabs her hand- Oh dearest Latisha!

Latisha: AH! -slaps him instead-

Serra: Yes, I have such a lovely voice, don't I?

Eliwood: -cough cough-

Arianna: Thanks for reviewing!

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:Kota the Tactician:

Arianna: Annoying? Serra? Nah.

Serra: Was that sarcastic?

Arianna: Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!

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:Goddess of the Northern Breeze:

Serra: Lots of people pitying Erky. Why doesn't anyone pity me? I'm the one that's getting teased!

Latisha: Builds character.

Serra: Hmph. The wrong kind of character.

Arianna: Thank you for reviewing!

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:Rockie1:

Erk: Of course it sounds like us, who else would we sound like?

Eliwood: Those orange midget dudes from Willy Wonka.

Erk: Okay….that was a random answer….

Arianna: Thank you for reviewing!

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:potter29vo:

Serra: I adore Erky, too.

Arianna: I adore sleep. Can I go now?

Latisha: Sure. This is the last review. Just say your robotic response first.

Arianna: Thanks for reviewing!

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Arianna: Okay, I'm outta here. Thanks to all readers! Bye-bye now!

Erk: See you whenever we next get Arianna off her lazy butt.

Sain: Next chapter I come in!

Erk: Oh joy.

Serra: Was THAT sarcastic too?

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	3. Chapter Two: Lyn's Losers

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Arianna: WOOHOO! I'm not sick, school is out, I've got the house to myself, and I'm actually typing this at a decent hour! LIFE IS GOOD!

Latisha: Ugh. Too much happy. Need…darkness… -curls into ball-

Arianna: Right….ummm….anyway…I realize the last chapter was pretty short and it didn't really get the plot anywhere.

Erk: Plot? There's a plot?

Arianna: I blame it on the fact I was sick. But I promise this chapter will be longer and it will actually go somewhere!

Erk: It can't go anywhere until you actually start the chapter.

Arianna: Oh, alright. Here it is!

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**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Fire Emblem. Must I keep saying that?

Erk: If you don't want to get sued, you will.

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-: ERK'S POV :-

I was wet, cold, tired, and my head hurt. I shall now attempt to explain the insanity that occurred to put me in that condition.

- FLASHBACK -

_We were still walking about. It seemed no matter how much we walked, no matter how much she talked, she never wore herself out. (I'm a poet and I didn't even know it. Heh). She suddenly started "awing" and saying "C'mere boy". I was scared for a moment, thinking she was talking to me. I looked over and saw she was on her knees, motioning for a ratty-looking stray dog to come to her. _

"_Serra, that might not be such a good idea." I said. As if anything she does is a good idea. "It might have some disease."_

"_Don't be silly, Erky." She giggled. "It's just a cute, little doggie."_

_That so called "cute, little doggie" was about as big as me, and foaming at the mouth. I tried to remember how long it takes for rabies to kill a person. Would I have enough time to get Serra to Ostia? I decided not to chance it._

"_Serra," I said anxiously, "That dog has rabies! Lets go!"_

_But she continued to call to it. Until, that is, it lunged at her, snarling._

"_EEEEEEK!" she screamed, "STOP IT, ERK!"_

_I grabbed for my Fire book, but before I could attack, it sank its teeth into her tent pack. She pulled it while screaming, but even though the dog winced at the high-pitchness of her voice, it refused to let go. She finally gave it up and the dog ran off into the woods. With her tent. She turned around and snatched my tent pack out of my hands._

"_Stupid Erk! How could you lose your tent to a dumb dog like that? Were you trying to make it so you would have a reason to share a tent with me? Well, I won't, so you'll just have to sleep outside!" She hit me in the head with her staff. Then she walked to the side of the path and started setting my - now her - tent up. I stared after her, speechless. Then I started stammering things like "B-but-" and "Y-you-". I felt a few raindrops hit my head as she finished setting "her" tent up and walked into it, leaving me with nothing to do but sleep in the rain._

_- _END FLASHBACK -

At long last, it was morning. I prayed to Elimine above that we would make it to Ostia today, and this nightmare would end. I wrung the rain water from my hair and tried to remember the dream I had when I finally fell asleep. I remembered something pink. And something soft. I froze. Serra. I dreamed about Serra. And if memory served me correct, about KISSING Serra. I felt like I could vomit.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

I woke up feeling refreshed, but a little guilty. I remembered what I had done.

'_Poor Erk._ _That was really mean of me._' I mused to myself. '_But what else could I do? I couldn't have slept in the rain! And I CERTAINLY couldn't have shared my tent with him. It wouldn't have been ladylike._' I walked out the flap of the tent to see Erk sitting on the ground. He was shaking his head and looked very pale. Uh oh. He might have got sick sleeping in the rain! Or maybe he was just remembering the spider from yesterday. I don't care WHAT Erk says, it was AT LEAST as big as a boulder. _And_ it had fangs. I'm positive.

"C'mon, Erky!" I chirped cheerfully, "You can't stall for more time with me any longer! I must get to Ostia soon!" He stood up and followed, staring at the ground and still shaking his head.

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-: OUTER POV :-

(A/N: I think it's called a 3rd person point of view, but I never trust what I think. And outer is funner to write. Don't know why. It just is.)

Every good story has its villain. And Fire Emblem's villain just happens to be half crazy, half power hungry, and wholly ugly. Yes, it is the hideous thing known as Nergal. Now, you're probably wondering things right now like 'Isn't this an Erk/Serra story?' or 'Who cares about Nergal?' and even maybe 'What the heck does this have to do with anything?' But aren't you the least bit curious what Nergal was doing that year between Lyn's Story and Eliwood's Story? I mean, why didn't he just open the gateway once he had recaptured Ninian and Nils? Why did he wait a year? The following will be MY explanation. And for all you people who think that this is a waste of time, you'll just have to hold Kent and Sain's horses. As any avid fanfiction reader knows, anything worth reading is worth waiting for. Now that I've finished my speech, lets see my little side story.

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Over on the Dread Isle, (or Valor, for all you technical people) Nergal, Ephidel, Limstella, Lord Darin, and his son Erik were all plotting some evil stuff. And possibly Sonia was plotting, too. Wait, no, Sonia wasn't there yet. She will be, though.

"What are we going to do tonight, Father?" said Erik.

"Same thing we do every night, Son." replied Darin. "TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

Nergal looked over his evil plans in his evil agenda book. He would soon have the siblings back in his ever-so-evil, and rarely washed, clutches. He cackled evilly, in that way most evil villains do.

"Ephidel," he said in his raspy voice, "Set the plans in motion!" and started cackling again.

"Wait! HOLD IT!" screamed a voice from the shadows. Okay, here she is. It was Sonia. "We can't yet!" she bemoaned despairingly.

Nergal was rather miffed that his evil cackling was cut short, but he recovered. "And just why not?" he demanded, hands on hips.

"Uhhhh…Lord Nergal." said Ephidel, looking at his master's hands. Nergal quickly removed them from his sides, looking about as embarrassed as an evil villain can look.

"Because," Sonia explained, "We don't have PIZZA!"

A shocked silence followed these horrible words. An evil, shocked silence, of course.

"N-no pizza?" stammered Ephidel in disbelief.

"How can we ever achieve world domination without pizza!" yelled Darin in distress.

But Nergal, ever the crafty villain, said quite simply, "Well, we will just have to buy one."

"WHERE?" asked Sonia "Where do you expect me to find a pizza in these times? Most people still think tomatoes are poisonous!"

"Silly creatures." Erik murmured, who was currently eating a handful of the little, round, red fruits/vegetables. Then he fell over and died from the poison. But of course, no one noticed, because no one cared. Especially his dad. As is proven in Eliwood's story.

"Well," said Nergal, thinking once more, "Then you can make one."

Sonia considered this. "That may work. But for a task as difficult as that, I will require assistance."

Nergal sighed and opened up his evil agenda book. "Okay. I'll order Jaffar to help us. He can slice pepperoni with those Edgy Killer thingies. Although this will put my plans back about, oh, say, one year."

"Don't worry," said Sonia reassuringly, "It's worth it."

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(A/N: Okay, back to the actual story.)

-: ERK'S POV :-

We were walking again and she was talking. Again. I should probably stop saying that. I think everyone realizes that by now. I was thinking that something was missing. Had we left something behind? I looked over at Serra, who was currently rambling on worse than any elderly person I've ever talked to. Her babbling was about lock picks, of all things.

"Serra, " I interrupted, stopping her in mid-rant about some guy named 'Matthew' back in Ostia who once picked the lock on her jewelry box, then pawned all her rings for gold. "Did we forget something?"

She stopped and looked down at her hands, where all she was carrying was her healing staff. Realization suddenly struck her face like lightning. "Oh NOOOOO!" she moaned, "I left the tent! Set up and everything! NOW what will we do?"

I sighed. I was so caught up in my horrible nightmare, that I had completely not noticed when we walked off and left the tent. "We'll just have to find a cave. Or if we can make it to the next town, we can stay at an Inn. I have some gold in my…bag…." I trailed off. My bag. Which was with my tent pack. Which was in the tent four hours back.

"GAH!" I screamed in frustration.

"It's okay, Erky." Serra said, patting my arm. "I'm sure I could convince the Inn owner to let a poor, pretty waif like me have a room for free. And you seem to be fine with sleeping outside." Then she went skipping along the path. "C'mon!" she called over her shoulder, "I know which path to take from here!"

I followed tiredly.

- A Few Hours Later -

"Ummmmm………." Serra said, looking around at the trees. "Can trees have twins, Erk?"

I gave her a perturbed look. What a strange question. "I'm not sure. I don't believe so. Why do you ask?"

She continued to turn her head back and forth, looking at the trees on either side of the path. " 'Cause these trees look awfully familiar and I thought maybe that was their brothers and sisters a few miles back."

I stopped. I looked at the trees. They did seem familiar. "Serra……" I began slowly.

"…yes?"

"These. Are. The. SAME. _FLUXING_. **TREES!**" I shouted, ready to tear my hair out. Except, I could never do that to my hair. It's so pretty and purple. AHEM. Ignore that last statement.

"Oooh….we're lost! This makes me so mad!" she whined.

She's mad? SHE'S mad? I'm fuming! "You told me you were certain this was the correct path!" I snapped bitterly.

She looked at me shrewdly. "What's your point, Erk? What are you trying to say?"

THAT YOU'RE A FREAKIN' ANNOYING MORON! That's what I wanted to say. I said instead, coldly, "I heard that someone was needed to escort a frail, Lycian priestess to Ostia…."

She sighed in a 'we've-been-through-this-before' way. "Yes, and I'm that priestess." Then she smiled at me sweetly. NO ONE had the right to smile at me like that after ruining my life so royally. Even if the smile did make her look sort of cute. UGH! KILL THOUGHT! _DIE_ THOUGHT!

"Frail? You?" I replied. "Serra, you have no need of any escort to protect you. Even the most hardened criminal would flee in terror after five minutes in your company." Yeah. It was a little harsh, but it was the truth. "I'll return your money. Gladly. NOW, will you please go on to Ostia alone?" I asked hopefully.

She got upset. "NO! You're _my _escort, Erk! MINE!"

Oookay. A little possessive.

"You're so clean and tidy." She continued, "A noblewoman like myself can't be seen without a proper escort. Your personality's nothing special, but you're not bad to look it."

Did she…just…compliment me? Yes, in a tiny way, she had. "I believe that's my line." I said evenly. "And I have to take you all the way to Ostia? I only hope my nerves can endure the journey." I grumbled. They were already fraying. But, she was in 'La-La-La-I-can't-hear-you-because-it's-not-something-I-wanna-hear' mode.

"What are you mumbling about? You're so gloomy!" she complained. She then noticed a commotion somewhere further down the path. "Hm? Something's happening over there. Let's take a look!" she said excitedly, already running off. I dragged along after her, mumbling to myself.

"Ah. Of course. The first opportunity to get involved in trouble, and she jumps right in." I grumbled. "No amount of money is worth this. Hoo…" But maybe we could ask the people for directions. I stopped and looked up to see a small group of people arguing with some bandits.

"Wow!" shrieked Serra, who was standing right beside me. "A fight! A fight! Erk! Take a look! Fighting those bandits… It's a young girl!"

I looked closely and saw that it was, in fact, a woman fighting. She looked like she was Sacaen. She had long, dark-green hair, pulled back in a ponytail high on her head. With her were two knights on horseback, an archer, a pegasus knight, and a big man with an axe. There was also a strange girl with long, brown hair and a green cloak shouting orders to the group. They did not look like they needed our help. And they looked a little busy to help us. I was about to grab Serra and continue on our lost way, when a bandit noticed Serra and me.

"Eh? What's this?" he grunted. "You in league with that she-devil?"

She-devil? If anyone is a she-devil, it would be Serra. That woman with the sword definitely didn't look like a devil. Although her mother might have taught her better than to walk around in dresses slit clear up to almost her waist.

"Hm?" Serra gasped, drawing my attention back to the approaching bandit. He looked angry and had his axe raised.

"Ah…this is so wrong…." I sighed. I readied my spell book.

"Gyaaa! I'll take care of you with one swift stroke!" then he ran toward us with his axe swinging.

"Eeeeeek! Eeeeeek! EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! ERK! HELP ME!" Serra screamed, almost busting my ear drum.

"So…loud…" I said, my concentration momentarily broken, but I quickly snapped back into action. "Serra! Behind me!" She hurriedly obeyed. "You there!" I yelled to the bandit. "See if you can match me!" Then I attacked.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

'Oh no….' I thought to myself. 'What have I got us in now?' The heat from the flames of Erk's attack stung my eyes. In the distance, I heard the green-haired woman shout "Look! Arianna, someone's over there!" Hopefully her group would help us out. I had no idea how strong Erk's abilities were. For all I knew, he was still a level one mage!

(A/N: -cough- He was! –cough-)

As the bandit ran back to his gang, Greenie and crew came running over. "Um, excuse me….hello?" said the sword-woman.

"Hm?" I said. I think I said that not too long ago, also. I really needed to broaden my interjection vocabulary. It seemed to only include 'Hm?' and 'Eeeek!'.

"Why are you fighting these bandits?" she asked.

"…..It just happened." Erk replied. Awww…how sweet. He wasn't going to tell them it was all my fault. Well, if he wasn't going to blame it on me, maybe I could blame it on them! That way, we could guilt them into helping us get to Ostia!

"That's not true!" I exclaimed. "Those ruffians thought that we were with you! You got us into a terrible situation! Now, how are you going to get us out?" I demanded, while glaring accusingly at the whole group. The pegasus knight hid behind her steed. I thought for sure we had them. But then, Erk ruined it all.

"Serra, if you'd not been so meddlesome, this all could have been avoided." He told me. Then he turned to Greenie. "My apologies. Please trouble yourself with us no more" He turned back and started to leave.

"But….if you're going to have to fight anyway, shouldn't we team up?" Greenie said to his back. "It will end things faster, right?"

Hm. She had a point. Plus, I could tell Erk was not thrilled with the idea. It would get him back for ruining my plan. Stupid Erk. Didn't he know it was perfectly fine to take advantage of people if it was to help yourself? It was in Elimine's holy book. Of course, I may have that a little wrong. I fell asleep in class the day they were teaching that part.

"That's true." I said, making my voice sound falsely excited. "Yes! That's a good idea. Erk!" I snapped, pulling him back to us by his cape. "Go and help these ladies."

"But I….." he started, than seemed to realize he was at a loss. He sighed for the umpteenth time since I've met him. "Fine!" he agreed angrily.

"Very good." Greenie said, smiling. "My name's Lyn. So, tell me, will you join arms with us?" she asked, pleasantly. Erk just glared back at her grumpily.

"Yes, we'd be GLAD to." I said. Atleast, I would be. He he. "My name is Serra. This is my escort, Erk." I said, gesturing to the pouting mage. "Be a good boy and go fight now, Erk." I said as condescendingly as I could. Then I patted him on the head. He just sighed again.

Lyn explained about the people in her group and ran off to the battlefield with the others. I went over to the cloaked girl who seemed to be their tactician. "Hello." I greeted her cheerfully. "You're Arianna, right? I'm Serra. Nice to meet you." She just nodded. "By the way, see this contrary mage here with me?" I motioned with my hand toward Erk. He was attempting to tear a piece of his cloak off with his teeth to wrap around his wounds from the bandit's axe. "His name is Erk." I looked for a reaction in the tactician, but she just continued to stare blankly at me, waiting for me to continue. "I think he's been hurt. I am Erk's employer. 'Master', I suppose you could say. What I'm getting at is…I was thinking of healing him free of charge. I know. I'm generous to a fault." I smiled at the tactician. Still no reaction. She just kept staring at me. Was there something on my face? "Hm? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked. It was getting a little creepy. "Praise my generosity! Anyway, that's the deal." I walked over to Erk. 

-: ARIANNA'S POV :-

'_Phew. She finally went away._' I thought in relief. Then I took the earplugs out. '_Good thing I brought these along. I would have gone deaf listening to her without 'em! I didn't hear a word she said, though. I wonder what she's going to do. Oh well._' I rushed off to direct my small mercenary group in battle.

-: ERK'S POV :-

Bite. Pull. Pull. Pull. The stupid cloth would not tear! I had to stop the bleeding soon, though. I saw Serra running toward me. '_I should be able to bleed a little longer._' I thought, getting ready to run for it. But she got to me before I could move.

"ERKY! I'm going to heal you!" She shrieked.

'_Huh. As if I would let her. She'd probably get it wrong and kill me!_' I struggled to my feet and tried to limp away. "No thanks, Serra! I'll just die!" I yelled back at her.

"Don't be silly!" She answered, easily catching up to my injured pace. "Just hold still!" She raised her staff. I cringed in terror. "I'm going to use my staff!" she announced to the whole battlefield. "WATCH IN WONDER!" Then I was blinded by a bright light. Everything around me faded away. When it came back, I immediately jumped to my feet and took off running.

"YOU COULD ATLEAST SAY THANK YOU!" she screamed at me.

I paused.

I was healed! Serra actually did something right for a change! "Thank you!" I yelled back to her. I spotted the tactician standing near the knight in green.

"No I will NOT kiss your injuries, Sain!" she was saying to him. I decided to run over and introduce myself and my power so she could plan how to best use it in this battle.

"But Lady Arianna, I am certain your sweet kiss could heal all my wounds, no matter how ghastly or fatal they are!" He said, with a strange twinkle in his eye. But she just whacked his horse and sent it running, dragging Sain along, who had been standing on the ground, holding the reins.

"You are Arianna?" I said, startling her. "I am Erk. I'm not sure how I got in this mess." Actually, I was quite sure how it happened. Serra. As is the reason how most of my most recent problems have happened. "If I am going to fight, however, I will show you the true power of magic!" I said in a noble voice. For some reason, she started to laugh. "What is it?" I asked, rather offended.

"I'm sorry, but that sounded very corny." She giggled. I was very put out. Hmph. I'll show HER! I stomped out on the field. "HEY BANDITS!" I yelled. Everyone stopped and looked over at me. "Ya wanna know something?" I said. Even Lyn's group had stopped to see what I was doing. "YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF SISSIES!" I yelled mockingly.

"Um…Erk. It's okay. I'm sorry." Arianna said nervously behind me. But it was too late for that. All the bandits had left their fight and were stalking toward me. And they all looked mad.

"You're gonna learn why people fear the Ganelon Bandits!" yelled their leader. I grabbed my Fire book and attacked him.

-NO DAMAGE-

I must've went very white. "Uh oh…." I said, trembling. I backed up very slowly, bumping into Arianna, who had frozen behind me.

"He he he…." Laughed the bandits, closing in on us. I said my prayers in my head, closing my eyes. Why did it have to end like this? If Elimine could somehow save me from this, I would kiss Serra! Just then, I heard Arianna shout behind me.

"Kent! Hurry! With your sword! ATTACK!" she screamed, turning around and running. The knight in red armor slashed at the bandit leader.

"Wil!" yelled Arianna, now further away, "SHOOT!"

Arrows suddenly embedded themselves into the bandit leader. He cried out then fell backwards. "Blaaaaah….scum…you're all scum…." he moaned. He fell limp and died. The bandits ran away.

"Nicely done, Arianna. That should just about do it." Lyn said. Then she looked around. "Arianna?" I looked and saw that by now, Arianna was just a speck in the distance. Serra came running over.

"What a surprise. You are very strong, Lyn." She said in admiration. Then she glanced over at me as if to say 'unlike-a-certain-mage-I-know'.

"Your staff is a wondrous thing. Healing powers amaze me." Lyn said to her. Hmph. I don't see anything too amazing about healing magic. Anima magic is much more interesting.

"Only those in the service of good can wield them." said Serra with a smile.

"Then what are you doing with it?" I mumbled under my breath. Luckily, she didn't hear me though. I think Arianna did, though. She gave me a reproachful look. Little snooty girl.

"You helped us tremendously. Well, it's time for us to go." Lyn said. And was it just me, or did she sound a little happy about that? I certainly was.

"Take care. Goodbye, Lyn." said Serra, sniffling back sobs. She knew them for, what, thirty minutes?

"Fare you well." Lyn said. "You too, Erk." she added as an afterthought.

"Goodbye." I said a little gruffly. They walked off along the left path. Luckily, we were going on the right one.

"Well, let us be on our way, Erk." Serra said mournfully and trudged toward the right path. I followed in a rare, joyful mood. I saw that knight in green from earlier, Sain, approaching us. A feeling of dread crept into my stomach.

"What have we here?" he said, looking at Serra. "Another wildflower? Perhaps a butterfly? What an absolutely delectable creature!" I looked around trying to spot who he was talking about. He couldn't possibly be talking about SERRA, could he?

'_Oh, sweet Elimine, I believe he is._' I thought to myself in amazement.

"Oh my! Are you one of Lyn's companions?" Serra asked him innocently. Couldn't she see he was flirting with her? For some reason, that fact bothered me.

"Please, call me Sain." he said, taking her hand and kissing it. She giggled. I wanted to throw up.

"I'm Serra. I serve House Ostia." she replied. He looked at her with a dazed expression on his face.

"Serra….what a lyrical name." Sain said dreamily. Gag. "I am in service to Castle Caelin." Serra looked at him, surprised.

"Oh! So is Lyn a member of the marquess' family?"

"She is the granddaughter of our lord, the marquess."

"Hmmm….such an important person." Serra murmured, pensive. At this point I got very nervous.

"Serra…what deviousness are you contemplating now?"

She laughed in a 'tee heeing' way. "Having a person of power in your debt is never a bad thing!"

Oh no. Not this again. "You can't be serious….."

"Oh, Sain!" she said, turning back to the puzzled knight, "Do you think we could join the Lady Lyndis' company? She seems like such a nice person, and I would ever so much like to help her." she lied convincingly. Not that it takes much to convince Sain of something when it comes from the mouth of a pretty girl.

Sain's face immediately brightened. "Of course! We couldn't be happier! Why, we were only just saying how we need some more fighting power!" he said joyfully. Somehow, I got the feeling he was lying, too.

"Are you being hunted or something?" Serra asked in concern.

"Yes, it's an inheritance dispute." he said way too happily. "Assassins everywhere!"

Wow. REALLY sounds like something I want to get involved in. Sheesh. Does this fool truly think we're that stupid?

"Oh my! In that case, my healing staff and Erk's magic should come in handy." Serra chirped. Oh no. Oh NO. I will NOT get involved in this!

"Well, I, er... it sounds... dangerous." I stammered. I wanted to scream.

"Your staff and magic would be extremely helpful! Please wait here! I will go and speak with Lady Lyndis on your behalf." Then he rode off before I could get another word in.

"Unbelievable..." I said in shock. This is not happening. THIS IS _NOT_ HAPPENING.

"This is fantastic, Erk! Our good deeds will earn us gratitude beyond imagining!" Serra giggled. I wanted to strangle her.

"I... I... I think I'm going to be ill." I said. This _was_ happening. "WHY ME?" I screamed distressingly. "Of all things, a mage like me, stuck with a _lowly _mercenary gang! BEING CHASED BY ASSASSINS! AGH!"

"Actually," said a rather annoying sound that sounded like the male version of Serra's voice, "We're a legion!" That archer from before came walking up with the rest of the group behind him. "Lyn's Legion! Clever name, huh?"

Looking from the cowering pegasus knight, to the beaming Lady Lyndis, to the glowering Kent, over to the pervert Sain- WHO WAS FLIRTING WITH SERRA AGAIN- up to the quiet axeman, and finally down to the little freak in front of me, I thought this was more like a band of losers than a legion. I started to wonder if I'd ever see Etruria again. This trip just seemed to get longer…and longer…and longer….and longer……

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Arianna: WOW! That took a long time. A lot of it was conversation from the actual game. The next chapter should be more original stuff. I did try to add in some humorous thoughts, though.

Erk: I'm going to barbeque Sain.

Arianna: You do that. I'm going to go visit the outside world.

Latisha: Not until you do review responses!

- - - - **REVIEW RESPONSES** - - - -

-:Nevian:- I'm glad you thought it was. –shudders- Personally, I can't stand spiders. They're like insect vampires, sucking the blood out of their victims. I would have been running and screaming with Serra. (Although my scream wouldn't have been screechy) Anyways, thanks for reviewing!

-:The Story Master 125:-Don't worry about poor Erky. Things will eventually get better for him…………..maybe. Thanks for reviewing!

-:Knight-Lord-Eliwood:- Yes, that spell is very friendly. In fact, I just went out to lunch with it a few days ago, and it is quite an interesting spell. Although I don't think that's what you meant. Thanks very much for reviewing!

-:potter29vo:- Cheap thrills. Getting a review answered. I'll try not to forget the story in the future. Although I do seem to get a little off track sometimes.

-:DTN:- Waaaait a second. I just realized who you are! You have stuff on devianART! That's where I've seen that name before! I'm a big fan of your Fire Emblem fanart! Especially your JaffarxNino stuff!

Erk: Okay, Arianna. Let's move on.

I like almost all the same Fire Emblem couples as you! I was sooo glad to see a PentxLouise fanart! And that MatthewxLeila one! My favorite was your A support for Jaffar and Nino, though! And their 'S' support was really funny!

Erk: BAD ARIANNA! Stop being an annoying fan and get back to your responses!

-sigh- Okay…. Thanks for reviewing!

-:Sparky:- Wow, you mean I'm actually good at something? –shocked- Thank you! And thanks for reviewing!

-:Scarabsi:- Yes, I have wondered. Terribly unfair to poor Erk if you ask me. There's a full body picture of Bartre, but they couldn't have made one of Erk? Thank you so much for caring about my sickness. I'm such a whine, complaining about being sick in a fanfiction. Thanks for reviewing!

-:Rockie1:- No protests from me. Thanks for reviewing!

-:Shadow Mewtwo977:- Thanks! And thanks for reviewing so many times for my stories. I really appreciate it!

-:changeofheart18782:- Hopefully he won't be tormented for TOO much longer. Eventually they'll have to get along, or this wouldn't be a romance fic! Thanks for reviewing!

-:BrightBlueInk:- Please do convert to the ErkxSerra fandom. I love Erky, too, but since he's fictional and we're not, it always made since to me to put him with another fictional character. Although the way I act when Erk accidently gets killed in my game, you'd think he was real. And yes, I'm trying to make Serra have a little intelligence. Thanks for reviewing!

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Arianna: I'm gonna go outside and run around for awhile. See you next chapter!

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	4. Chapter Three: Wrath & Thievery

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Arianna: Why, hello! I'm really rather confused about what I'm doing here right now. I _was _going to work on the next chapter of FEI, and I somehow ended up in this story instead!

Serra: =hides mind control remote= What? Why does everyone always suspect ME?

Erk: =sigh=

Arianna: Well, since I'm here, I might as well write another chapter. :D

Matthew: =steals remote= You shall now do the 'Funky Chicken'! =hits button=

Arianna: Wha- sorry, folks! I'm suddenly feeling a strong urge to do the 'Funky Chicken'. =starts dancing=

Serra: MATTHEW! GIVE THAT BACK! =grabs it back and hits rewind=

Arianna: Now, as I was saying, here's another chap-

Eliwood: Wow, cool! =grabs remote= You will now be in love with Bartre! =presses button=

Arianna: =spots Bartre= Oh, my love! You have returned to me! =hugs Bartre=

Karla: =WHAM= My man! =drags Bartre off=

Bartre: Doh….byebye…

Arianna: Ouch. My head…

Eliwood: HAHAHAHAHA!

Serra: GRRRR! =grabs it back and hits rewind again=

Arianna: -ter of 'Protecting The Devil'! =snatches remote and hits 'PLAY'=

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**DISCLAIMER:** No FE for poor, moneyless me! Oh, and although Wil does get made fun of a couple times, it doesn't mean I don't like him. It's just that I don't think Erk would be too thrilled with having a social person like Wil around when he's in a situation he finds irritating.

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-=: ERK'S POV :=-

- - -

_Trot Trot Trot_

"And it would just look _darling_ on you, Lyn-"

_Thump_

"You know, Erk, you seem to be a gloomy fellow."

_Twitch_

"Do you really think so, Serra? I always-"

_Trot Trot Trot_

"I'm positive! I know fashion. And believe me, Lyn-"

_Thump_

"You should try to lighten up a bit. I mean, it can't be fun to be so grumpy all the time."

_Twitch_

"Well, then maybe I'll try that sometime, Serra."

_Trot Trot Trot_

"You really should. It might even make you _almost_ as pretty as me! Teehee!"

_Thump_

"This is going to be quite a long trip. And I just don't think you have the right attitude."

"And just how long do you suppose this trip is going to take?" I finally said. I had been listening to all this for the past few hours. Let me explain what has been going on in simpler terms.

People With Hooved Animals That Go Trot: Kent, Sain, Florina

The Fashion Advisor: Serra

Thumper: Dorcas

Mood Therapist: Wil

Twitchy: Me.

Polite Listener: Lyn

If you had to listen to these people for hours you would be twitching too. Especially the archer. He seems to be the talkative type. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The more talkative, the better. Someone to keep Serra busy. But sadly, Wil seemed more interested in talking to me than Serra. And Serra was left trying to give fashion tips to a tomboyish swordfighter.

"Oh, only about two more weeks at most." Wil replied, smiling. He didn't seem to ever _stop_ smiling. It got aggravating. Although I don't know why I would find happy people aggravating. Hmmm…maybe I _am _gloomy.

"Oh, wonderful." I remarked, sarcastically. I'm very good at sarcasm. It's a hobby. "So at least now I don't even have a _hope _of finishing my mission of escorting the Devil Cleric soon." Wil kept right on smiling, but he had a flicker of confusion in his eyes. He seemed to realize there was something wrong with my reply. This guy was either a hopeless fool or a hidden genius. My gold is on the former.

After an hour more of the nerve-grating noises and senseless chatter, we came to a big city. The city of Araphen. That would be pronounced Are-ah-fen. Quite easy, no? But as with everything involved with this group, things had to be made complicated.

"A-rap-hen," said Serra, "We're finally here!" Yes, she said it wrong. Most people would have just let it go. But no, not Kent. Not 'Everything Must Be Right' man. He had to make a big ordeal out of it.

"Ah, Miss Serra…" he said. I could tell just from that that whatever he had to say was not going to do us any good. Just one of my hunches. And it was right. "It's pronounced Are-ah-fen." Kent corrected. Serra immediately argued back.

"Is not! It's A-rap-hen!" she insisted. Then put her hands on her hips. "Are you suggesting that I'm stupid?" she demanded, glaring at Kent.

"No! Of course not!" he hastily said. "But, Miss Serra, I'm sure it's Are-ah-fen." he persisted. I wanted to slap him for his stupidity. Couldn't he see that his efforts were in vain?

"A-rap-hen!" she screeched back.

"Are-ah-fen." he repeated.

"A-rap-hen!"

"Are-ah-fen!"

"A-RAP-HEN!"

"AGH! Why don't I go ask the marquess himself how to pronounce it?" Kent yelled. Then he shouted over his shoulder to Sain. "Sain! I'm going to the castle!" And he rode off. Serra stuck her tongue out at his rapidly disappearing figure as he blended into the crowds of the streets. I sighed for what felt like the millionth.1 time this mission.

"What city is this?" I heard Lyn say, coming up behind Serra and I.

"This?" Sain replied. Which I thought was a rather good example of stating the obvious. "This is Are-ah-fen! After Ostia, it's the second biggest city in Lycia." he said. Serra opened her mouth to protest but I shut it quickly for her with my hand.

"The second biggest, hm? It does seem awfully busy." Lyn said. These folks were rather gifted with words of obviousness that most people wouldn't bother remarking on. They continued to talk for a few more seconds until we saw Kent approaching.

"Milady Lyndis! Let us proceed to the castle." he called out when he got closer. "They've prepared supplies for us. The marquess has agreed to aid us on our journey to Caelin." He said.

"He's going to help us?" asked Lyn. I restrained myself from slapping my forehead in irritation. Must these people always talk about the obvious? How do their conversations ever get anywhere? I decided I'd rather talk to Serra then continue listening to them.

"Serra." I said. She was questioning random people on the street about the pronunciation problem and didn't like the results.

"What?" she asked, turning away from a confused villager and facing me.

Hmm…I hadn't actually thought of anything to say. There was an awkward silence as she stared at me, waiting for me to speak. I was saved when an assassin jumped out of nowhere, threatening Lyn. Then she was saved when an arrow went whizzing by and straight into the assassin's back. I spun around to see a Sacaen man on a horse. A nomad, by the looks of him. And the ladies seemed to like the looks of him. Serra spotted him and started giggling. Arianna actually waved. Even Florina cast a few glances his way.

"What? An arrow?" Lyn said, turning around to see who had saved her. I almost screamed at her newest RDOO (Random Display Of Obviousness), but thought of something better to worry about. How come this guy was getting such a reaction from the females? Why didn't any of them act this way when seeing me for the first time? Not that I would want them to. It just would have been nice. Alright, I was jealous. Sue me.

"I am Wrath of the Kutolah." The archer on horseback was saying. "Our tribes may be different, but I will not abandon a woman of Sacae." he finished gallantly. Lyn almost swooned. Serra giggled again. I made a gagging gesture, but made it so only Wil could see. Then Wil giggled. Hm. Strange….

(_A/N: Wil's giggling at Erk's gesture, not at Rath. This isn't a yaoi fic. Sorry yaoi fans._

_Yaoi Fans: Awww… =they walk off with 'We Love Yaoi' banners=_

_And I know how to spell Rath's name. It's spelled different for story purposes. You'll see, eventually.)_

"Thank you, Wrath! A thousand blessings upon you!" Lyn told nomad boy, smiling sweetly. Kent gave a glare of a thousand deaths. Apparently this new guy wasn't going down too well with any of the men.

"And a thousand curses upon our enemy!" he said. Sweet guy. Really.

As we moved forward, and Lyn and Wrath discussed some 'secret passageway', I fell back by Serra. "What do you girls see in him?" I asked. For once, _I_ was the dumbfounded one. She giggled again before she answered.

"He's handsome! And noble! And a hero! He just saved Lyn's life!" Serra giggled. I frowned. I didn't see how that made him so special. I'm handsome. I'm noble. And I've saved Serra's life. How come no girls were swooning over me?

(Erk Fan Girls: =SWOON=)

I just snorted derisevly and walked up beside a sulky Kent. I watched as Lyn went in a house and came back out with a blonde haired fellow. By his slim figure, and the way his hands twitched every few seconds, I assumed he was a thief. The blonde man walked over to Arianna and intoduced himself.

"Pardon! You're Arianna, right? I'm Matthew!" he said. He then showed her his lockpick and my thoughts were confirmed. At least this one didn't seem to cause as big of an impact on the moods of the girls. All except for Serra. She, strangely, seemed to get very excited when she spotted Matthew. This, oddly enough, bothered me. But I went ahead and began fighting. A few minutes later, I saw Serra standing by a wall, looking around, nervously. I went over to see what her new issue of the day was.

"What's with you?" I asked in the nicest way I could manage at the time. Which was a little rude. But who could blame me? I didn't _want_ to get signed up for camp 'Loser Legion'. She glanced at a nearby tree, than focused her eyes on me.

"I feel something….I feel it!!!" she said excitedly. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what she felt, but I let her continue. "Someone's staring at me! It must be some poor fool who's smitten with me. Alas, my beauty has rendered him speechless. Ah…I'm so cute, it's almost criminal!" she muttered, smiling to herself. I was amazed by how she managed to turn everything she said into a compliment for her. I looked over at the tree to see Matthew run from behind it and slip into the shadows of a nearby building. I really needed to find out what his connection was with Serra. He knew her somehow, because the look on his face when he first saw her was not a flirty one. More like stunned horrification.

I followed Matthew into the building, only to be attacked by a brigand. I quickly fried him with my fire, and crept to where Matthew and Arianna were standing by a chest. Arianna had apparently given her consent for Matthew to pick the lock on the chest, for Matthew was jumping up and down.

"Changed your mind? Hurrah! Treasure time! Treasure time!" How old was this guy, four? After 'borrowing' the things in the chests, Arianna told me to press the last trigger. I did and the passageway opened. We followed Wrath inside it and met with the marquess.

"Ah! It's Wrath!" he said. "You've done well. What a performance!" he exclaimed. Hmph. What about us? I was sick of this 'Wrath' person, so I walked back outside. At least I would never have to see him again. Although it looked like Matthew was staying with us. Back outside, I saw Matthew leaning on a wall. Serra was nearby. She kept glancing over at him with a small grin, and then looking quickly away.

'_That's it._' I thought. '_I have to know what's going on!_' I walked over to Serra and stood, blocking her view of the thief. "Who is he really and how do you know him?" I asked bluntly. Her reaction was proof that I was correct in assuming she knew him. Her eyes grew a fraction wider and her expression turned nervous.

"Wh-what are you talking about, Erky?" she asked in a sweet voice, "Who is what and how do I know them?" she said, playing stupid. I exhaled loudly. (Actually, I sighed again. I'm trying to make it sound more interesting, okay?)

"Fine, Serra." I said, "It's not like it could possibly be anything important." I turned around. "I mean, it's not like he's a spy or anything." I looked over my shoulder at her to see her jaw drop. Bingo.

"H-how did you…" she stammered. I smirked and strode over to the passageway opening just as Lyn came running out with Kent and Sain in tow.

"That was well done, milady!" Sain was saying. I couldn't see what was so well. They didn't have any supplies with them, or any guards. What happened in there? "The marquess is a lout. Don't worry about anything. We're all here for you!" Sain continued. He looked over at Kent. "Isn't that so, Kent?"

"I beg your forgiveness." Kent said, gloomily. He looked quite put-out indeed at whatever had happened with the marquess. It looked like a sappy moment was coming on, so I busied myself with gathering my tomes and vulneraries. I looked up when I heard the sound of hooves pounding on cobblestones. I saw Wrath approaching.

'Oh no!' I thought. 'Did they do something that could get us arrested?' I didn't relish the thought of spending a night locked in a cell with Serra. Or ketchup or mustard the thought. If they had gotten in trouble, so be it. But they weren't taking me down with them! I would grab Serra and make a run for it. But it turned out all my planning was for naught.

"Wrath! What is it? What are you-" Lyn started, but the nomad cut her off.

"I overheard the marquess talking to himself." He said. "Lyn of the Lorca…proud daughter of the Sacae…I would join you. I would add my strength to yours." UGH! So not only did we not get supplies, I now had to put up with this guy? Why must I always be cursed so? Lyn was excited, though, of course.

"Really?" she said happily. She looked like she was barely containing herself from hugging him. Kent gave Wrath another mean glare, then turned is head, feigning indifference.

"And this…I want you to take it." Wrath said, bringing out a pouch of something shiny and gold. Matthew was instantly by Lyn's side, staring at the money, greedily.

"This is…gold!?" Lyn exclaimed. GAH! The RDOO strikes again! "It's too much. I can't accept it." She said. She loses our chance at getting supplies and now she won't take the gold!? I was about to put my two sense in when Wrath persisted.

"I have no need for it." He insisted. "And if it will help you…" He gave Lyn a strange glance that made her almost melt. I got scared. What kind of powers does this 'Wrath' possess?

"But…." Lyn said, stubbornly. She just couldn't take the dang gold and be happy, could she?

"I cannot take back something once offered." Wrath cleverly said. Lyn finally gave in and took the gold from him, only to have it snatched away by Matthew who said that he would carry it for 'safe keeping'. Pah. Yeah right.

"Wrath…I thank you." Lyn said. Matthew scampered off grinning wildly, and Arianna chased him, screaming at him to let _her_ hold the gold. I shoved my things into my small bag as Wil ran up with a clipboard.

"Hold on! Mr.Wrath! Can I get your name, please?" Wil asked, stupidly. Wrath just looked at him as blankly as he looks at anybody and told him his name. Wil wrote it down, than showed it to him. "Is that spelled right?" he asked. Wrath glanced at it and shook his head. I looked at clipboard to see what Wil had written.

"It's spelled correctly." I said, confused at why Wrath had shook his head. "W-r-a-t-h." I spelled, incase anyone in the group couldn't read. Some of them seemed a little dumber than average, so it was a possiblity.

Wrath shook his head again. "No. My name is spelled R-a-t-h." he said. Serra spoke up from behind, startling me and causing me to stumble forward and onto the ground in an act commonly called 'falling down'.

"Tee hee! Somebody must have taught you to spell your name wrong!" Serra said. "Wrath has a 'w' at the beginning." She stated. W/Rath just shook his head once more.

"No. I was taught right. No 'w'." W/Rath said. I could tell an arguement was coming. I climbed to my feet and distanced myself from Serra so as not to become the receiver of an arrow intended for Serra.

"I'm telling you, Wrath is spelled W-r-a-t-h!" Serra screeched. She seemed to be getting mad about nobody trusting her Elibean Language skills today. W/Rath just stared at her.

"And I'm telling you, it's spelled R-a-t-h." Rath evenly replied. Serra face was turning red in anger and probably embarrassment. She looked ready to start screaming, when Kent said the stupidest thing he could have possibly said.

"That reminds me, Serra. The marquess answered to 'Marquess Are-a-fen'. Not A-rap-hen." Kent said with a tiny, smug grin. Serra blew up at Kent.

"**HE PROBABLY JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER CORRECTING AN IDIOT LIKE YOU!!!**" she screamed. Kent flinched at the pitch of her voice, but looked ready to retort with a scathing comment. Rath beat him to it.

"Actually, it _is _Are-a-fen." Rath said. Serra lost it and started screaming at both of them. I covered my ears and wondered why every succesful fight seemed to end in chaos and misery. Most often, _my_ misery. But we were one step closer to Caelin, and the end of my torment.

That thought comforted me as Serra's screams and screeches echoed into the quickly falling night.

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Latisha: Hehehe. Poor Erky-poo.

Erk: ……

Arianna: I don't know why this ended up Erk's POV for the whole thing. Next one I'll make sure Serra gets some thoughts in. I would also like to take this moment to remind all readers that I do not have anything against Wil or Rath. Or anyone else who gets made fun of. It's just my view from Erk's uptight personality.

Erk: Uptight? How am I uptight?

Eliwood: You just don't want flames from Wil or Rath fans.

Arianna: Hehe. =sweatdrop= Um…review responses!

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**REVIEW RESPONSES**

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:Zephire the Tactician:

You can have Wil if I get Raven! Wait, Raven isn't even in the story yet. Hmmm..oh well! I'll get him later! :) Thanks for the review!

:potter29vo:

I'm very glad you like it so much. :) I love your 'Nino's Life' story. And that JaffarxNino oneshot was the best! Thanks for the review. :D

:Wesley:

I know very well that he likes them. The nicknames were just for comical purposes. Plus, Erk's at that rebellious age…. Thanks for the review.

:Ice Angel Mina:

Your review confused poor, stupid me. What did Mizuki mean by "Still…"? Glad to know someone liked my odd little bit with Nergal and pizza. :D And I'm overjoyed that I actually inspired someone to write something. Thanks for the review!

:Duderly Bob:

I like your name. :) Hopefully Erk won't be getting tormented as much when the story gets to Eliwood's part. Thanks for the review!

:Serra19:

Glad you like it so much. :D It's a good thing that Darin never did take over the world. He's a _little_ too stupid to run a whole world. Thanks for the review!

:Genocideking Archfiend:

YAY! An Erky picture! Thank you sooo much for the link! =hugs Genocideking=

Erk: Uhh…Riri. Some people don't like to be hugged by a crazy authoress.

Oopsies! So sorry. But I was very happy to see a full-body picture of Erk. :D Thanks for the review! Oh, and maybe Shadowknight could get cooking lessons from Lowen. :)

:Sparky:

Eeeeep! Please don't be mad! I know Wil is not a freak. But Erk has different views. Although out of all the members of the group so far, Erk seems to talk to Wil and Serra the most. :) Yes, CHEESE! I like cheese. Hehe. Thanks for the review!

:The Story Master:

HAHAHAHA! Kissy, kissy Erk!

Erk: Uh, I'll pass, thanks.

Then say bye bye to purple hair! MUHAHAHA!

Erk: How about I say bye bye to you? =runs=

Hmph. I'll get him to kiss her eventually. Thanks for the review!

:BrightBlueInk:

Thank you so much. :D I've always thought Serra was more interesting, also. I've never understood people who say she's 'annoying'. Can't they see that's what makes her so funny? :) Thanks for the review!

:Scarabsi:

Hehe, which part wasn't nice? Where he lost his tent or got lost with Serra or where he got attacked by a bandit or…hm…I think I see what you mean. :) Giggling insanely is fun. I do it often just to scare my parents. Kekekeke. :D Thanks for the review!

:DTN:

Wowsers, thanks for the compliments! :D I thought your NxJ A support was beautiful, if that's any comfort for almost being killed drawing it. Yes, another reviewer told me the link to a website where a full body picture of Erk was. Needless to say, I was thrilled. :) I hope you have more art up soon. I love all your work. Thanks for the review! Oh, and thanks for Raven. Hehe. I think you'll understand that last comment. :D

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Arianna: Okay, now what?

Eliwood: Uhh..you say bye?

Arianna: Oh, right! Bye y'all! See you (hopefully) next chapter!

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	5. Chapter Four: Green, Red, & Yellow

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Arianna: So….sleepy…..

Latisha: Party last night?

Arianna: Uh huh…I was up till 6 in the morning then I got woke back up at 8 by people running around….

Latisha: Tough luck. UPDATE!

Arianna: NOOOOO!

Eliwood: UPDATE! =shoves Arianna into computer chair=

Arianna: BAD MUSES! I'm too tired to update!

Erk: This is rather amusing.

Latisha: =holds tennis racket at ready=

Arianna: Alright, alright…sheesh… =starts update=

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**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own it or them or whatever the heck it is. That didn't make much sense, did it?

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-=: SERRA'S POV :=-

I was silently steaming to myself as we walked to Kathelet. But for all I know, it could be called Cathaleet because APPARENTLY any way I pronounce something is the wrong way according to Mr. Serious Nomad and Mr. Stuck-up Knight. But I'm ranting. As I said, we were on our way to Kathelet. Kent had been quiet ever since I whacked him over the head with my heal staff and Rath had been quiet as ever since I snapped his bow in two. They both occasionally glared at me, though. I didn't care. They shouldn't be correcting a sensitive, pretty, nice, sweet, humble priestess like me. It just wasn't nice. Erk had been quiet, too. In fact, the only ones who had talked at all the last few hours were Wil and Matthew. Matthew was confusing me. Why hadn't he acknowledged me? We were friends back in Ostia! Why was he pretending not to know me now? '_He probably just doesn't want to make the other guys jealous with the fact he's known me so much longer._' I thought and giggled. Erk gave me a look like I was insane for giggling when no one had said anything to me. I stuck my tongue out at him and he just rolled his eyes.

"Must you always be so immature?" He asked me grumpily.

"Must you always be so grumpy?" I countered. He looked at me with a grumpy expression.

"I'm not grumpy!" he stated in a definitely grumpy tone of voice. I laughed at him and he glared at me, so I laughed again. But since I was laughing I didn't see the small stone in the middle of the road. I tripped over it and threw out my arms and prepared myself for the impact of hitting the ground. But it never came. I looked down and saw two arms wrapped around my waist that were keeping me from falling. I looked back and saw that the arms belonged to Erk. I stared at him in confusion. Did he actually care about me? Erk noticed my surprised look and released me. He stepped backwards with a growing hue of red on his face. "I just didn't want my employer to fall down and bust their head open just because they couldn't watch where they were stepping." he explained matter-of-factly. But he didn't meet my eyes while he said this. Instead, he stared intently at the ground.

I was about to reply when I heard a voice somewhere far in front of us call back to us "Hey! Are you two coming or not?" I turned around and ran to catch up with the group with Erk close behind me. We steadily avoided each other for the rest of the walk. Eventually we reached Kathelet.

"Where are we, Kent?" Lyn asked the red-haired knight. I thought that was a bit stupid since we had made it quite clear before we left A-rap-hen that we were heading for Kathelet. For a lady, she really wasn't the brightest. But I suppose ladies don't have to think too much since they have advisors and such to do that for them.

"This is Kathelet." Kent reminded Lady Lyndis. "If we head due south, we'll pass into Caelin."

"From here, I'd say we're about ten days' ride to Castle Caelin." Sain estimated. "Assuming we don't run into any delays, of course." I thought that it was quite likely that we would. This group just seemed to invite danger, which was exactly why they needed such a talented cleric as me. And Erk was a rather okay bodyguard.

"Ten days…." Lyn mused to herself. She seemed to be rather anxious to get there and meet her grandfather, and I couldn't blame her. If I had family still alive and knew where they were I would want to meet them. I was looking wistfully off into the distance when I noticed a young boy running towards our group.

"Pardon me, but…" he said once he got close enough for us to hear him. He had strange, greenish hair and melancholy, brown eyes. He looked very worried about something.

"Yes? Can I help you?" Lyn asked the boy in a kind voice. But she looked a little cautious. Evil comes in all shapes and sizes, after all. Like bad hair days and broken necklaces.

"You and your friends…are you mercenaries?" the boy asked in a hopeful voice.

"And if we are?" Lady Lyn asked, guardedly. We didn't want to let any possible foes onto who we were.

"I need your help!" the boy pleaded. Lyn examined the boy's face while Kent spoke up from behind the lady.

"Milady Lyndis, you musn't let your guard down. Not even for a child." He warned. I hoped we would help the child just to spite the Caelin knight. I was bearing a _teensy_ bit of a grudge about the whole A-rap-hen thing. Just a bit.

"I know." Lyn told Kent. She turned back to the boy. "Forgive me, but we're in a hurry. Is there someone else you can ask?" she suggested.

"There's not time! Ninian's been…It's my sister! Some men have taken her away!" the boy said desperately.

"Your sister?" said Sain, appearing from behind Kent. "Did you say your sister's been accosted?" he asked in a concerned voice. His interest sparked at the mention of a potential new female to flirt with.

"Sain…" Kent warned the flirtatious cavalier, but he just kept grinning in anticipation.

"That's right! By some cruel, awful men. I don't know what I'll do without Ninian!" the boy cried despairingly. He began to tear at the eyes and I felt a tug at my heart for the poor boy. I decided that if Lyn wouldn't help him, Erk and I would stay behind and save the boy's sister. I knew what it felt like to be alone in the world.

"Milady Lyndis! We must help me!" Sain said with less than pure motives. I was tired of the conversation. I knew we were going to end up helping the child no matter what Kent said. Lady Lyn just wasn't the type of person to abandon someone in need. I spotted Matthew standing at the back of the group and decided to go say hi. He had to talk to me at some point, right? The other men couldn't get insanely jealous over just a little friendly chat!

"Matthew! It's me, Serra! Remember me?" I asked the thief. He looked at me with a resigned expression. I guess he finally decided to talk to me and get it over with.

"You're a _very _difficult person to forget, Serra." He said. I didn't like the way that sound, but he couldn't have meant it that way, could he? This was my wonderful friend, Matthew! He had to mean that statement in the nicest way possible!

"You're so nice, Matthew!" I giggled. "I missed you too!" I said and grinned happily at him. He looked beyond me at Lady Lyn and the two knights. I turned around to hear Lyn mention something about the dark arts. I realized that I had been correct, as always, in supposing that we were helping the boy. Then I noticed what Matthew had been staring at. A beautiful, blonde woman was approaching our mercenary legion. By the look of her clothes I saw that she was a servant of Elimine also. A feeling of dread grew in me at the thought of having such competition for the title of prettiest girl in our small army. I walked over to learn about this newcomer. When I was back up with Lady Lyn, the new priestess was attacking a nearby shaman. '_Oh no!__ She must be really skilled to be able to use light magic already!_' I thought to myself. The situation was growing decidedly worse.

-=: ERK'S POV :=-

Whilst Serra had been talking to Matthew, I had been listening to the conversation between Lady Lyndis and the two strangers. The strange looking boy with the kidnapped sister was named Nils and the Elimine priestess was, strangely enough, Lucius. I thought it was an odd name for such a pretty girl but decided not to say anything on the issue. I also could've sworn that I heard her say she was a monk but my ears must have been deceiving me. I was roused out of my thoughts by flute music. I turned towards the sound and saw the boy, Nils, was playing for Lucius.

"Erk!" Arianna called, coming up beside me. "You and Lucius need to head for that village over there!" she commanded and pointed at a small town near some mountains. A few enemies were in the way, but nothing I couldn't take. I walked up to the blonde girl and introduced myself.

"Hello. My name is Erk. I'm an anima mage." I said and bowed. "You are Lucius, aren't you? Or would you rather me call you by a nickname like Lucy since it sounds more feminine?" I asked. Lucius gave me an odd look almost as if she thought I had insulted her in some way.

"No, Lucius is my name and Lucius I would like to be called." She told me in a light voice laced with traces of irritation. I really couldn't see what I had said wrong. Maybe she didn't want to be feminine? I found that rather odd for such a lovely female.

"Alright then, Lucius, let me be frank." I began. She gave me another odd look.

"Frank?" she asked, confused. "I thought your name was Erk?" I almost sighed at her idiocy. Trust the pretty one to be a ditz.

"I meant be frank in telling you something." I elaborated. She blushed and gave a small 'oh'. I decided to say what I had been starting to say. "Not to be rude, but I really don't think a frail woman like yourself should fight in this battle. I think it would be better if you just healed for now." I suggested. She gave me a glare of a thousand curses and deaths.

"Are you making fun of me?" she demanded. "Are you mocking me just because I'm soft looking by calling me a woman? Is that what the whole 'Lucy' thing was about? I can't help if I look a little girly! And monks can't use heal staves, moron." she told me scathingly. For a priestess of Elimine, she really was quite short-tempered and rude.

"Look, Goldie Locks-" I started to reply but then stopped short as something she said hit me like a ton of Fire books. "M-monk? You are a…monk? You are a….MAN!?" I exclaimed and stared at her-he-IT with the most shocked expression of my life. He glared at me once more and nodded his head vigorously. I felt my face drain of all color only to turn a strong shade of burning red a second later. "My-my apologies, La-Lord Monk." I stuttered and bowed quickly. His blue eyes continued to glare at me with cold fire but he answered politely.

"Quite alright, Sir Erk." he stiffly replied. Then he returned the bow half-heartedly. "Sadly, it happens often. Although I don't believe any one has called me 'Goldie Locks' before." He commented and my face flamed a second time.

"Well, we should probably get hurrying over to that village." I said and stumbled off in its direction. The monk followed behind me, still fuming with holy rage.

-=: SERRA'S POV :=-

Heal, heal, heal! That's all I get to do around here! You'd think I was a cleric or something! Wait, I am. Anyways, we FINALLY fought our way to the leader of this group of evil peoples. Erk had gone to the village with the blonde priestess to my utter dismay. What if he became so infatuated with her that he forgot about me? I still needed an escort after all this Caelin stuff was finished! Not saying that the blonde girl's looks surpassed mine. They were just too close for comfort. But I digress…what was I talking about? Oh, yes, the boss battle! The boss had an unusual name. His name was Heintz. For some reason it made me think of those poisonous vegetables/fruits called tomatoes. After Lyn stabbed him Erk and the blonde woman returned from the village. Erk was blushing and the priestess looked a little red in the face herself. I grew very suspicious and irritated. What was my escort doing with another woman!? Not that I was jealous. I glared at Erk as we entered the fortress to look for the boy's, Nils', sister.

"Nils! Where's your sister?" Lyn asked as we wandered down the dark halls. Nils' eyes darted quickly around searching anxiously for a sign of his sibling.

"Ninian! Ninian…" He called desperately. "She's not here. Why? Where could she be?" he asked the anguish strong in his voice. I pitied the boy as Kent told Lyn about spotting a group of men riding south, but I had problems of my own. I had a disloyal escort! I glared at Erk again as he walked up beside me. He glanced at me with confusion etched on his face and looked ready to say something when a voice sounded from behind us.

"Are you looking for this girl here?" said a person and a man with red hair and blue clothing walked towards us carrying a woman that was undoubtedly Nils' sister. She was wearing dancer's clothing and had similar hair color to Nils. For some reason I got a strong feeling of foreshadowing when I saw the man.

"Ninian! Ninian!" Nils yelled and ran to inspect his sister who's eyes were closed.

"She'll be fine. She just lost consciousness." the man reassured him. Lyn looked at the man with distrust.

"Who are you?" she asked him. The man handed Ninian to Kent (Sain tried to take her but Kent knocked him out of the way) and gave Lady Lyn a small bow.

"I'm Eliwood, of Pherae. My father is the marquess." Lord Eliwood said and then looked to us, obviously waiting for an introduction.

"The marquess' son." Lyn said and I thought I heard Erk mutter something about 'RDOO's and their many appearances' but when I looked at him his mouth was shut and he was looking at me. When he saw my glance he gestured at the outside and made a hand motion of talking. I nodded and followed him out of the fortress as Lady Lyn shared her story with Lord Eliwood. Once we were outside, Erk turned to me with a puzzled expression.

"What were those glares for?" he asked. I suddenly remembered why I had been so angry before Lord Eliwood's appearance. Strange that I'd forget that soon. Maybe the Head Priestess' claims of me being a 'worthless airhead' had some truth to them.

"You know what they were for!" I told him hotly and his gaze became even more confused and a bit aggravated.

"No, I don't." he replied. "Would you care to explain?" he asked with an edge in his voice that I just didn't like. I could feel my face growing hot with anger.

"Don't play innocent! You both came back from that village blushing! I know what you and that girl did! She should be ashamed doing that when she's a priestess and you should be ashamed because you don't hardly know her!" I screamed at him. He blinked a few times and then got a very foreign emotion on his face. I couldn't quite place what it was, but it looked like a cross between embarrassment and confusion.

"I didn't do…_that_!" he said, his voice rising with each word. "We just went to the village and THAT'S ALL!" he yelled at me. I felt my face contorting into a look of complete rage.

"**LOOK ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE AND TELL ME YOU DIDN'T KISS HER!!!**" I screeched at him and put my face so close to his that our noses almost touched. I looked into his eyes and tried to see if he was telling the truth but kept being distracted by how lovely his eyes were and how handsome he was up close. I mentally shook myself and watched for his reaction to my accusation. It was not one I would have expected.

(ErkxSerra fans: =expectant inhale=)

"K-kiss her!?" he stuttered and, surprisingly, didn't back away so our faces continued to be a speck apart. "You mean THAT'S what you thought we did!?"

"Yes! What did you think I thought you did?" I asked and I became mysteriously embarrassed.

"I thought you thought that me and her…well…you know…" he trailed off and refused to meet my eye again.

"PERVERT!" I screamed and slapped him across the face. "Don't think such dirty thoughts! And you had BETTER not have done that with her!!!" I ranted and stepped back. He rubbed his cheek and glared at me with a grumpy look.

(ErkxSerra fans: =disappointed exhale=)

"I wouldn't do that anyways with her! Because, as you have failed to notice, she is actually a-" he started but I didn't want to hear anymore from him.

"DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD!" I screamed over my shoulder as I stormed back into the fortress. For some reason, the thought of him and that pretty girl kissing infuriated me. It really shouldn't have. I mean, he wasn't my boyfriend or anything! Can servants of Elimine even have boyfriends? As I drew near to the group, I saw that Lord Eliwood had already left. Lyn looked at me with concern.

"Is something wrong, Serra? We heard screaming." she said. I almost giggled at the mental image of the members of this legion rushing out to save me only to find me with my face so close to Erk's. It would have served that priestess, Lucy, I think her name was, right.

"Oh, it was just a minor disagreement between me and my servant." I explained. Lyn gave me a look but then we turned as the bard's sister gave a wail of distress.

"Oh…" Ninian cried softly.

"What's wrong, Ninian?" Nils asked worridly. Ninian was looking at a chain that was hanging around her neck.

"I've lost my ring." she said sadly and dropped the gold chain. Nils suddenly looked very upset again.

"Your ring?" Lyn questioned and I got the feeling that if Erk was there he would have tore out his hair at what sounded like yet another RDOO, whatever they were. This thought led me to wondering just where Erk had gotten to. I had a moment of horror at the thought that he might have gone off with Lucy, but then I noticed her talking to Sain. She looked quite frustrated about something and Sain looked like he was being very persistent. Just then I noticed Erk walk into the hallway from the corner of my eye. I quickly walked up to Matthew and started a conversation so I wouldn't have to talk to Erk again.

-=: ERK'S POV :=-

After the crazy cleric slapped me I was not keen to return to the group. I wandered around outside for a few moments before reentering the fortress. When I came to the hallway where my temporary group was talking I saw Serra spot me and quickly run over to Matthew. As I didn't want to talk to her anyways, I didn't take much offense to that. Instead I went to save Lucius from his pursuer.

"I swear I'm not a girl! Now please, don't bother me anymore!" Lucius was telling Sain in an exasperated voice. Sain just kept grinning stupidly.

"Now, now oh beauty of gold and sapphire!" he said and grabbed Lucius' hands in his own. "Do not be so modest! You are quite feminine! I have never seen such beauty in a priestess!" I felt a flash of anger at that statement. Then why did he flirt with Serra so much? But at least maybe this meant he would leave Serra alone from now on. It would be difficult to get Serra to Ostia if Sain followed to flirt with her. Seriously, that was my only reason for being glad about him leaving her alone. I mean it! Why are you looking at me like that?

"Excuse me, Sain." I interrupted as Lucius looked ready to send Saint to meet his maker. "I hate to be a bother, but I need to talk to _MONK_ Lucius for a moment. _He_ and I were discussing something earlier." I lied and made sure to put emphasis on the words that told Lucius' gender. Sain slowly got the picture.

"You mean…she…is….he?" he asked in shock. Lucius gave an outraged shriek.

"**THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES!!!**" the monk shouted at Sain. Sain very quickly let go of Lucius' hands and hurried off to Lady Lyndis' side. Lucius sighed and turned to me with a small smile. "Thank you very much." he said in his most grateful tone.

"Eh, it was nothing. I hope it makes up for earlier." I answered and gave a shrug. I glanced sideways to see Serra watching me and Lucius with eyes that could rival a hawk's before it swooped down on its prey. "I have to have a chat with someone. Good day, Lord Monk." I said and strode towards Serra. She quickly turned her head and pretended to not have been watching me.

"There's no turning back now. Let's ride!" Lady Lyn was saying as I drew near and then everyone in the group rushed off. Everyone, that is, except Serra and I. Serra pretended to be starting to walk off but I could tell she had fallen behind on purpose.

"Serra." I said and she stopped walking. She slowly turned to me with a calm face.

"Yes?" she asked in a deceptively light voice.

"There is nothing between me and Lucius." I stated as perfectly clear as possible. "As I was saying before, Lucius is a-"

Serra cut me off. "A beautiful woman? A fair maiden? An example of how I should be, but am not?" She said with tears springing to her eyes.

"No, Lucius is a-" I tried again but it just made her more upset.

"I don't need to hear it! Just leave with your precious Lucy! I don't need an escort anyways!" she cried and turned quickly to run out of the room. I stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Why must you always be so difficult?" I demanded and rubbed my head wearily. She swiped at her wet eyes.

"Why must you always be so mean!?' she shot back. I shook my head in defeat and started walking towards the exit.

"Come on, Miss Devil Cleric." I told her. "We've fallen far behind the group." She walked silently behind me until we caught up with our team that had been waiting for us a little ways up a road. Then we all rushed off in pursuit of this 'Black Fang' and a stupid little ring. Sometimes I _really_ question this group's motives.

-=: OUTER POV :=-

Somewhere in one of the very many fortresses in the land, a blue haired girl was threatening an ugly man. "If you do not have the children when I return…my hand will deal you the Fang's punishment. Remember that. Bear it closely in your mind." the girl told him and then rode off. On her horse, of course! The man shuddered at the thought of that punishment. He knew what failure meant. Pizza taste-testing for a week! Few had survived the fatal flaws in the making of the pizzas.

'_I must not fail no matter what the cost!_' he told himself and prepared his troops for combat against the approaching legion.

Meanwhile, Lyn's Legion was drawing closer to the fortress. Erk was talking to Matthew about Serra. "You've known her a few years, right?" he was questioning the thief.

"Yes, a few years now." he responded.

"Has she always talked so much?" Erk asked. Matthew pondered for a moment.

"Well, she shut up once."

"Really?"

"Yeah, happiest five seconds of my life!"

As the two men laughed loudly Serra glanced at them with a suspicious gleam in her eye. She had a strong feeling that they were talking about her and she didn't like it. She watched them as Lyn's Legion arrived at the fortress.

"I believe they went in here." Lyn said as she looked around the small building. Erk hyperventilated from overdose of RDOO.

"Milady, are you really going in there to get the ring back?" Nils asked. Erk choked at yet another RDOO.

"No, we're going in there to use their toilet." Erk softly said in a sarcastic voice. The only ones that could hear him were Matthew and Wil, though. They both chuckled quietly causing Kent to give them discouraging looks.

"Yes, we are." Lyn answered the bard. Nils looked anxiously around the building.

"But this is their stronghold! They're bound to be well defended, not to mention well armed!" Nils exclaimed causing Erk to black out.

"You just _did_ mention it." Matthew said driving Wil into loud laughter. Kent gave them both disapproving glares that they ignored. Serra shook her head at the stupidity and helped Erk pick himself back off the ground. Lyn's Legion swept through the fortress like a hurricane through Florida. The ugly man, Beyard, was soon very nervous.

"How? This can't be…they should be dead! Everyone! Get in there and finish them! This is our final chance!" he ordered but realized that he was doomed. Rather than be captured by the enemy, he walked to the back of the room and opened the oven. He pulled out the Black Fang's kitchen's latest pizza failure. Beyard readied himself then stuffed a piece in his mouth and chewed, holding his nose the whole time. He swallowed it with a disgusted shudder and waited for either death by mutant pizza or death by enemy warriors. The enemy got to him first. "I mustn't fail…I cannot fail. The consequences are too-" he began but was cut off by a rather violent lurch in his stomach. He tried to straighten himself and fight but before he could he was tied up. "Earghh…" he grunted as the legion shoved him against a wall. "Aaah…no…I…I cannot…" he muttered.

"Give us the ring! And swear us this oath…you must promise to leave these two alone. If I have your vow, I'll spare your life…" Lyn told him but it was too late for poor, ugly Beyard.

"Failure…means death…" he murmured and fell limp. Lyn examined his face closely and saw splotches of tomato sauce around his mouth.

"What!? Poison? He took his own life…" she said and Erk fell to the ground unconscious once more.

"Oh, come on!" Serra said and tried to pull him back up as Kent told Lyn his views on the enemy.

"Too…much…obviousness…" Erk strained to say as he was pulled back to his feet.

"Keep it together, Erky." she told him as he shook his head to rid it of the dizziness. "We're close to Caelin!" Serra said happily. The sooner it was over the sooner she could get to Ostia. It was really starting to look good to her compared to the crazy Caelin folk.

"Not close enough." Erk said as his eyes finally focused right and the world stopped spinning. But then he heard Lyn say something as they prepared to leave the fortress and head on towards Caelin.

"That Black Fang seems very dangerous…" Lyn stated and walked out the front door. Erk collapsed back to the ground and Serra gave a loud mix between a shriek and a sigh.

"Oh the obviousness…" Erk said in a pained voice. Serra hung her head and prayed to Elimine that Lyn wouldn't say anything obvious for the rest of the journey. Her hopes were in vain as you will find out but that's not till the next chapter. For the end of this chapter, Serra requests help from Matthew and together they drag Erk to his feet and out the door. Then the legion heads down the road to finally arrive in Caelin.

"Next stop is Caelin!" Lyn shouted happily. Then a loud thump echoed around the surrounding area.

"**NOT AGAIN, ERKY!!!**" Serra's screeches echoed soon after.

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Arianna: Wow! There were some ErkxSerra moments! And they seem awfully possessive of each other, huh? 'Course, there can't be too much really romance stuff until Eliwood's story and the start of support conversations.

ErkxSerra fans: We'll take what we can get for now.

Arianna: Now, the moment you've all been waiting for, review responses!

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**REVIEW RESPONSES**

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:Ryzuki:

With Raven it's repossessioning. :D Although that's not even a word… Glad to cheer someone up. :) Cheering other people up cheers me up. Thanks for the review!

:The Story Master 125:

Please do stop them or I wouldn't have a story! Dead characters do not make for a good fanfic. Thanks for the review!

:GloomDrifter:

Your review had a comment in it that I really take to heart, for some strange reason of my own. :D Thanks for the review!

:Inferno-Hero:

I am going to continue it for Eliwood's. I might have a few moments of ErkxPriscilla just for suspense and such but I am a ErkxSerra fan and this is a ExS story so it will be them who get together in the end. I'm flattered that you're still reading it even though you love ExP. :D Thanks for the reviews!

:WildfireDreams:

Erk is one of my favorite characters, too. :D Thanks for the review!

:potter29vo:

I think there was a good bit of Serra's POV in this one. I find Erk more fun to write, though, because he's so sarcastic but I'll try not to leave Serra out in the future. Now Serra's jealous of Lucius of all people. Oo; Thanks for the review!

:Genocideking Archfiend:

Wowsers, have a long review cookie!

Erk: Where do you keep getting all these cookies from?

Mr. Grumpy Erk, concerned about me?

Erk: HAHAHA! That was a good one! =wipes tears of laughter from eyes=

Demons are good. So are demonesses. The RDOO just seem to grow and grow. Poor Erk will probably never get a waking moment for the rest of Lyn's Story with all her comments. Erk and Serra seem oblivious to each other's concern for the other. Erk commented on Lucius' hair but didn't seem too interested in Nils' flute playing. Of course, he didn't have to hear it too often and Nils hasn't played for him yet so he probably will get annoyed with it at some point. :) I don't think Erk can tell how funny he is because he keeps most of his thoughts to himself. If he said more of them out loud he'd probably realize his inner comic eventually.

Latisha: This is turning into a character discussion.

So, I like discussing characters. Especially Erky. :D But I really should be moving on, so let me wrap this response up. The pizza is being tested by lackies who fail their missions. And I'll make sure Jaffar remembers the sausage. :) Thanks for the long and in-depth review! They're the kind of reviews I appreciate the most.

:SweetMisery430:

Yes, it will go through Eliwood's story, which means this is going to be a LONG fic. But I'm having fun with it, so that's okay. :D Thanks for the review!

:Lord Slasher:

Ugh, homework sucks. It's not fair to have to go to school all day and then have to do work at home too! Thanks for the review!

:Lady Lyndis:

I'll try to keep the work good if it is good. :) Thanks for the review!

:xZero84x:

How did you make that noise? Bwah…no, that's not it…beh? Still not it…. Oh well, that can be your own personal laugh. Thanks for the review!

:Jargonelle:

_"If you know you're right you have to fight for it. Even against Serra."___

That is now on my list of favorite statements I've received in reviews. I found it very funny. :) Thanks for the compliments and the review!

:Scarabsi:

What is mean about 'Lyndis' Losers'? It just means they didn't win!

Lyn: But we _did _win so HA HA!

Hmm….oh well. I'm guessing you were one of the people with the Yaoi fan banners when Wil giggled? KISS SERRA, ERKY!

Erk: I can't until Eliwood's story.

Serra: Are you possibly saying you don't _want_ to kiss me?

Erk: =growing nervous= No, I'm just saying I can't yet!

I'll let them fight that one out. Thanks for the review!

:Lloyd Irving:

I've seen most of those pictures on another site a reviewer told me about but I had not seen some of them so thanks very much for the link. :) The problem isn't how big the pizza is, it's making a pizza that won't poison people. And trying to recapture Nils and Ninian at the same time. It's not an easy life being in the Black Fang…. Thanks for the review!

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Arianna: Well, I've done my damage here! Time to move on to 'Dads and Darlings'! See ya next chapter!

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	6. Chapter Five: Calamity in Caelin

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Arianna: Um, hi, you may not remember me, but I'm the authoress of this story and despite my extreme fatigue from my stressful week I am here to write this chapter.

Eliwood: While listening to 'Veggie Tales' songs.

Arianna: Hey, they're inspiring! 'If my lips ever left my mouth…'

Erk: Sometimes I wonder why I let myself be used as her muse.

Eliwood: Because we didn't get a choice!

Ivan: Umm….what's a muse?

Eliwood: …..

Erk: …..

Latisha: Oh, you poor, poor newbie.

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**DISCLAIMER:** fill this in yourself

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-: ERK'S POV :-

We had finally arrived in Caelin and the end of this nightmare was in sight. My clothes were slightly ruffled and my body a little sore from falling on the ground so much, but other than that I had made it this far in one piece. And so had Serra, which for some reason also mattered to me.

"Look, Arianna! The mountains seem so far away now. We've come such a long way…." Lyn suddenly said.

**THUNK**

Down I went into the dirt of the earthen path. Serra sighed and helped me back up. "Lyn, could you _please_ not do that anymore?" Serra asked Lyndis. Lyn looked at her.

"Do what?" she asked with a confused tone to her voice. Serra began to wave her hands around as she talked and I moved so as not to get thwacked by one of them.

"You know, saying those obvious things that everyone already knows." she told the puzzled swordswoman. Lyn continued to look confused but nodded her head and continued on. I brushed my clothes off and picked up my Fire tome off the ground. I wasn't sure how many more RDOOs I could take! As we began walking once more I moved up beside Serra.

"Thank you." I said shortly and tried to hurry off, but she caught me before I could make my getaway.

"For what?" she asked and I looked straight ahead while answering her.

"For helping me." I explained, hoping it would suffice. But of course, it did not. Serra continued to press on.

"Helping you with what?" she persisted. I knew she knew that I knew that she knew what I meant and just wanted to hear me say it out loud.

"Helping me up all those times." I replied. She smiled slightly at her small, personal victory.

"An escort shouldn't be so affected by just a few obvious words! Really, Erk, you're so weak." she said snobbily and then rushed off to talk to Ninian leaving me to gape after her. What was she insulting me for? What had I done to her? And how was _I_ weak? I fumed silently and became rather grumpy.

"Cheer up, Lyn." Florina was saying in her small voice. "If they see you looking so sad, the entire company will lose heart." I, for one, would actually be better off if Lyn wasn't so darn happy all the time. What did this group think this was, a trip to the circus? Didn't they realize that we were plunging right into danger? My internal grumbling came to a sudden halt as Nils said something that shook me from my thoughts.

"Lyn…danger approaches…" Nils said in an anxious voice. Lyn, however, hadn't been able to hear him because a certain cleric had been gabbing in her ear at the time.

"What did you say?" Lyn asked him. Sain peered out into the distance.

"I don't see anything. Are you sure?' he said. Nils nodded his head.

"I feel it, too. I'm sure of it." Ninian told him. Then she suddenly gasped. "Ah! Milady, don't move!" she screamed at Lyn. Lyn just stared at her blankly.

"Hm?" she said but soon realized what the fuss was about as an arrow went whizzing by her head. She walked over to where it landed and picked it up off the ground to examine it. "What in-where did this bolt come from?" I was going to explain to her that it was not a lightning bolt just because it came from the sky, it was an arrow, but then Kent yelled something in alarm. When Kent is calm, I'm usually nervous. When Kent is agitated, I'm usually afraid. But when Kent is alarmed, I'm tremulous and ready to run for my life. Anyways, back to what Kent yelled….

"They have a ballista!" Kent yelled in alarm. I tried to make a run for it but Dorcas grabbed me by my cape. Lyn turned to Kent.

"What is a ballista?" Lyn asked the knight as I struggled to escape, but a mage just can't match the raw strength of an axe-fighter so I finally settled for pulling my cape back from his grasp and 'humph'ing. Then I crossed my arms and stood sulking as Kent explained to Lyn about what she had been attacked by.

"It's a weapon designed for long-distance attacks. Only archers can use them, but they can be devastating." Kent told her in a grave voice. I looked at Wil as the conversation continued and tried to picture him being devastating and promptly burst out laughing. Wil glared at me but as he began to say something Lyn asked him a question.

"Wil, can you use a ballista?" she asked him. Wil thought about it for a moment.

"I've never tried, but…." he said slowly. I thought that if he had never tried now was not a good time to try it. "It's just a really big bow, right?" Wil continued and I became very worried because he just did not sound reassuring. "I should be able to figure it out." Wil finally said and I thought anything that includes 'should be able to' should not be used in an important battle like this.

"All we can ask is that you try…" Lyn told him. I thought we could ask for a lot more like that he actually could get it to work and hit the enemy instead of us. Lyn turned towards the battlefield. Wil took some deep breaths and his face looked a little pale. This was a lot of pressure to put on one lone archer, and I just had to make it worse. I walked up beside him and whispered things to him as Matthew told Lyn and Arianna how he was going to bail out of this fight because it looked like it would be dangerous.

"Remember Wil, this whole thing is riding on you. Our lives depend on if you can fire that ballista properly or not. If you hit us instead of the enemy, we'll lose for sure." I told him. I don't know exactly why I was feeling so spiteful. Maybe it was because of the things Serra had said to me earlier and WiI just ended up the one I took my anger out on. Wil glared at me and gripped his bow tightly.

"I know that, thank you very much, _Erk_." he replied gruffly putting a certain angry emphasis on my name. "Maybe we should get going, hm?" he suggested and I whirled around to see that everyone had already taken off. Wil and I ran into battle, him heading for the ballista and I heading for the nearest light magic user. As the battle progressed the enemy archer on the ballista was taken down and Wil took his place.

-: WIL'S POV :-

_What does this lever do? Hmm…think, Wil, think. We learned about how to use these in one of those archer classes. Or was that the day I accidentally locked myself in the outhouse and missed class? Hm…right lever….it turned! Alright, now aim, pull this, and….**FIRE!**_

-: OUTER POV :-

An arrow went rocketing from the ballista towards an enemy brigand in a matter of seconds. But in those few seconds, Erk had already defeated the brigand and so the arrow was going straight towards him. He froze and watched as death came flying towards him. In an instant it would be over. Memories flashed through his head. His first Fire spell, getting that fluffy teddy bear when he turned six, going to school that one day in a pink, filly dress because Lady Louise swore it was 'all the rage in Etruria'. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for the impact. When it finally hit, it pounded into his right side and he was knocked off his feet. '_But wait…the arrow was coming straight at me, not at my right side. And I'm not feeling as much pain as I thought I would._' He slowly opened his eyes to find himself looking straight into Serra's face. As he became more aware of his surroundings he realized that Serra was on top of him. He gave a startled shout and jumped to his feet.

"What were you doing!?" he yelled at her as she pushed herself to her feet and brushed off her dress. She took a deep breath.

"**SAVING YOUR LIFE!!!**" she screeched at him so loud that birds flew out of the woods. "**You just stood there like an _idiot _and were just going to let that arrow hit you!!!**" she screamed and then burst into tears. Erk gaped at her in a stunned sort of way. Then he came back to his senses and realized she was crying. He got close to her and started patted her back in a brotherly sort of way.

"Umm…..it's okay, I'm fine. Nothing to get upset about." he told her nervously. He didn't have much experience with crying girls. Actually, he had _no_ experience. Serra sniffed a couple times and wiped at her eyes.

"I wann't cryin'." she sniffled and Erk almost fell over. She got back to her feet and picked her staff up off the ground. She cleared her throat. "We better get going, Erky. The others are probably already fighting the leader of this group of thugs!" She took off running towards the others and didn't even look back. Erk stood staring after her a few seconds, confused by what just happened.

'_She…acts like she hates me…but then she saved me. And she was crying because I almost got hurt. And she was jealous when she thought I had been with Lucius. Is it possible…she….?_' Erk thought to himself. Then he slapped himself hard in the head. "No way!" he said aloud and then took off after Serra.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

We defeated the boss and were now having a group meeting to decide our next course of action. Well, actually, everyone but me and Erk were having a group meeting. I was too deep in thought to join the conversation, and Erk had run off somewhere. It was SO stupid of me to cry like that!!! Erk probably thinks that I LIKE him or something now to cry over him like that! And I DON'T like him! I can't. After he gets me to Ostia, it's goodbye forever. And what about my vows!? It's not like I'd ever be able to marry him anyways! But I feel us getting closer as this goes on, and I'm afraid that when the time comes I won't be able to say farewell. Oh, what is a beautiful, charming, intelligent, fashionable girl like me to do!?

-: ERK'S POV :-

"**YOU CAN _NOT_ BE SERIOUS!!!**" I shouted at Wil who had been the one unlucky enough to have to tell me the bad news. "**WE CAME _ALL_ THIS WAY, AND NOW WE'RE GOING BACK TO _KATHELET_!?**" I ranted. Wil just grinned in a 'what can you do?' sort of way.

"Well, we really need the help from Lord Eliwood if we're gonna make it to Castle Caelin safely." he explained to me. I just fumed in my head. This meant it would be even longer before I could complete my mission and return to Etruria! And when I thought we were _finally_ so close! I turned sharply and took off for the tents leaving Wil behind. I just couldn't take the cheerful archer right then when I was so mad. I decided to go on a walk through the woods to clear my head instead of going back to camp where I would just have to hear everyone talking about how we were going back to Kathelet.

"**THIS IS SO STUPID!**" I yelled into the empty, dark forest. At least, I thought it was empty, but then a voice answered me.

"Well, I don't think it's stupid. If we don't get help we would never make it to Castle Caelin safely and then all our hard work would be for naught. It's better to be alive and mad than dead, hm?" said a certain blonde monk as he walked out of the darkness and moved into the moonlight of the small clearing I had ended up in. I glared at him. I really don't like logical speeches, especially ones from gender confused monks.

"Well, it's all fine and dandy for _you_, isn't it? You don't have anywhere to go after this ordeal is over, so what do you care how long it takes?" I snapped at Lucius. He sat down in the grass and looked up at me with a slight smile.

"And where do you have to go that is so important? Getting that cleric girl to Ostia? Do you want to be rid of her that much?" he asked. I crossed my arms. This girl…guy…_thing_ was starting to bug me.

"Hmph. What are you getting at?" I huffed. Lucius picked a daisy and looked down at his fingers as he began to twirl it between them.

"I'm just saying that you seem to be a little close to your employer. Are you prepared for when you two have to part?" he questioned and looked up with clear, azure eyes at me and I strangely had a flashback to the time when I almost drowned because Lord Pent decided to teach me how to swim. I don't think throwing me off the docks with weights attached to my clothing was a very good way to do it but that's Lord Pent for you. Then I finally realized that Lucius had asked me a question.

"Close!? To that devil!? Sorry, but you must be imagining things." I replied angrily. But those words for some reason made me feel sad. Lucius got to his feet and brushed the stray bits of grass off of his clothes and started walking back to camp.

"Well, whatever you say, then. The others should have dinner ready by now so I'm heading back. Goodbye!" the monk called over his shoulder and then he was gone. I stayed in the clearing awhile longer thinking about…..things.

-: OUTER POV :-

The next morning Lyn's Legion prepared to enter Castle Caelin territory. Again. They're little talk with Eliwood had gone well so they were heading back to Caelin. The fog was thick and Sain entertained himself for a good 8 minutes by sticking his hand out and back watching it disappear and reappear. "All right, everyone! Let's get going!" Lyn said happily as she walked a few feet in front of the rest of the team. Kent was pointing out the best way to get there and most of the legion was in high spirits. Well, most….

"**STOP POKING ME!!!**" Serra screeched at Matthew and he looked at her with a puzzled face.

"Poking you? My dear Serra, I have not lain a hand on you all morning." he told her and she glared at him.

"You liar! That's the 23rd time you've poked me this morning!" she screamed at the thief. "If you do it one more time, I'm bashing your head in with my mend staff!" she threatened and then whirled back around. Matthew grinned devilishly and got ready to poke her again in the back of the head, but just as he began to jab his finger forward, someone grabbed his hand. Matthew looked to see who the owner of the hand was and found himself facing a very scary glare. Matthew gave the mage a bemused smile.

"Oh, c'mon, Erk! I was bored!" he told Erk but the purple-haired young man just continued to glare until Matthew removed his hand from Erk's grasp and walked off to find another victim. Erk turned around to find that Serra was walking backwards so as to look at him curiously.

"What is it?" he asked in a bored tone.

Serra thanked her escort. "Thanks for stopping him. Some men have NO idea how to treat a proper lady like myself!" Erk just nodded and then strolled off to talk to Kent. Serra turned back around and sighed deeply. '_So that's how it's gonna be, huh? Well, it will make it easier when we get to Ostia._' she thought sadly.

"Kent, is that a person approaching?" Erk said alarmed as a large figure became visible through the fog. Kent looked up and gasped.

"So you've come…" said the figure and it moved close enough that they could see that the figure was a bald man that by the looks of his armor was a General.

"Who that?" Sain said from behind Kent and he squinted his eyes to make it out. "Aah!" Sain yelled when he realized who it was and fell off his horse in fright.

"You! You're…Lord Wallace!" Kent shouted with wide eyes.

"No, he's Mr. Clean…" Erk muttered sarcastically. Erk looked at the man and wondered why Kent would be so afraid of such an old geezer. He didn't look too threatening standing there with his bald head glistening in the early morning light. Erk was also not too threatened by someone who wheezed everytime they took a step.

"Kent, who is this?" Lyn asked as she walked up to inspect the stranger. Erk could see that a conversation was coming with a very possible chance of a RDOO so he turned around and hurried back with the rest of the group. But that becomes a rather difficult thing when it's foggy out so he stuck his hands out in front of him to make sure he didn't run into a tree, or worse, Rath's horse's rear-end, and kept walking. Eventually his hands hit something soft. Something soft and warm. Something soft and warm and round. Something soft and warm and round that was attached to something that could scream really, really loud.

"**EEEEEEEEEEK! ERK, YOU PERVERT!!!!**" Serra shrieked at the mage who had quickly withdrawed his hands when he realized what they had been touching.

"Sorry! I couldn't see because of the fog and-" the flustered anima user tried to explain but Serra couldn't hear anything over her own screams.

"**NEVER, _EVER_ touch me there AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME, ERK!?**" she demanded and he nodded his head furiously. Serra's red face glowed through the fog and she held her staff at ready incase Erk tried something like that again. The poor purple-haired young man was saved from further hopeless argument when Sain called for them.

"O beauteous priestess and noble mage, head this way for we are now heading into yon battle!" Sain said and the two headed towards the sound of his voice to join the battle to get to Castle Caelin.

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Sain: Naughty, naughty Erk!

Erk: IT WAS AN _ACCIDENT_! There was a lot of fog and I couldn't see!

Sain: Suuuuure. :D

Arianna: Okay, we're gonna do this ending thing a different way. Instead of review responses we're gonna have answers to questions, character notes, and thank yous for reviews.

Eliwood: That sounds confusing….

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**Q&A**

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Canas: I'm here to answer all your questions!

:Seventh Sage: Are-a-fen? Really? How does that work, though?

Canas: Like this. Araphen. Ar-are a-a phen-fen. Thank you for your question.

:Dove-chan: I thought Ninian and Nils had red eyes.

Canas: You must have a better memory then Arianna because Vaida did say that in the game, but in Arianna's opinion their eyes are brownish red. Thank you for your question.

:Genocide Archfiend: What is with Lycians and RDOO's? How many countless times he has been mistaken for a woman? Was someone eating fries when they thought up Heintz's character? I mean seriously, was the guy looking at Heintz ketchup bottle when he should've been thinking of a name for the guy? Do Troubadours have the same oath of chastity as the servants of Elimine? Anyways, since Lyn story is almost at an end are u going to pick up from the beginning of Eliwood's story or at the start of Chapter two since that's when Serra comes back into the story? Are u going to write about the rest of Serra and Erk trip to Ostia before going into Eliwood's story?

Canas: What an inquisitive person! :) I'm not sure why Lycians seem to enjoy the RDOO's. Some strange culture thing, I suppose. Lucius recently told me the count is 6,781,231. What are these…fries? And what's ketchup? Troubadors most likely don't have vows, but I'll have to ask Priscilla to find out for sure. After Erk escorts Serra to Ostia the story will talk some about Erk back in Etruria and when he has to escort Priscilla then it will go to where Serra comes back in. Yes, the rest of the trip to Ostia will be included. Thank you for your questions.

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Canas: Ask a question and get an answer from your favorite shaman!

Latisha: Yeah, whatever. Moving on.

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**Thank You!**

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**BIG THANKS TO:** potter29vo, Ice Angel Mina, Seventh Sage, Dove-chan, Inferno-Hero, WildfireDreams, SweetMisery430, Kirtar General of the Avens, SkyFireZero, Genocideking Archfiend, Lemurian-Girl, Bloody-Youkai, and Ragnarok -legend!

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**CHARACTER NOTES**

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Erk: Still grouchy about his position and prone to sarcasm. He seems to be developing some feelings for Serra, though. :) Which is good, because otherwise I don't have a story.

Serra: Confused about how Erk is acting towards her, but he's also confused about how she acts towards him.

Wil: He's been picked on a few times but I swear that will change soon. I'm planning on Erk and Wil to become friends.

Sain: A flirt. As always. He speaks rather poetically most times.

Kent: Very serious and jealous of Rath. Serra and Kent don't get along.

Rath: The ladies' man, hehe. Acts a little _too_ noble and manly, especially towards Lady Lyndis.

Florina: Shy and quiet. Hasn't been in the story much.

Dorcas: This poor guy has been in even less times.

Lucius: The advisor of the group.

Arianna: Uh…..me. Do I really need to say anymore?

Lyn: Perky and has a lot of 'Random Displays of Obviousness'.

Matthew: The jokester and trickster, but kind and helpful.

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Arianna: Okay, that's it! See ya for now!

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	7. Chapter Six: Goodbye for Now

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Arianna: nurses bite wounds

Eliwood: What happened to you?

Arianna: I got in a fight with my sister over a bag of candy. She won.

Latisha: She _bit_ you!?

Arianna: Uhhh…yep.

Latisha: O.O

Arianna: Okay, here it goes. I'm attempting to get through this whole chapter aided only by a cup of tea and a tootsie roll.

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ANNOUNCEMENT: the next chapter of 'Fire Emblem Idol' is up on my site!

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**DISCLAIMER:** The squeegee owns it, not me. The squeegee owns allllll.

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-: SERRA'S POV :-

As Wallace fought General Eagler my mind wandered. I know I should have been worried about whether or not Wallace would beat Eagler but it was axe against lance so I really wasn't too stressed. For some reason my thoughts turned to memories of the first romance novel I read. I was eight years old at the time and it fascinated me how two people could care for each other so much. I remember I ran around the convent the rest of the day telling all the other girls about this wonderful thing called 'love'. One of the older girls made me cry when she told me I would never be able to fall in love because I took a vow of chastity. I cried the rest of the evening. It wasn't until I was older I realized that I could fall in love, I just could never marry or…..you know.

"The final battle is approaching!" Lyn's voice suddenly rang out and I snapped back to reality in time to see Erk hit the ground. I shook my head. It's strange the things you remember at the weirdest times. I walked over to Erk and pulled him up. He mumbled a 'thanks' and walked over to some of the guys. He must've still been embarrassed about what happened earlier. I ignored the feeling I got when he just brushed me off and I looked ahead as we began our way on the final stretch to Caelin.

-: ERK'S POV :-

I did _not _do that on purpose! How could she not realize that!? Like I would do something like that on _purpose_! I've never been that type of guy. But because of our little 'collision', if you will, I couldn't even look her in the face. The legion had finally gotten to Caelin and we were remarkably silent as we mentally readied ourselves for the upcoming battle.

"Lady Lyndis, you should be able to see Castle Caelin once we pass these mountains." Kent stated, as if we didn't realize that. I prepared myself for the obviousness that was sure to come so I wouldn't be constantly falling down. And also so Serra wouldn't have to help me back up…..

"Grandfather….I'll be with you soon." Lyn said softly and looked wistfully towards the horizon.

"Everything rests on this next battle." Kent said gravely.

"Lundgren will not be receiving the reinforcements he expected. He'll move against us with everything he has soon." Sain warned. Lyn's face grew defiant.

"Let him come! Let them all come! I will not be turned away!" she declared. The general mood of the group was making me want to either hurl or crack a sarcastic remark. I decided on the sarcasm.

"Don't worry, if you lose, they won't turn you away, they'll kill you." I said and Lyn glared at me. She continued her speech with a little more aggression in her voice.

"I will see my grandfather…I've come too far to let anyone stand in my way! This is it, Arianna! This is our final test. My friends, for one last time, lend me your strength!" she said grandly and with that she strode forward, confidently, letting her little band of groupies follow behind, inspired by her pep talk. I trekked lazily along and thought of how Lord Pent was more likely to wear a chicken suit to an important dinner party before I would give Lyn my strength.

-: OUTER POV :-

Meanwhile, in Etruria….

"Are you _sure_ it's a costume party, love?" Louise asked anxiously as she zipped up her husband's chicken suit. He nodded his feathered head.

"I'm positive! The invite said it was a dress up party!" he assured her. Louise checked her painted face in the mirror. She was in a mouse costume and the whiskers just weren't staying on right! Pent took her arm and they headed out the door. As they passed by a small table, a piece of paper fluttered off it and onto the ground. The paper read '_Formal_ Dress Up Party Invite'.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

"Those clouds look bad." Lyn said and I looked up at the bleak sky. "It's going to rain soon. Let's go, Arianna. We should press on while we're still able." I winced as a cold raindrop fell on my nose. This would _so _ruin my hair! I grumbled under my breath as we hurried towards our goal, trying to make it there before the rain fell hard. Of course, we didn't make it there in time and got hit full force by a downpour. The rain made it hard for the others to fight and difficult for all of us to move. I lost one of my lovely, trendy, in-fashion shoes to a particularly large mud hole. It became very difficult to keep up with the group hopping on one foot, so when Sain offered to let me ride on his horse, I gratefully accepted. As he hoisted me up with his usual charming grin in place I got a glimpse of Erk walking along with Lucius. He was glaring at Sain for some reason. I stuck out my tongue at him and settled in behind Sain, wrapping my arms around his waist as the horse began to trot. After a little while the rain let up and allowed us to move forward faster. The clouds were still gray so we practically ran the rest of the way to Castle Caelin. A few skirmishes later we were in front of the gate and Sain helped me slide off his horse. I looked up to see a vicious looking man in heavy armor facing off with Lady Lyndis.

"This is my realm, and you've entered without my permission. You will not leave these lands alive!" he shouted at all of us. I assumed he was Lundgren, the evil great-uncle. Everyone readied for battle. Sain raised his lance as I prepared to do a lot of healing. I watched as Erk made the first move. He attacked with a strong Thunder attack that barely scratched Lundgren. As Lundgren retaliated with a javelin my heart raced. Erk dodged cleanly, though, and slowly my heart returned to normal speed. Kent made the next move and after that the battle blended into a mix of fighting and my healing until the last attack. Lady Lyn gave a loud battle cry and charged her uncle with a Lancereaver. He shifted to block himself but his armor slowed his movements and the quick Lyn stabbed him in the neck.

"Is it…over?" I asked quietly. Matthew, who had at some point moved up beside of me, gave a short nod and then moved forward to watch Lundgren's last moments.

"That annoying little girl…nothing but a savage from Sacae…. The Caelin throne…should be…mine…" he managed to rasp out and then the great general fell. Lyn checked his pulse.

"We've won…." she whispered in disbelief as she withdrew her hand from Lundgren's neck and wiped the blood off on her dress. "At last, I can see my grandfather."

"You are Lady Lyndis, are you not?" a voice said and I suddenly noticed a man approached Lyn. Lyn regarded him with caution, hand on sword.

"Who are you?" she demanded of the man. He gave a bow.

"I am Reissmann, the chancellor-" he said and then I immediately lost interest. Middle aged men who had professions that were big words like 'chancellor' were not too much to listen to. Besides, he had a goofy name. I surveyed the legion critically to check for any injuries I might have missed during the battle. Everyone was a little tired, but there were no gaping wounds in anyone. I nodded slightly in satisfaction and then suddenly tuned back into the Reissmann channel as he mentioned something that actually had to do with me.

"While the lady visits with her grandfather, I shall show you all to your rooms for the night." he said and then bowed to us, although not as low as he had for Lyn, which kinda offended me. I mean, we'd fought (well, I healed) right beside Lyn, didn't we deserve the same amount of respect? I stuffed my indignant thoughts back to whatever part of my mind they'd come from when I realized how exhausted I was. And if I was exhausted, then the others were probably wiped and would not appreciate me holding them all up from their comfy beds to argue about bows. We were led to rooms and as soon as I got in mine and the door was closed I collapsed on my bed and everything went black.

-: OUTER POV :-

Serra was stumbling, half-asleep, down a dark corridor, trying desperately to find the latrines. She wasn't sure of the time but it had to be at least two in the morning. She stopped and while she was trying to remember if she'd spotted any bathrooms on the walk to her room when she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. She whirled around to see Sain's grinning face.

"My dear Lady Serra, this evening a party is being held in honor of our victorious legion and I would be overjoyed if you would attend as my, how should I say, guest." he said in his suave way. I smiled back. A party sounded like a fun sendoff. I was about to reply 'Sure, sounds fun!' when a hand gripped my right shoulder and a rich voice that had become very familiar to me began to speak.

"While that sounds delightful, Sir Sain, I'm afraid Serra and I must decline. We are setting out at first dawn for Ostia in hopes to make it there by sunset. I'm sure the people waiting for her must be very worried by now and I'd hate to make them fret any longer. So, if you'll excuse us, we need to go get our sleep." Erk said in one large breath and then steered a protesting Serra forcefully back to her room leaving Sain to gape speechlessly after them. Once the pair arrived in front of Serra's door she slapped his hand and pulled herself out of his grip.

"What was that for, Erk!?" she screeched and then quickly covered her mouth as she heard her voice echo down the sleeping hallway. She glared at the young mage as he narrowed his eyes.

"You should be more appreciative. I just saved you from getting yourself involved in a relationship that would _never _work out." he said calmly.

"It was just a party! I wasn't agreeing to marry him!" she whispered and yet still managed to sound shrilly. He eyed her in a cocky manner that made her want to smack him.

"Parties can lead to other things…" he practically sniffed and Serra threw up her hands, gave a wordless exclamation, and walked into her room, slamming the door in Erk's face. His face turned a color close to the hue of his hair.

"There's a saying in the teachings of Elimine that says 'Blesseth thou with patience'." Lucius' said softly and Erk turned to see Lucius walking towards him in the dimly lit hallway. His golden hair was glittering in the torchlight and his blue eyes gleamed with something close to mischief. Erk was not in the mood for the monk's mind games.

"Oh yeah? Well Elimine can kisseth my asseth." Erk snapped and stormed back to his room. Lucius, far from growing irritated or angry, just shook his head.

"Another saying in the preachings of Elimine is…" Lucius murmured to himself. "Love can fill thy mind and drain thou of common sense." He padded quietly to his room and wondered why Elimine was so against true love.

-: ERK'S POV :-

The grass was wet with morning dew and my socks were soaked as we walked through fields. The goodbyes at the castle had taken a good lifetime and a half and all the girls had been weepy. I had now been walking with Serra for about twenty minutes. Serra had not said a word to me all morning and the only thing I'd said to her was 'Let's go.' This was all fine by me. It was nice to not have constant chattering in my ear while we traveled. It also gave me time to ponder things. In a few short hours the two of us would be parting, probably for good. In the beginning I would have been thrilled about this. Now, though, as I glanced at her candy pink hair and her bright blue eyes, I felt a sadness and dread fill me. This loud, often obnoxious, spunky cleric had become a part of my life these last couple weeks. And now we were going separate ways and I would be returning to my dull life of tomes and studying. I decided quickly what I had to do. I would have to be so mean and rude that she would fight back with the same and we would say our goodbyes hating each other. It was the only way I could see that would ease the pain. And I sound like some guy in one of those sappy novels Lady Louise reads. It's just not like me to talk about emotional things. But as long as I wasn't talking, I could _think_ of emotional things, right? So we continued on in silence. We passed through forest, river, plain and just about every stinkin' landform that could be fit in between Caelin and Ostia before we finally arrived at the gates. We just stood there for a moment staring up at its tall walls.

"So…" I started awkwardly and Serra glanced over at me. I swallowed and decided it was now or never. "Aren't you glad we didn't stay for that party now?" I said in my best snobby voice. Serra gaped at me for a second as if she was trying to figure out who I was and what I had done with Erk and then her demeanor grew mean. Her eyes closed to furious slits.

"No, I'm NOT! I know you don't like anyone and didn't have any friends in that group but I sure did and I wanted to actually have some fun for once! It would've been nice to talk to them with no fighting going on!" she snapped hotly. My face grew red with the embarrassment of being such a jerk but I changed my expression so the red looked like it derived from anger.

"Friends? Who in that group were your _friends_? Matthew, the one who avoided you? Or how about Lady Lyndis, the one who ignored you?" I drawled and she flinched. I continued on with my best impression of that grouchy guy that works at the meat counter back in Etruria. "Oh, I know, it was your lover Sain, wasn't it?" I said. "You're probably just regretting that you didn't get to visit his room and-"I never got to finish my sentence because just then she slapped me across the face with all the might she had in those thin arms.

"Don't insult my honor as a cleric and a noble servant of Elimine like that!!! I would _never_ do anything along the lines of what you were suggesting! I bid you good day, _sir_, and if you happen to get eaten by a bear on your way back to Etruria it would be all the better for me!" she screamed and then ran through the gates into Ostia. I stared at the ground where she had been standing. Spots of moisture littered the ground. I sighed deeply, reminding myself that it was for her own good. As I turned and started the long journey home I hoped I would never see her again and never have again the feelings I was beginning to feel for her.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

What happened to him!? Where did the Erk I'd come to know gone? That was certainly not the charming Erk I knew saying such rude things to me! Even when Erk did insult somebody he at least did it in a subtle way! He had to be possessed…or hit his head…or…

I stopped and ducked into an alleyway where I couldn't be seen by the crowds bustling by. I put my face in my hands and cried, and as I cried I realized that that had, after all, been Erk. _'I hate him! I hope I never see him again!'_

-: OUTER POV :-

Days passed slowly, morphing into weeks and then on to months. Erk had made it home safely and was once again caught up in his Anima studies. Serra had returned to Ostia Castle and was greeted by smiles and a few disappointed looks. The latter she ignored and she went about her days as an Ostian cleric with a renewed vigor. Only at night when she was almost fast asleep did she see a handsome face framed by purple hair. And only when Erk's eyes began to close, as he fell asleep on his many tomes while studying late into the night, did he remember a cheerful girl with the loud voice and sparkling eyes. They both would then fall into the comfort of sleep, ignoring the pang in their hearts.

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Arianna: YAY! I'm done! I know this chapter had more drama then humor but it was a chapter with a lot of goodbyes, so it was necessary. Incase anyone is wondering there will be a bit of a love complication. Besides each other Erk will have his moments with Priscilla and Nino and Serra will have all the guys she can have support convos with. But since this is a Serk story Erk and Serra have to end up together…right? Well, we'll see. :D

Erk: Can we stop discussing my love life and just do the review responses already?

Arianna: Alrighty. Here's your favorite question answerer ever, Canas!

**-**

**Q&A**

**-**

Canas: Hello, here I am again to answer your questions.

:Ragnarok-legend: Oh, and why was there a fluffy teddy as a memory?

Canas: I asked Erk about that and he said he'd rather not comment.

:Inferno-Hero: Why is hard mode called hard mode...it isn't that hard. Are you gonna include any PriscillaXErk moments in this story at all? Have you ever been to MT? Are you ever going to do a RavenXRebecca story? HarkenXIsadora...ERKXPRISCILLA!?!??! Aren't you the author of dads and darlings?

Canas: In order: It made the mode feel special. There will be PriscillaxErk moments for the sake of suspense, rivalry, jealousy and such. Yes, the authoress has been to MT and would like to comment that Dorcas' journal is very funny. The first two are possibilities but Arianna is strongly for Serk so an ErkxPriscilla story is doubtful. Yes, our authoress doubles as the writer of 'Dads and Darlings'.

:potter29vo: Why are my muses even in this review?

Canas: I have no idea. Sounds like a personal problem to me.

:Merkiel: "Q&A with Canas" needs to be a story in it's own right.

Canas: The authoress would like to comment that if anyone wants to use that for a fanfic they are welcome to it.

:Genocide Archfiend: My goodness, don't tell me all Saceans are that clueless? How in the heck can you miss hitting a tent? The carriage is a little more understandable, but a tent? One thing, though. I thought the fog came in after the first few turns not right off the start? Canas does realize he's a Lycian too, right? Or is he from Bern or some other place? Was he thrown out of his house?

Canas: Most Sacaens are rather aware, but Lyn is only half Sacaen so there is some allowance for her lapses in attention. Whenever the enemy gets near Merlinus sprays stuff in their eyes to make them miss his tent. A few turns had already passed before Erk ran into Serra in the fog. I am proudly not a Lycian. We moved to Lycia when I was four from Caledonia. No, I decided to move out when I was 17.

:dustin pollock: in 5. chapter four green,red,&yellow lucas is a boy the light magic user so please correct that thanks

Canas: The authoress is well aware that Lucius is a guy, but for the plot and such she has to make Serra think he's a girl.

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**BIG THANKS TO**: Ryzuki, Ragnarok-legend, Firelien, Inferno-Hero, potter29vo, Merkiel, Illusi0n, BloodStained, Genocide Archfiend, dustin pollock, KrbKkes, Nocturna-Fire-Demoness, Dove-chan, timmycheese, and all readers! THANK YOU!

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**CHARACTER NOTES**

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Wallace: He's Mr. Clean with a lot of armor on.

Reissmann: A boring old guy.

Erk: He had to do it! He was just trying to make saying goodbye easier.

Serra: She's very confused and upset at his behavior before they said goodbye, but she still misses him for some reason.

Sain: He may flirt with Serra a lot, but he doesn't have any more interest in her then any other girl he flirts with…or does he? DA NA NAAA

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**AU REVOIR!**

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	8. Chapter Seven: One More Time

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Arianna: Uh can' feel muh tongue!

Erk: You….can't feel your tongue? And why is that?

Arianna: Uh don' know. I's all numb an' shuff.

Erk: …..

Ivan: Hello.

Eliwood: Hi! :D

Latisha: Is there a point to this opening?

Arianna: No. Wait…YES! Okay, a few weeks ago I had to take this test at school on what job I might be good at….and I got the results back today! I'm making all of my muses take the test, too!

Erk: ….say what?

Arianna: At the end of the chapter I'll reveal what we all got on our results. :)

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**DISCLAIMER**: No….I don't own it…. sniff

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_Come on in. I gotta tell you what a state I'm in. I gotta tell you in my loudest tones. That I started looking for a warning sign. When the truth is, I miss you. Yeah the truth is, that I miss you so. And I'm tired….I should not have let you go._

_'Warning Sign' by Coldplay_

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-: ERK'S POV :-

Almost a year after the whole business with Lyn my escorting service was open for business again. I was walking down the halls to my room when I heard Lord Pent call for me.

"Erk! I have something for you!" he yelled as he ran up to me, waving a piece of paper. I knew it had to be a request for an escort because it couldn't be an invitation. Ever since an incident that had happened while I was gone, Lady Louise had ordered all the servants to give invitations to _her_. I took the paper from Lord Pent and read it quickly.

"House Caerlon….Lady Priscilla." I said to myself, instantly storing the names to memory. This Priscilla needed an escort, but to where, it did not say. I looked up with a questioning expression. "Master Pent, to where does Lady Priscilla need escorted?" I asked.

"Well…that's the thing…." Lord Pent said in a strange voice. "She…is looking for someone. And to find this someone, she's leaving without her parents' permission." he explained. I blinked.

"I'm to escort…a runaway?" I said slowly and calmly even while my mind exploded in alarm. Escort a runaway!? What if we were caught!? Did Lord Pent not realize what consequences I would face!?!? Of course, _she_ would be perfectly fine being a noble and all but an orphan apprentice mage like me would be executed! No and no and NO! I would not do it!

"She's willing to pay you 100, 000 gold. Half now and half when she finds the person she's looking for." Pent said casually. I froze. Hmmm…maybe I would do this after all…

"Alright, I accept." I said. "I will reply to her message immediately." I bowed to Pent and then hurried to my study. I quickly wrote my reply and after I was finished writing it I stopped to think. This Priscilla…what would she be like? Would she be a normal, refined lady? Would she be like Serra? Could _anyone_ be like Serra? That pink-haired devil seemed like a once in a world type of person. I shook my head as I realized what I was thinking about. I had promised myself months ago to forget about….her. I stuck my message in an envelope and sealed it with wax. It was time again for another adventure.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

"And then she said 'Well, then you can just keep that scarf!'" said a young girl loudly and all the other girls in the room laughed and giggled. I laughed my unique, high-pitched tee-hee and then looked back to my project. I was currently painting my friend's nails with a red paste and if I messed up I was sure I would never hear the end of it. It was a day off for all girls who served St. Elimine in Ostia and we were making the most of it. For the last hour we had sat around the cleric's quarters telling stories, giving makeovers, and giggling like crazy. I was glad on days like these I had become a cleric. The day ahead was work free and full of fun. But of course, then the doors opened.

"Is the cleric Serra in here?" Oswin said as he glanced around the room. Everything was absolutely silent as he examined the young girls lounging around in light clothing with their half-painted nails and makeup caked faces and even the few who were wearing greenish beauty cream all over them.

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!**" all the girls suddenly screamed in unison and rushed out of the room, running for their quarters and, for a few, their dignity. Oswin blinked at the now empty room and his eyes settled on me, the only girl remaining. I set down the now unneeded nail polishing brush and got to my feet.

"You request my attention, Lord Oswin?" I said and flashed my award winning smile. Well, it _would_ be award winning if anyone actually gave awards for things like that. Oswin regained his stony expression.

"Yes….Lord Uther has ordered you and myself to accompany Lord Hector and Matthew on their journey to aid Lord Eliwood in finding his father. Gather what you'll need and then hurry to the front gate." he said and then left the room before I could begin my indignant ranting. WORK! On my day off!? And not just any work…a dangerous, long journey? WITH 3 MEN? Hmm….well, that part wasn't so bad, but what if I got killed? I continued my inward complaining as I dragged myself to my quarters and began gathering my things. The other girls gathered in my room and around my open door.

"What did he want?" asked one girl. I sighed deeply.

"I'm being requested by Lord Uther to accompany Lord Hector on a _very_ important mission." I drawled. I picked up my staves and walked out of my room. A few girls followed me down the hall.

"On your day off, of all days!" exclaimed one of the older girls. I shrugged as I opened the door that connected our rooms to the main castle.

"Well, what can you do? When you have such skill as I have you come to accept being called on so often." I bragged and then walked into the castle, closing the door behind me. I sighed and almost sobbed as I heard the girls return to telling their stories and giggling. Wishing for all the world I was in there with them, I headed out to meet Oswin by the gate.

-: ERK'S POV :-

First the bears, then the bandits, then sneaking over borders, now _this_! "You can't be serious!!" I shouted, forgetting my manners since this was, after all, a messenger of a lord I was talking to. Although how a disgusting pig like him had become a lord...

"My lord Darin is very serious. If the Lady Priscilla does not concede to marrying him and living with him in the castle, then you both will be stuck here." he retorted with a bit of arrogance. I felt a strong urge to Thunder him, but I resisted. He must have read something on my face, though, because he hurried out of the village and back to the castle.

"Oh, Erk, what shall we do?" Priscilla said mournfully. I turned to face her. She had auburn hair and emerald green eyes. She was a perfect lady with her dulcet speech and refined personality. The more time I spent with her, the more I almost wondered if I ever had really been attracted to that demonic cleric. Almost. "Maybe I should just marry him…" Priscilla said, a bit tearfully. I shook-wait. Wait. Tearfully? Tear. Fully. Tears? Oh no. She was crying. It was my worst enemy, a girl's tears. I shook my head.

"No! I promised to escort you safely and I believe marriage to a power-hungry lord is something that I should protect you from." I said in a comforting voice.

"Then what can we do? We're stuck here…" she replied softly. I thought for a moment, considering our options and weighing consequences. Then I looked over to the head of the village.

"Excuse me, sir? Can I entrust this lady to your care while I go request help from the other villages?" I asked him. He considered and then nodded.

"Of course. We'll guard her the best we can." he promised. I nodded and looked back to Priscilla.

"Well then, Lady Priscilla. I am off. I'll be back as soon as is possible with help." I told her and then bowed. As I turned around and headed for the village entrance, I heard her soft voice call after me.

"Erk, please be careful!" she said. I waved a hand behind me and kept moving. Hmm…she was worried about me. Could she…?....nah…..

Once I was out of the village I broke into a run. I spent a day running to every village in the territory of Laus, and every answer was the same. Nobody wanted to disobey the marquess' orders. I could understand why, but that didn't stop me from being angry with them. The next day, I entered the last village, feeling discouraged, and quickly sought out the head person. I explained the situation to him. "Hm. We could certainly stand some assistance…" I said once I had finished my tale. He shook his head at me and whatever hope I had left plummeted to the darkest parts of my mind.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not possible. If we disobey Marquess Laus, who knows what might happen to us?" he said.

"I understand. We'll seek our aid elsewhere." I sighed in response but I was at a loss for where to go. I had already been to every other village.

"You'll find the same answer everywhere you go." the man said and I winced internally because this was the truth. "Eventually, you'll have to do as the marquess orders. You would do well to tell your employer the same thing."

Even though he was trying to give me advice, I didn't like the tone he said it in. I snapped around. "Hm. Good day to you." I said and strode out of the village. As soon as I was out I noticed a fight was going on. I watched as a man on horseback with thick green hair that covered his eyes lunged for an enemy only to be easily evaded. I was about to chuckle when I felt something go wooshing past my head. I turned to see one of Laus' cavaliers attacking me with a javelin. As if things weren't bad enough, I was now being dragged into a fight I knew nothing about! The only thing that could make this situation any worse was if Serra arrived and tried to make me join another legion. At least _that_ had no chance of happening!

-: SERRA'S POV :-

I was running around to nearby houses helping Matthew collect information that might help us in this battle. We had followed a lead from Santaruz to Laus. As soon as we arrived the son of the marquess rode out to meet us.

(A/N: I know, I know! He was dead! It'll be explained soon.)

This 'Erik' quickly attempted to dupe Lord Eliwood but he proved himself to be an idiot and soon a fight had started. I believe Eliwood called this Erik a 'craven cur' and Lord Hector used a few stronger words. Anyways, we all began to battle the forces of Laus. And so, here I was. I knocked on the door of the last house and a woman answered the door.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but would you happen to know any local gossip?" I asked politely. The woman thought for a moment and then suddenly slapped her side in realization.

"Listen to this!" she said enthusiastically even though I was quite obviously already listening. But that kind of attitude was 'his '(you know who I mean) thing so I didn't make any sarcastic remarks. "Have you heard tell of the marquess' infatuation?" I leaned closer. Stories with love and lust had always fascinated me. "There's a young woman staying in a village on the harbor. Her speech, her looks, everything about her has the seeming of a princess. The marquess' attentions border on obsession. He's sent countless envoys to invite her to the castle, but she rejects him at every turn. Now, the marquess has guards around the village keeping her trapped. She has no way to escape. It's so sad." the woman finished dramatically. I thought back to a portrait I had once seen of the marquess of Laus and felt sympathy for the young lady.

"Yes, that is quite sad." I agreed.

"Apparently the girl's escort is searching desperately for help, but has found none." the woman said. "Maybe your group could help her escape if you win this battle?" the woman suggested. I agreed againand thanked her for her time, then ran across the bridge and towards a village I had spotted in the distance. As I drew close, I saw a mage attacking a cavalier of Laus. I hurried forward to see if he needed help. Apparently he didn't because as I finally drew close he finished the cavalier off. He turned around and I was suddenly looking into familiar, dark eyes.

- : OUTER POV : -

Serra gasped in shock as her dreams from the past year came to life. "OHMIGOSH! It's _Erk_!!! It's been SO long! What are you doing here!?" she gushed so quickly that it all mushed together and ended up sounding like "_OHMIGIERKBENSOLONG! WHATARUDOINERE!?"_ to Erk's ears He had been giving Serra the deer-in-headlights look and wondering why now, when he had just gotten over his strange attraction to her, she had to come back into his life again.

"Oh….Serra….." Erk mumbled and rubbed his temples where there was the stirrings of a headache. "You're the last person I wanted to see…." Serra came to her senses just in time to hear Erk say _"…person I wanted to see._" Her heart started to beat faster.

"Oh! That's so sweet!" Serra said and blushed as she brushed her hair back from her eyes. "You wanted to see me again!" she practically crooned and began swaying slightly. Erk gave her a look like she had said something very stupid. She snapped back up straight and clapped her hands and Erk jumped at the sudden movement. "Hey, I know!" she said smiling, "This is perfect. Come with us and lend a hand, Erk!" she suggested. Erk's eyes widened slightly.

"I beg your pardon?" he said incredulously. "_We?_" his mind screamed. "_Who's__ we? A boyfriend!? A lover!? A HUSBAND, even? Wait…..why do I care_!?" He brought his mind out of its little whirlwind to listen to what Serra was saying.

"Come on! I'll even introduce you to Lords Hector and Eliwood!" she was saying cheerfully.

"_Hector AND Eliwood!?__ TWO men!? LORDS!?_" his mind was wailing but somehow he managed to keep his poker face.

"I know you, you're probably just wandering about without work." Serra said a bit cockily. Her bubble was soon burst, though, and later to be brutally blown into oblivion, but we're not at that part yet.

"No, Serra, I'm afraid I'm gainfully employed." Erk replied, and strangely he WAS regretful. But then he thought of something. "However…if you're fighting Laus…" he put a hand to his face in a gesture of thought. "This might work out after all…." he finally said, mostly to himself. Serra tapped her foot impatiently.

"What are you babbling about? Make up your mind, will you?" she demanded. She had heard somewhere that being tense for too long could cause pimples and she certainly did not want a big, red dot on her face just because Erk was indecisive.

"My employer is hiding in a village south of here. If you help me protect her, I'll join up with you." he told the cleric and Serra froze. _HER? _Serra's spirits took a plunge.

"F-fine!" she snapped and turned around. "Well then, come on!" she ordered and stalked towards where the majority of her group was gathered. Erk trailed behind examining the unfamiliar faces, recognizing people he knew, and finally calling out to the tactician.

"Arianna!" he yelled in greeting as the pair came to the young tactician. She just gave a short wave and hurried off to scream at Bartre for attacking a mercenary. Erk watched as the burly, apish looking man scratched his head while Arianna explained the weapon circle. _"Where did they find that one at?_" Erk thought, a bit bemused by the brutish looking man.

"LORD ELIWOOD!" Serra screamed and Erk finally noticed the red-haired lord. He walked up to the lord and held out his hand in greeting.

"Hello, Lord Eliwood, I trust you remember me from our meeting a year ago?" Erk said. Eliwood cocked his head to the side and thought while Erk's hand hung awkwardly in the air. "Ummm….I was the mage with Lady Lyndis' group, remember?" Erk tried again. Eliwood squinted at him for a moment and then shook his head.

"Nope, sorry. I can't say I remember you because, well, I don't." Eliwood said bluntly. Erk slowly withdrew his hand and bowed instead.

"Well, anyways…" Erk said, a bit flustered, "I'll be fighting for your group in exchange of protection for the lady I'm escorting." Eliwood nodded. "Okay, where is this lady?" the lord asked. Erk pointed towards the distant village. "Hiding in that village over yonder. Lord Darin has been…."pursuing" her." Erk explained. Eliwood nodded once more and left to tell Marcus to fetch the lady from the village. "Well….he's a bit….simple….for a lord." Erk said as politely as he could as he and Serra watched Eliwood go.

"Hmph." was Serra's reply, making her sound a bit Erk-like. "Well, I better go heal people and such. You'll have to survive without me for a time, Erky!" she said and ran off before he could reply.

**Elsewhere….**

"HAHAHAHA! I survived killer tomatoes and terribly food poisoning! Your puny ax cannot kill one who has already cheated death!" Erik yelled at Hector as he charged towards the Ostian lord.

"Who said anything about killing you?" said Hector and then he whammed Erik in the side of the head with the side of his ax. Erik fell off his horse and curled up in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.

"DADDY! Where are you, Daddy? I'm scared! The big, mean tomatoes are coming for me!" Erik whined.

**Elsewhere in Elsewhere….**

"Run faster!" Ephidel yelled from atop Darin's head. He was holding a fishing rod that had a sausage tied to it. Darin was chasing the sausage.

"Pant…pant….are you sure catching this flying sausage for Nergal's pizza is more important than saving my son from certain death?" asked Darin as he chased the ever-eluding sausage.

"Of course! His lordship will be eternally grateful for this. Now, run faster before Eliwood's group catches us!" Ephidel said as they rode/ran further along the escape path.

**Back to the Point........**

"Well…Lord Hector defeated Erick surprisingly easily." Serra commented idly as she watched Erick bawl like a little baby as Hector looked down on him with almost a pitying face.

"Yes….it was most impressive…" Serra heard a melodic voice say behind her and she turned to see a beautiful lady riding up on a horse. From her clothing and staff, Serra deduced that she was a troubadour. And from the fact Serra had never seen her before, Serra also guessed that this was Erk's latest employer.

"So…you are?" Serra asked as the lady dismounted her horse.

"Priscilla….Lady Priscilla of Caerlon. How do you do?" she said and lifted a dainty hand. Serra shook it lightly with her own less-dainty-but-still-feminine hand.

"Greetings, milady. I am Priestess Serra of Ostian Chapel. I assume you are the one Mage Erk is escorting?" Serra said in her best formal voice. For some reason, Serra felt the need to not be one-upped by this woman.

"Yes….Erk was most kind to escort me on such late notice." Priscilla said in her lovely voice that made Serra silently writhe with jealously. If only _she_ could have a voice so pretty! "I trust you two get along?" Serra prodded. She hoped they fought horribly, but she knew that Erk probably got on perfectly well with this perfect lady. Priscilla smiled softly at this question.

"Oh yes….quite well. In fact, I think we may have fallen in love."

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Erk: Say WHAT? What gives her the right to just decide something like that!?

Serra: ERKY! HOW DARE YOU CHEAT ON ME!

Arianna: Hehehehe! Priscilla has now entered to cause some jealousy. Now Serra has to be the one to worry.

Serra: Oh no….I'm going to get pimples!

Ivan: That's just a silly myth.

Serra: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SILLY!?

Ivan: ……..eep.

Arianna: Uhhh….CANAS! You're on!

**---------**

**Q&A**

**---**

:Ryzuki: And Wallace is Mr. Clean with armor on?

Canas: Kind of a stretch, yes, but he is bald…. sweatdrop

:ARF: You said it would go to the end of Eliwood's story. And yet it appears that this is the end.

Canas: It will go on through Eliwood's story, Arianna is just a slow updater.

Arianna: Sorry!

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**BIG THANKS TO**: Ryzuki, Ragnarok-legend, Nocturna-Fire-Demoness, erkxserra rule, Hamano Ayumi, ARF, Aeros Fujita, and all readers! THANKS!

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Arianna: Well, I better go wipe the dust off of my account and post this! See ya next time!

Erk: Hope you all haven't died of old age by then….

Arianna: Oh! I almost forgot! Our ASAT results!

Muses: GROAN

Eliwood: Darn….we were so close!

Latisha: Mine says….muse. Huh.

Eliwood: Mine says…..Neuro Surgeon! Wow!

Arianna: Scary…..

Erk: Mine says…..politician. What the….

Ivan: Mine says breakdancer.

All: ……..

Ivan: What?

Eliwood: What does yours say, Arianna?

Arianna: Uhh…looks like we're out of time! Bye!

All: HEY!

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	9. Chapter Eight: Garden Meetings and PIZZA

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Arianna: I'm currently feeling lovesick….so when better to work on my romance story?

Erk: Who's the poor, unfortunate guy?

Arianna: WAAAAAAAAH! YOU'RE SO MEAN!

Erk: …….I was just kidding…..

Eliwood: I like artichokes and kitties. :)

All: …………huh?

Arianna: Er….let's just start the chapter!

**DISCLAIMER:** When Hawkeye gets a shirt and Louise hates Pent I'll own 'Fire Emblem'.

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_So you're with her, not with me. I hope she's sweet, and so pretty._

_'Don't Think Of Me' by Dido_

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-: ERK'S POV :-

We had taken refuge for the night in the now abandoned castle of Laus. While Erick was interrogated by the nobles I was checking in with my client. "Lady Priscilla, are you all right?" I inquired as I entered her room (after knocking, of course!) and spotted the lady troubadour sitting on her bed. She had a distant, thoughtful look in her eyes, but she came to attention at my question.

"Ah, Erk!" she said kindly in greeting. "I am fine." she answered. "Thank you for checking on me." That last part momentarily threw me off. I wasn't used to being thanked for as simple a thing as doing my job.

"Not at all! That is my duty!" I replied. I sensed a strange weariness in her that had not been there when I had talked to her on the battlefield. "You….are not tired?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No…..no, I'm quite fine, really." she said. I wasn't convinced, though. I hear many women say nothing is wrong when truly something is bothering them.

"You're feet are not weary?" She was a pampered noble, after all. She couldn't be used to walking much. But then I realized she rode a horse. '_Stupid question. Hmmm….to ride a horse you have to hold reins which may strain the arms and-_' "Your shoulders, are they not tense?" I tried. She looked at me with amusement, but not even a hint of aggravation at my many questions.

"They're fine, really." she replied with a slight smile. I continued thinking of other ailments.

"And your belly? Is it full? Your throat…dry? Are you sleepy? or bored?"

"Erk?" she said so it sounded like a question, and finally I heard a bit of impatience. I decided that maybe nothing was wrong and she was just a deep thinker. It was an easier conclusion than to keep on guessing.

"Ah….yes, sorry." I apologized with a slight bow. "Hard to break old habits." The smile she had had earlier dropped off her face with my last comment. She made a soft noise of question. I thought she deserved an answer to a question since I had bombarded her with so many. "My last lord was a very willful….child, you see." Childish was the only way I could think to describe Serra's behavior at times. "She would call me over the slightest things…." I remembered the spider incident. Now, it seemed a bit humorous and I must have smileda twingeat the memory for Priscilla's expression became one of puzzlement. "That is the past now, of course." I finished, mentally shaking myself to keep my face serious. If I began laughing for a reason no one else could see I risked being locked up in an asylum and I certainly did not want to be stuck with _those_ kinds of people. I was sure I was about to see enough of them as it was traveling with this 'army'.

"I see….." Priscilla said thoughtfully. "Should….I be asking you to do more, then?" Alarmed at the thought of another experience like what I endured escorting Serra, I hurriedly replied while stumbling backwards for the door to make a run for it.

"Oh no! No! This is just fine!" I said. "Goodnight, Lady Priscilla!" I turned and practically ran out of the room.

"Goodnight, Erk!" Priscilla called after me and for some reason the tone of her voice seemed…..sad. I paused in the hallway.

"Hey, you! Little girly-haired man! Are you Erk?" a voice grunted at me. I looked up to see the ax wielder from earlier making his way down the hall with a piece of paper clutched in one hand. A couple years ago I had made up five levels into which I categorized all people by intelligence. The top level was made up of those who I considered to be genius or somewhere close, like my Lord Pent. At the very bottom level there was those who usually communicated by grunting and pointing and could actually use 'ugga' in a sentence. This man was definitely one of those bottom dwellers. I know what you're thinking; don't judge someone by looks. But if you could just _see_ and _hear_ this man!

"Yes, I am. Why do you ask?" I replied as the brute came to a stop in front of me. He had brown hair and a rather large nose. His clothes were simple and clearly showed he had the rank of a commoner. I suppose to him I _was_ little since he towered over me, but I value brains far over brawn, so this didn't bother me…..much.

"The pretty pink-haired girl told me to give this to you." he explained and held the paper out.

'_Pink hair?_' I thought and took the paper quickly. "Thank you…er….?"

"Bartre. You're welcome Erk of the girly hair. Bye." he said and left fast which was lucky for him because I was about to fry his head with a Fire tome. My hair's not _girly_! It's just….pretty. I sighed, something I had not done for quite some time now, and opened the paper.

_Meet me in the east gardens. There's something I wish to discuss with you._

_-Serra_

-: SERRA'S POV:-

I stood among the beautiful flora and breathed deeply as the night breeze blew the scent of flowers by my face. I tried to calm my head. I didn't want to confront Erk and end up going hysterical. I wanted to have a calm conversation with him. I sang a silly song I had learned as a young child in the convent to calm my nerves. "_I stroll through the forest and what do I see? A little happy bunny staring back at me. He twitches his nose and makes me happy too. And now I want to share my happiness with you."_

"Little happy bunny?" said a rich voice incredulously and I turned around to see Erk had arrived. My singing didn't help a bit for as soon as I saw him my nerves got shaken like soil in an earthquake. My brain got scrambled and I couldn't for the life of me think of a thing to say. So, I just stared at him. And stared. And as the wind blew again I……..stared. "Er….Serra?" he finally said, breaking the extremely awkward silence. I turned away from him. It was much easier to speak when I wasn't looking at his face.

"Oh, hi there, Erk!" I said in a voice that sounded strange. Well, even stranger than mine usually is, anyway. It was higher pitched and didn't have my usual confident tone to it. I cleared my throat and tried again, bravely turning to face him again. "You should be thanking me. I'm the one who got you into this outfit. In fact, you should be terribly grateful to me!"

Erk raised an eyebrow at me as if to say 'That's what you called me all the way out here for?' "Well, you did introduce me to Lord Eliwood." he admitted, "But that's about it, really. I owe you no special obligation." he said with finality and turned as if to leave. I panicked and blurted the next thing that came to mind.

"That's the most ungrateful thing I've ever heard!" I almost screamed at him. He didn't begin walking away, so I continued more calmly. "You know, Erk, I've been with them longer than you have….so you really should treat me like your superior!" He turned back towards me and my heart sped up as I looked him straight in the face, but I stubbornly refused to lower my eyes.

"As usual, you use entirely confounding logic." Erk drawled, not sounding confounded at all. "Doesn't Lord Eliwood decide such matters?" he asked. I struggled for a good answer.

"Well, he hasn't mentioned it yet, but I'm sure he would agree." I responded and suddenly thought of something that was sure to spark _some_ kind of reaction in Erk besides sarcasm and indifference. "After all, I am his close friend and Hector's fiancée!" I smiled convincingly and watched the young mage's face for immediate shock and jealousy. I was sorely disappointed. He just turned around again and this time actually began walking slowly away.

"Well, I've heard enough. Talking to you is just a never-ending headache." he called behind him in a very _rude_ tone. He sounded quite irritated.

"**HOLD YOUR TONGUE, SERVANT!** You would speak thus to your lady and liege?" I screeched after him as he moved farther and farther away. I began running to catch up. "Hey! ERK, wait up!"

-: ERK'S POV :-

Fiancee? Fiancee? It was just like I had feared when I heard she was traveling with men! She was marrying this 'Hector'! How could I hope to compete with a-

"I said **_WAIT!_**" Serra screamed and I felt two arms wrap tightly around my waist as Serra's head collided with my back. She had tripped and had grabbed onto the closest thing available—me. I disengaged her arms from my mid-section and turned around as she pulled herself back to her feet.

"What is it? If you want to gloat about your engagement I'm not one-"

"I wanted to ask you about your relationship with Priscilla!" Serra exclaimed. "That's the reason I asked you to come out here in the first place!" I crossed my arms.

"What about my relationship Lady Priscilla?" I asked, genuinely confused. Did Serra not understand there were such things as an employer and worker relationship? Did she think there were only nobility and servant ones?

"Umm….well…." Serra stammered, blushing for some reason I couldn't comprehend. I tilted my head slightly and motioned with my hand for her to get on with it. "Priscilla said….you two….are…lovers…"

"**_WHAT?_**"

My jaw must have been somewhere close to touching the ground. Lovers? When could we have…..oh no, was it that night I got drunk at the inn in Hagan? "Well…she didn't exactly say _lovers_, but she said you were in love." Serra clarified. I breathed a sigh that for once was not from irritation. It was from a very great amount of relief.

"In love?" I repeated. Didn't those kind of decisions usually take some consent from both sides? "No, as far as _I _know Priscilla and I are not in love." I said, but then I froze remembering the troubadour's strange reaction to some of my earlier words with her. Was it possible that she was in love with me?

"You mean….Priscilla isn't your lover?" Serra asked and I shook my head vehemently.

"No. That's absurd to think a lady would want to consort with a lowly mage like me." I stated somberly and for some reason Serra grew more upset.

"So….do you like her?"

"Yes, she's a very nice person."

"I mean _like her_, like her."

"What's the difference?" I asked, confused. How could using the same words twice make it mean something different? Serra made a sound of frustration.

"The difference is whether you think of her romantically or as a friend!" Serra declared. I chewed my lip in thought.

"……..can I use a lifeline?"

Serra hit me with a heal staff I hadn't even noticed until that moment, then she stormed off grumbling about 'difficult men' and 'stupid purple-haired people'. I thought about what she had said about Lord Hector and Lady Priscilla. Then I thought of my attraction to Serra. This was becoming quite the complicated love triangle….square…shape-thingy. Little did I know it was about to get worse….

-: OUTER POV :-

Early the next morning, Eliwood's posse—um, ARMY headed for Caelin. They were supposed to be hurrying to save Caelin Castle, but problems arose when along the way the group spotted a newly opened restaurant called 'PLACE OF NERGAL'S EVIL PIZZA AND PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD Pizzeria' and they just _had _to stop.

"DRAT! I wish we could catch that rat Darin and discover his evil plans!" Eliwood said. He was sitting at a table with Hector. A waiter with gold eyes wearing a shirt that said 'I Heart Evil Druids' and a button that said 'Ask Me About Our Daily Evil Hostile Takeovers' delivered their pizza.

"Here you go. One sausage, pineapple, poisonous tomato sauce pizza." the morph—ah, _waiter_ said in a monotone voice and dropped it roughly so that it slopped some sauce on Hector.

"Why I oughtta…" Hector growled and stood up with Wolf Beil in hand. As all this was going on, Erk was sitting at a nearby table. Alone.

"Stupid fluxin' Lady Lyn and her stupid problems and her stupid legions!" Erk grumbled viciously to himself. He stabbed angrily at his pizza with a fork, then he put it angrily in his mouth, then he chewed it angrily. Obviously Erk was not thrilled that he was once again going to be traveling with his old friends very soon.

"Hey, Erk! I didn't know you were with us!" said Matthew and Erk looked up to see the thief sitting down at _his_ table _without asking for permission_. Erk swallowed and glared at him.

"Don't you have someone else to eat with?" Erk asked bluntly. Matthew shook his head.

"Nope. Lord Hector is busy," Matthew explained and pointed to Hector, who was currently bashing the waiter's head repeatedly into a wall while Eliwood tried hopelessly to calm him down. "So you're my new lunch buddy." Matthew concluded with a grin. Erk glared again and went back to his pizza, determined to ignore the uninvited spy. "So, what's this about you and Lady Priscilla being lovers?" Matthew abruptly said and Erk began choking on a piece of cheese.

"What?" Erk finally choked out when he had stopped coughing.

"I was taking a stroll through the gardens of Laus Castle when I happened to overhear Serra asking about you and your lady friend." Matthew said, which translated meant 'I eavesdropped on you, HAHA! FEAR MY SNEAKY POWER!'

"As I told Serra, and am now telling you, and will eventually get around to telling Lady Priscilla, _Priscilla and I are not lovers!_" Erk declared loudly. The whole pizzeria suddenly went silent. Hector held the poor waiter in mid-bash. Dorcas dropped his pizza slice on the floor and it splattered all over Arianna's shoes. Lowen quit trying to bribe the cooks into giving him the recipe. Everyone just stared at Erk. Then everyone looked at Priscilla, who was sobbing silently.

"Um….time to go, everyone!" Eliwood yelled and the group rushed quickly outside leaving the frustrated mage alone with his crying client. Erk walked over to her.

"Erm….well, mi'lady, we're _not_…" he said. Priscilla wiped at her eyes and looked at him tearfully.

"Hmm? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, Erk. I think I'm allergic to tomatoes. As soon as I took a bite of the pizza my eyes started watering horribly and my sinuses got plugged up and-hey, where did everyone go?" the allergy afflicted girl asked when she looked around the now empty restaurant. Erk almost collapsed with relief when he realized she had not heard his loud declaration of no love.

"I said it's time to go, Lady Priscilla." he lied and Priscilla thanked him for notifying her. The two walked out to join the group.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

I was wheezing and using my staff as a walking stick. Apparently that year off had made me a tad out of shape, and this hike uphill was almost killing me. The only thing worthwhile about this trip so far had been watching Lord Hector get flattened by a flying horse. The rider of the pegasus happened to be Florina! She had brought a message from Lyn that the castle had been taken and we immediately began battle. Arianna split us so we went two paths, and I just_ had_to be one of the unlucky ones who had to go up ALL the hills.

"Ahh…sweetest Serra!" a familiar voice suddenly called from behind me. I turned to see it was Sain the knight riding up. "No matter how often I see you, you always present the freshest and most lovely appearance!" he said. Now, considering I was sweaty and wheezing and my hair was blown all over, I knew his words were just fake compliments. But, hey, they were compliments nonetheless! And maybe Sain could see my beauty shining under my overworked exterior.

"Well, well…Sain." I greeted him. "I've always thought you had an eye for beauty." I brushed my hair over with my hand to make sure it was lying flat and I got sweat all over it! Ewwwww! I didn't care what Rebecca called me, I was spending at least an hour in the shower that night!

"That is but _one _of the good traits that runs in our good house." he replied. I didn't ponder too much what he meant by 'house'. "And, surely, it is what has brought us together now! Ah, Serra, we would make such a fine pair!" he said. I thought that was going quite a bit too far, since this was the first time we'd seen each other in a year, but I had just gotten an idea that could help me out a lot.

"Well, I don't know about that quite yet, but….." I said and tilted my head downwards so I was looking up at him through my eyelashes. I fluttered them a few times and smiled slyly. The guy almost fell off his horse.

"Ahh, a bit coy, are we? Or perhaps you wish to delay the pleasure to make it sweeter?" he asked. The word 'pleasure' frightened me a little, but I continued my little charade.

"It's not that, but….wait, you're just trying to get me to say yes, right?" I asked, smiling again. He nodded his head profusely.

"For that, I would do anything, my dear!" he agreed enthusiastically.

"Mmm, well….we'll see, won't we?" I said and then moved my head back up so I was looking at him straight on. "Sir Sain, would you mind terribly giving me a ride up this hill? I fear my fragile body is not made for this kind of labor…" He immediately smiled and held out a hand.

"Of course! Take my hand and I'll pull you up!" hereplied and I took it gratefully, almost feeling bad about how easily I had manipulated him. Then in one quick moment he hoisted me up behind him. The man was stronger than I had thought! I wrapped my arms around him and held on as he nudged the horse back into motion. I smiled to myself with glee at how one of my clever plans had actually worked for once.

-: OUTER POV :-

Erk had been frying so long he felt like the BBQ master. He had been sent with the group going around the towns and _then_ up the hill. "Stupid nobles and their stupid disputes…" he grumbled to himself as he turned yet another Laus soldier into a KFC special.

(A/N: I do not own KFC! Please don't come and deep fry me!)

He eventually worked his way to the hill and began hiking. Erk was having almost as much trouble as Serra had had, and he glared as someone on a horse passed him up. He did a double-take, looking more closely at the person riding behind the knight. '_Is that….oh Elimine, she's with **SAIN!**_" he thought to himself and took chase. "Hey! HEY! **SERRA!** What are you doing with Sain when you're engaged to Lord Hector?"he yelled.Further up the hill, the horse came to a screeching stop when its owner pulled hard on the reins.

"**Whaaaaaaaaaaat?**"

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Ivan: HAHA! Erk ruined your plan!

Serra: …….. -SMACK SMACK SMACK-!

Ivan: Ow…..

Arianna: Canas time!

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**--------Q&A**--------

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:Inferno-Hero: Ever heard Modest Mouse's song Ocean Breathes Salty?

Canas: I haven't, but Arianna has and she said she loves it. She would also like to comment "Novocain Tester?"

:Illusi0n: What was the ASAT result!

Canas: Believe me, I'd like to know myself…

:Aeros Fujita: Hey, Canas, what are your wife and son doing during the fight against Nergal? She's probably gonna be REALLY angry when you get back!

Canas: Er…..uhhh…..NEXT QUESTION!

:Evergladelord: While the lords and their forces seem to be in character, the evil forces seem a bit... silly. Why?

Canas: Um, Arianna?

Arianna: I'm not a very serious person, and I'm rather fond of stupid humor. So while I'll try to keep the good guys in character, the bad guys are gonna seem more like idiots than villains.

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**BIG THANKS TO**: Inferno-Hero, Illusi0n, Deathscythe Hell, Aeros Fujita, WildfireDreams, Rose-Wisteria, Ryzuki (Happy belated birthday!), Lack Thereof, goodman345, Redwyrm, Evergladelord, Seproth, and all readers! 

**Special Thanks To**: Timmycheese for reading over the first half of this chapter for me!

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Arianna: Well, I'm gonna go mourn the fact I have to go back to school tomorrow.

Eliwood: I've got something that will ease your pain!

Arianna: I'm probably gonna regret this but……..what?

Eliwood: An artichoke!

Arianna: …….

Latisha: See ya next chapter! Hopefully…

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	10. Chapter Nine: Why Lying is Bad

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Eliwood: Lying is bad….it makes people mad! And if you're paying money to read this, then you've been had!

Arianna: Darn you, confounded muse! They lead me in one direction and then tug me in a completely different one a few days later.

Muses: ……huh?

Arianna: I began working on DADs but then I started getting ideas for PTD and now I'm working on it instead! Oh, my poor, confused mind!

Erk: ABOUT TIME YOU WORKED ON _SOMETHING_.

Arianna: Hey! I just said I started on the next chapter of DADs! _And_ I finished FEI.

Ivan: With a short chapter.

Arianna: There wasn't anything left to do but announce a winner! Why drag it out?

Latisha: My, Arianna, I think you may be losing your touch…

Arianna: But-….I…..

Eliwood: HAHA! Arianna is a loser now!

Arianna: You guys are so mean…..

(A/N: Anyone besides me think it's a little pathetic that I not only talk to myself and argue with myself, but I insult myself as well?)

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**DISCLAIMER**: I can't even make a proper bridge in tech class…..how would I make a video game? I wouldn't, that's how. So FE isn't my creation, just my inspiration.

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_As long as the stars shine down from the heavens,_

_As long as the rivers flow to the sea,_

_I'll never get over you, getting over me._

'_I'll Never Get Over You' by Selena_

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-: OUTER POV :-

As you may very well remember if you are reading this after just having read the last chapter, or may not-so-well remember if you've been waiting for this chapter for months, when we last left off Sain had just pulled his horse to a stop after Erk 'accidentally' let loose Serra's false secret. And Sain's response was rather typical of one who has just found out the girl he had been flirting with is engaged to his higher-up.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Sain demanded in shock, with that exact amount of a's and with his jaw dropping in disbelief. Serra first thought of jumping off the horse and making a run for it, then she thought of running to Erk and beating his head in with her staff, and finally she decided on trying to explain.

"I'm NOT!" she insisted, and used her ever useful tool of lying once more as she went on to say, "Erk just got that stupid idea in his head and now he's convinced himself it's true! He's _lying_! Just Erk being touched in the head, that's all!" Serra said easily, since making up lies was something of a talent of hers. Although when it came to getting herself out of messes her lies created….her abilities were yet to be proven.

"Well!" Sain replied, "I always told Kent that I thought that Erk was crazy! He's quiet and says the strangest things that sound suspiciously like insults, but aren't. And he's always falling down for no reason when people talk! And what is with that purple hair? A bit odd looking, hm?"

"I like his hair!" Serra defended indignantly, speaking before she realized exactly how it might sound. Sain gave her a strange look, but she was spared further awkwardness when Erk finally caught up to the two. Panting and wheezing, Erk didn't look too much like the hero of this story.

"You-" Pant. "-are-" Pant. "-being-" Wheeze. "-unfaithful." Erk managed to gasp out before he went into a coughing fit and collapsed on the ground. Sain looked to be holding back chuckles at the pathetic stamina of the young mage, while Serra was concerned. Of course, she had to put on an act of complete disdain.

"For the last time, you crazy _boy_, I am not engaged to Lord Hector!" Serra told Erk sternly and he looked up at her, startled.

"What?" he asked. Sain finally broke out in laughter.

"Oh, you strange mage! As if the beautiful Serra would be with a brute like Lord Hector!" Sain said, and Erk grew quite flustered.

"But….you said…" he stammered to Serra, quite confused.

"Excuse me for breaking this lovely social up-" a loud voice suddenly boomed at the trio. They turned to see Lord Hector striding quickly up the hill. "-but are we or are we not in the middle of a battle?" he snapped. Sain nodded his head respectfully at the lord.

"Of course, your lordship. Forgive us." he said, and rode after Hector up to the castle entrance. As they moved further from the mage and cleric, Sain's voice could be heard saying "Guess what that mage down there was saying about you and Serra?" Serra turned back to Erk to see that his face was no longer showing puzzlement, but anger. Erk began walking quickly up the hill, brushing right past Serra. She chased after him.

"Erky! Mind if I walk with you?" she chirped cheerily, as if nothing had happened and she hadn't just lied straight to Erk's face and made him look like a fool. He did mind, but he had vowed not to speak to her ever again so he couldn't say so.

"Erk, I'm not engaged." Serra admitted.

"So I've gathered." was his cold reply.

(A/N: Wow, that vow lasted long, huh?)

"Look, Erky, I only lied to you because you wouldn't pay any attention to me!" Serra exclaimed, finally stopping to catch her breath. Erk stopped as well and turned sharply on his heel to glare at her in a mixture of bafflement and anger.

"Not pay attention to you? A year ago I spent _weeks_ only caring about your well being! And these last couple of days, can you deny that I have talked to you? No!" he exploded and Serra averted her eyes.

"Yes, but…." she said sadly, and Erk moved closer to hear her better.

"But what?" he snarled, crossing his arms.

"But…you never treated me like a girl….like a lady…." Serra mumbled very softly, and Erk strained to hear the bizarre explanation. "You always just treated me like a hindrance….like a spoiled brat…." Serra was blushing slightly at admitting so much to the mage, but after lying to him he deserved to hear some of her truths.

"Serra…." Erk softly said, and Serra looked back up into his deep brown gaze. It was now gentle and almost looked to be (to Serra) sympathetic and understanding.

"You _are_ a spoiled brat."

Serra blinked a few times as the words registered in her mind, and then she screeched with all the fury of an insulted woman. "You JERK!" she screamed, slapping him across the face. Then she stormed her way up the hill, screaming back to Erk, "How _dare_ you judge me when you don't know anything about me!" And as she grew distant, her shrill rebukes still echoed down the hill saying things like "You were named Erk because if you put a J at the beginning it's _jerk_" and "If you only knew how many men I'm going to sic on you for saying that!" Erk didn't take any of them to heart. He just sighed an Erky sigh, gave an Erky shrug, and followed the loud cleric upward.

-: ERK'S POV :-

It was a little later, and we had now stormed Caelin Castle. I was running through a hallway with Priscilla close behind, frying everything in my path. I'm going to have to apologize to that Caelin knight when this is over. The corridor we were currently in was longer than the first few, and it had less torches to light it, making a spooky effect. I assumed this meant we were near the dungeons.

"Erk, where are we heading?" Priscilla asked.

"Lady Lyn said that an old friend of the legion is being held prisoner by the enemy. We're going to the dungeon to free him and any Caelin soldiers." I replied, although it looked like the Caelin knights had already made a break for it.

"Well, I hope we get there soon-**EEEEK!**" she broke off with a loud scream and I turned around……and looked down at the sword that was being held to my neck. Following the sword up to its wielder, I saw a dark red-haired man with frighteningly smoldering eyes.

"I hold no ill will towards you, I do this for the sake of avenging my family and protecting a friend." the man said and pulled back the sword to prepare the thrust that would end my life.

"No! Wait! Sir!" Priscilla screamed and the man, thanks be to Elimine, actually looked back at her.

"You…." the sword-wielder said and began walking towards my client with a strange look in his eyes. Priscilla was startled by this sudden change in his demeanor.

"Hm?" Priscilla said nervously, backing away. I readied my spell, trying to fry the man before he attacked Lady Priscilla.

"You will not hurt her!" I yelled heroically, but the man just punched me in the gut and down I went. "ACK!" I gasped, holding my injured body. I looked up with watering eyes to see the man drawing close to my employer!

"Can it be?" he asked himself, actually daring to reach out a hand and brush Lady Priscilla's hair. His eyes were wide with fright, but there was curiosity as well. I struggled to stand.

"Get away from her!" I demanded and tried to move forward, but that punch had really hurt! I gave up and just collapsed on the ground, glaring at the man's back in hopes that I would somehow magically gain the ability to cast Fire spells out of my eyes. I didn't.

"You don't…recognize me." he said and stepped back, to my relief. Looking to Priscilla, I was shocked to see she had tears in her eyes. But she was smiling!

"Are you….Raymond? My brother, Raymond?" she suddenly said excitedly. The man replied softly and my ears couldn't catch his words, but apparently it confirmed Priscilla's suspicions for she then began crying and hugging this 'Raymond', saying "Brother!" over and over. I felt like I had to vomit, but I wasn't sure if it was from the sappy scene before me or the hard hit to my stomach.

"What are you doing here?" Raymond asked, grabbing his sister by the shoulders so that she was forced to release him and look him in the face. "It's been ten years Count Caerleon of Etruria took you in as his foster daughter….."

"That's right." she replied, wiping away some stray tears. My adopted father has treated me with much kindness. But I am of Caelin's House Cornwell by birth. I still remember Father and Mother. I've never forgotten them. Or you, Raymond." she told him with obvious fondness. I made a show of loudly retching some stuff that had finally found its way up onto the stone floor, but the siblings didn't even turn around! They continued talking about what the two had been up to this past decade. You know…."Oh, is that a new haircut? How are you doing in school? How are our parents? How many people have you killed since I last saw you?" Normal reunion stuff. I just stayed patiently lying on the floor, watching them. I noticed that "Raymond" gave an odd reaction when Lady Priscilla mentioned Lord Hector.

"Priscilla, we must keep our relationship secret, ok?" he told her and she relented, although her eyes were silently questioning him. Priscilla's no fool, she had to have seen his expression at Hector's name as well.

"Another thing…" he continued, backing away from his sister and resuming his stoic posture. "My name is Raven now."

'_Hello!_' I thought. '_If he gets to be Raven, I'm changing my name to Ernest! Or does that sound too nerdy? Maybe Erick? No, no, I don't want to have the same name as that fool of a lord! Hmmm…_'

"Brother, this is Mage Erk." I heard Priscilla say and I broke from my thoughts to look up. "He's my escort." she continued and Raven moved to stand over me.

"Hmmm….not very reliable, is he? Knocked down by one punch?" he sneered and I _GLARED_ up at him. Then I pulled myself into a sitting position so I didn't look _quite_ so pathetic.

"I am a mage, not a mercenary, _sir_." I retorted hotly. I could already tell this guy was gonna be loads of fun to be with. "I'm not one for physical attacks. However, if you would like, I would _gladly_ battle you in a duel of magic." I said and displayed my tomes. The jerk actually sniffed at me and walked away!

"Goodbye for now, Priscilla!" he said over his shoulder. "Lucius…you remember him?...well, he and some Caelin soldiers are being held in the room down the hall. Go see to them." I twitched angrily at being ignored. What gave him the right to order us around? Er…well, I guess he could order me around since technically he's a noble…but why should he be bossing around his sister? You might be able to tell that I was already having a few problems with this Raven guy.

"Oh, and Erk." he said, turning back to look at me. Priscilla was helping me to my feet and preparing her staff to heal my aching body. "If you tell anyone about mine and Priscilla's relationship, I will kill you." he told me very calmly, then having gotten the last word, he turned back and ran away before I had time to yell one of my scathing and witty remarks after him.

"Nice to meet you too, _sir._" I muttered under my breath as I was surrounded by the warm glow of Priscilla's healing staff.

"I'm so sorry Brother hit you, Erk." Priscilla apologized, looking so sincere that you would think _she_ was the one who had punched me.

"Oh, it's alright." I replied, taking a few test steps to make sure I could walk. "I won't judge you by your family. Actually, if I remember right, I used to have an uncle who was quite the ass himself, if you'll pardon my language, mi'lady." I said in what I thought was a comforting manner, but I guess wasn't because she became riled. Or, as riled as Priscilla gets.

"My brother is not an-an-a rear!" Priscilla said, not managing to say the foul word. "He is very kind! You just haven't…you haven't really talked to him yet! You'll see!" she promised, and what could I say? This troubadour seemed set on defending her brother at all costs.

"If you say so, mi'lady." I said, bowing politely. Then I walked down the corridor. "Now, that room your brother mentioned….."

-: OUTER POV :-

'_GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Why do my plans always go awry? You don't see Arianna's plans getting all messed up! And I'll bet no one else gets yelled at for one stupid, little lie! Oh, the poor, sad fate of the beautiful and charming..._' Serra thought. It was the night after the battle and the castle had been reclaimed. While the lords were discussing their next move, the rest of the ever-growing group had gone to celebrate the victory at a tavern. Serra, however, was not much in the mood for partying. Now that the fighting was done, she had time to think about what had happened and how, er….for lack of better words, screwed over she was as far as her relationship with Erk.

"**V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Victory! Victory for you and me!**" Wil and Sain were singing drunkenly as they swayed from side to side. "**V-I-C-T-O-R-Y! Victory for you and I!**"

"Would you two cut it out? You're annoying me!" Serra snapped at the drunken duo. Their raucous attempt at singing was agitating her and interrupting her thoughts. Kent put his mug down and gave Serra a withering look.

"Elimine forbid _Serra _be the one annoyed, for once." he said sarcastically and both Wil and Sain laughed. A few people sitting nearby chuckled as well. Serra scoffed at the remark and left the tavern, making sure to whack Kent in the head with her staff on the way out.

_Meanwhile…._

In a corner of the tavern, at a small table for two, sat Lucius the monk and Erk. Erk was, shocker of shockers, getting drunk. And strangely enough, Erk turned out to be a talkative drunk. He was complaining to Lucius about his rather rough day. "I mean, can you believe she just lied to me like that? Does she _want_ to drive me away?" he was saying. Lucius looked at the mage sympathetically and shook his head, taking a sip of his water. (It was forbidden for monks to drink alcohol)

"Of course she doesn't! Maybe she wanted to make you jealous? You did say she wants you to pay more attention to her." Lucius suggested. Erk shook his head, but suddenly stopped because it made everything spin. He put a hand up to his face.

"No, no! She hates me doesn't she? Yes, it seems she hates me!" he said a bit too loudly. A few people turned to glance at the two magic users. "Not that I care, of course! I don't care one bit! NOT ONE BIT, YOU HEAR ME!"

"Of course not." Lucius comforted while taking Erk's cup away from him and setting it on a passing waitress' tray.

"And then, you see this? This right here?" Erk said, lifting up his shirt (WHEE!), to Lucius' alarm, to point angrily at a large bruise on his mid-region. "Some enemy bas-"

"Watch your language!" Lucius interrupted. "You're in the presence of a holy man!"

"-ilisk punched me! And then he turned out to be Lady Priscilla's brother!" Erk exclaimed, gesticulating enthusiastically to somehow add to his point.

"You mean Lord Raymond?" Lucius asked as, to Lucius' relief, Erk finally dropped his shirt.

"Don't you mean _Raven_?" Erk hissed and tried to catch a waitress to bring him another drink, but every time he raised his hand it made him lose his balance on his seat, so he gave up.

"Yes, I told him it was stupid to change his name, but he just told me 'It's not your business, monk!' in a very rude tone." Lucius said, putting a finger to his chin in thought.

"Yes, he seemed like the charming sort of fellow who would say such things to a monk." Erk said sarcastically, slowly gaining back some of his usual composure. Lucius completely missed the sarcasm in Erk's comment.

"Like you!" Lucius replied cheerfully, glad to hear that Erk liked Lord Raymond even though their first encounter left Erk in quite a bit of pain. Erk just stared at Lucius like he had said something stupid…which he had. It was at this time that Lucius noticed Serra get up and leave. "Erk, if you don't mind, I think I'll…." he started to excuse himself but drifted off when he noticed the mage had fallen fast asleep on the table. As quietly as he could he got up and left, although I doubt that any noise that Lucius could make would wake Erk if all the sounds of the tavern didn't. He quickly made his way down the road after the bubblegum-haired cleric.

-: SERRA'S POV :-

"What a _jerk_!" I screamed loudly as I stomped down the street, not caring who I woke up and not looking to see where I was going. I just wanted to vent over my awful day. But I probably should have been looking up, because I suddenly ran into something—or _someone_, actually.

"Hello there!" the guy said with a sleazy grin. He had three buddies behind him and I didn't like the way they were looking at me.

"**MOVE IT!**" I screeched and all four men covered their ears.

"Wow, she's got a heck of an annoying voice!" one of them yelled. I tried to make a run for it but the one I had run into grabbed my arm.

"Doesn't matter! We can gag her!" he said.

"LET GO OF ME! GET OFF! _GET OFF!_" I screamed, but it was to no avail. My beauty prevailed over my 'special' voice. Apparently Erk was wrong when a year ago he said, and I quote, "Even the most hardened criminal would flee in terror after five minutes in your company." Oh yes, that was back in the days when Erk was still so sweet to me...

"Excuse me, good sirs, but may I speak to this lady here?" said a familiar, light voice. I turned my head to see that blonde priestess from a year ago! I had thought I had seen her earlier, but I hoped it was just my imagination. Was she the reason why Erk had been so cold to me lately?

"I've got a better idea, sweetheart, why don't you join us?" one of the men said and made a grab for the woman, but she quickly drew a book from her robes and hit him with a Lightning spell, surprising me. This _girl _was already able to use light magic tomes? The men quickly released me and ran for it. I rubbed my arm where the man had been holding it so tightly. I refused to meet my rival's eyes, even if she _had_ saved me from peril.

"Sooo…. you're Lucius, right?" I said, the name suddenly coming to my mind. Maybe Erk had mentioned her strangely masculine name at some point?

"Yes. I am indeed, Sister Serra." she replied politely and I looked up to see her bow. Strange….did this girl….respect me?

"Hunh…this is the first time we've spoken." I brushed at my clothes and then finally met her eyes. They were the purest color of blue I've ever seen! "Do you know why?" I asked. The innocent girl actually thought about it before she answered!

"Um…why? No, I do not." she finally admitted. Inwardly, I began to laugh. How could I have ever felt threatened by such a timid creature? My outgoing personality surely wins more hearts then her quiet, shy one!

"I just make it a policy not to make friends with girls who are as adorable as I am. I don't need anyone else drawing attention away from me!" I explained. It might sound a little self-centered, but it was a compliment to her, right? "So stay away from me, got it? Is that all sinking in?"

"Y-yes…." Lucius replied, but she still looked a bit baffled, like something I had said had confused her. I nodded my head, smiled, and turned to leave, but then I remembered one more very important thing.

"Oh, and I forgot one thing!" I announced, turning back around. "You can't come near me, but I expect you to fully back me up as your senior cleric, all right?" I half asked, half ordered. "We serve St. Elimine, right? I mean, we're the same?" I asked and got a slow nod in response. "Well, you're much older, but you still need to follow the code!"

"Well…yes, but…" the beautiful Lucius protested, proving that she does, in fact, have a backbone.

"What? Do you have some complaint?" I demanded, and she shook her head no.

"No, no complaints….it's just….I'm…." she stumbled and stuttered and took a decade and three quarters to just spit it out and I grew REALLY ANNOYED. Patience has never been a strong point of mine.

"Why do you have to be so horribly annoying? Just tell me, already!" I snapped.

"I'm not a cleric. I'm a monk, so…..so…."

"A m-monk?" was all I could manage to stammer out. This woman was taking tomboy to a new level! Not only did she have a male name, she was in a male profession? "But….to be a monk, don't you have to…be a…well, a guy?" I asked incredulously, thinking that for sure this girl was lying.

"Yes. Yes, you do." she said so very surely. I stared at her. The realization was somewhere deep in my mind and had begun clawing its way to the surface. I thought of her name, her occupation, her odd reactions to some things I said, and with each thought the realization grew closer to becoming a revelation. Then, finally…

"**OHMIGOSH! **I AM _SO SORRY_!"

-: ERK'S POV :-

I was making my way down a hallway in Caelin castle in a peculiar fashion. By bracing myself with a hand on the wall, and only taking a few steps every five minutes, I could actually walk! Although it would be awhile before I made it to my room. When I had woken up, everyone from my group had left the tavern and the only people around were a few rough looking men who I'd rather not hang out with. The tavern owner very nicely pointed out that I should probably go on home and "_if ya throw up in muh place, I'll wring yer neck like the little purty boy ya are!_" I managed to make my way out of the building and down the street, all the way to the castle. But as soon as I hit the doors (and I do mean hit, I stumbled and fell right into them), it felt like something busted in my brain and I was sent tumbling over. Pulling myself to my feet using the very handy bushes nearby, I opened the door and began my long journey. Unfortunately, there were some obstacles. Forgotten weapons, lost tomes, passed-out drunks, and the rubble from the day's battle littered the floor. But despite the death-defying odds and the excruciatingly difficult act of walking I had made it all the way to three doors from my door……only to run into someone.

"Hello, might you know the way to the lavatories?" this guy asked. He had long, black hair that was tied back in a braid. He looked to be Sacaen. I put my free hand up to my head.

"Trust me, I wish I knew." I answered, suddenly realizing that sleep wasn't the only thing I was overdue for. The man startled me by sticking out his hand.

"Forgive my rudeness……I am Guy, and you are Erk, aren't you?" he asked. I shook his hand, glad that _someone_ in this army had manners.

"…Guy? My, your parents were quite the creative ones, weren't they?" I joked but he must have missed it because he launched into an explanation.

"No, no! It's pronounced Gee like geese! Its origins are from France, part of Tactician Arianna's world." he lectured to my complete lack of interest.

(A/N: It's true! Guy_ is_ a French name and it _is_ pronounced like 'gee' in geese.)

"Okay, Guy." was my reply, purposely saying it like 'Gee, that's nice.' He just gave a loud sigh. I felt a strange feeling of bonding to this "Guy" who sighs like me.

"Never mind…just call me whatever you like." he said.

"Right, Fred. So, could you help a poor mage to his room?" I asked in what I hoped was a friendly and polite voice.

"Nope, I'm busy." Guy said and continued on his way. So much for bonding. I steadied myself to begin "walking" again, but before I got two steps I ran into yet another night walker, this one much more familiar to me.

"Lady Priscilla, can't you sleep?" I asked, startled to find the lady wandering the halls at this hour. It was unsafe! Not to mention what lack of sleep can do to your skin! Er, not that I would know about those sort of things…

"I grew worried when you never came to check on me before going to bed, so I was trying to find you." she explained. I was touched. Truly. Finally, someone who cared about my well being!

"Thank you, mi'lady. I'm sorry I worried you. I sort of…well….I passed out in the tavern." I said, figuring that the truth couldn't hurt that much. "I'm fine now, please get your rest."

"Do you need help getting to your room?" the sweet creature said and offered her arm, and just as I was about to take it and thank her profusely, two voices echoed down the hallway in unison, coming from both directions.

"Well, aren't you two the cute couple?" came Serra's voice, sounding sickly sweet and rather annoyed. She stepped forward looking rather flushed in the face.

"**WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH PRISCILLA?" **came the other voice at a roar that shook the castle on its foundation. And, like a scene from a horror novel, Raven stepped out of the shadows with the fury of a thousand demons glowing in his eyes.

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Arianna: HOORAY! I finished something!

Latisha: Good, now hurry and end this before pigs freeze over.

Arianna: Uh, I think you've got your sayings a little mixed up there….

Eliwood: Hell can fly!

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**Q&A**

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:timmycheese: What's your brother's name and why are they eating the poisoned pizza?

Canas: Which brother? And the pizza isn't _really_ poisoned….we hope.

:Inferno-Hero: WHAT DO YAH MEAN BY NOVACAIN TESTER?

Canas: Well, it sounds like a dangerous occupation….and….oh, I give up.

:Evergladelord:

Canas: No, I believe that tomatoes are completely harmless.

Erk: Tell that to Erick.

Erick: They're coming for me! I can _sense_ it!

:Chaos Knight Malik: How do I know this?

Canas: I don't know but you seem to be a lot smarter than me….want a job? All you have to do is answer pointless questions! It pays-

Latisha: -WHACK- Get back to work! And stop being ungrateful!

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**BIG THANKS TO**: Rose-Wisteria, Jefepato, timmycheese, Inferno-Hero, Evergladelord, no name, Chaos Knight Malik, ThuhGamefreak, RWT, Min the Noodle, and all readers!

**NOTE:** After the story is over I will go back and revise it, cleaning up all errors, so until then please try to look over them!

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Arianna: Am I free to go?

Latisha: For now….

Arianna: Yay, off to new, exciting, air-conditioned places!

(This room is really stuffy….)

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	11. Chapter Ten: Arena Fighting is Fun!

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Eliwood: Arena fighting is fun! If you're not Erk……

Arianna: Not too long ago, I had to help a friend get her shirt off.

The Guys: WOAH.

Latisha: Not like that, people!

Arianna: We were getting ready to go swimming and she had her suit on under her clothes and she couldn't get her shirt off because it was too tight. I just want to say that if you can't get the shirt off, YOU SHOULDN'T BE WEARING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Okay, now I'm gonna jump off my box and start the story.

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**DISCLAIMER:** We the people, of the world of Arianna, hereby hold this truth to be self-evident. We don't own 'Fire Emblem.' Or a history textbook. So don't sue us if we happened to take a few words from a famous document to write this disclaimer. We weren't aware of it, we swear.

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_Love me, love me! Say that you love me. Fool me, fool me. Go on and fool me. Love me, love me! Pretend that you love me. Leave me, leave me. Just say that you need me!_

_"Lovefool" by The Cardigans_

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-: ERK'S POV :-

(A/N: My arm just started twitching for no reason…..is that normal?)

"WHY?"

Thunk.

"WHY?"

Thunk.

"_WHY?_"

Thunk.

That's the sound of me banging my head repeatedly on a tree. Not good for my head, and probably not good for the tree, but I had high hopes of knocking myself out so I could evade what I faced the next day.

-

_"**WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH PRISCILLA?" **Raven yelled, suddenly stepping out of the shadows and startling Priscilla and myself so badly that her ladyship quickly withdrew all the support she had been lending my poor, drunken body and I fell right on the floor. Funny how every time I encounter Raven, I wind up on the ground. _

_"Lord Brother!" she cried, "I was just helping Mage Erk to his room! You see, he had been drinking-"_

_"WHAT KIND OF ESCORT ARE YOU, GETTING DRUNK WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING WATCH OVER YOUR CLIENT!" he yelled. I climbed to my feet, and although I wobbled a bit, I stayed up. _

_(A/N: Can you wobble like a weeble?)_

_"Calm down!" Serra screeched, although I'm not sure if it was to defend me or to defend her title as the loudest person in the group, since Raven was proving to have quite a loud yell. Either way, she failed, for he only became angrier and thus, yelled louder. He grabbed me by the front of my shirt, and as my feet left the ground I became keenly aware of the fact that I am not the tallest man there ever was, oh no I am not._

_"I SEE THROUGH YOUR ACT, MAGE! YOU'RE JUST POSING AS THE NOBLE ESCORT TO GET CLOSE TO PRISCILLA! IT ENDS HERE!" he shouted, right into my face, and if I was able to speak at that moment I probably would have made some smarmy comment about mints and bad breath, but thankfully, I could not. I was too busy being a pathetic mage who's about to get punched but can't do anything about it. But just as Raven raised his fist, salvation came in the form of a big, angry, lord wearing magenta nightclothes (which he would later swear were red, but I promise you, were not). _

_"What's going on out here?" Lord Hector shouted, storming into our little scenario. He looked about as happy as a drunk who had finally passed out to quickly be reawakened by cantankerous rough-housers. In other words, he looked like I did when I woke up at the tavern. GRUMPY._

_"Do not interfere in my affairs, Lord of __Ostia__!" Raven snapped, dropping me and turning his burning gaze to Hector. I crawled my way to the wall, not caring how foolish I looked in doing so. It was now Angry Hector against Angry Raven, and I wasn't sure which was worse. But I am now, for I gave it some thought, and I have realized that Raven is much, much worse. Why? Because he kills people he's mad at, and Lord Hector doesn't. Usually._

_"Well, I wouldn't have to if they weren't waking me up in the middle of the night!" was Hector's reply, walking up to Raven to look him straight in the eyes. Hector proved to be a mite taller than His Lordly Angriness, giving him a bit of an advantage in this war of words and glares. Hard to stare someone down when you have to look up at them, after all. They just stood there for a long, tense moment, and finally Raven reluctantly broke away first._

_"I apologize for disturbing you." he said, his voice considerably lowered. "I have matters to settle with this mage." At 'this' he pointed at me, ruining any dreams I had of having been forgotten. "I'll finish with him outside."_

_"I have a better idea." Hector said, and I looked at him with hope, thinking he was about to save me from certain death. "Why don't you settle this tomorrow in the arena? We're heading for the docks and there's an arena near there." Hector suggested and I almost passed out right then and there. This was way too much stress in one night for me. Raven nodded and walked over to me, actually extending a hand and pulling me to my feet._

_"Alright. I challenge you, Sir Erk, to a battle in the arena at the __port__ of __Badon.__" he said and shook my hand, forcing me to accept. I just stared in horror._

_"But….I…eh…" I tried to protest, but for once I was at a loss for words. Raven released my hand and walked back to whatever dark corner he had crawled out from, not saying another word to anyone still standing at the scene. _

_"I….I'll be going back to my room, now." Priscilla said, and as she left her face looked a little pale in the bad lighting of the hall. Hector left too, leaving just me and Serra._

_"Well," she chirped, way too cheerful about the situation I was in, "You're pretty messed over now, aren't you, Erky?" I fell to my knees, hands clutching at my head, and let loose a roar of frustration that was bound to have awoken anyone who had managed to sleep through everything else._

---

Thunk.

I hit my head one last time before sliding to the ground, resting my throbbing head against the cool bark of the tree. We had arrived late into Badon and had to immediately look for lodging, so I was spared one more day before my inevitable doom.

"That can't be good for your hangover, ya know." said a voice I was coming to find comfort in, yet loathe at the same time. I closed my eyes for a moment before flipping around to face Serra. My back rested against the tree trunk, and I had my legs curled up close to my body, with my arms flopping lazily to my sides.

"I am not hungover." I replied, but even as I said it my head gave an angry throb. Serra waggled a finger at me, if 'waggle' is even a word. Kind of a silly word if it is one.

"That's what I tried to tell the head cleric the morning after my birthday party last year, but you know what she said? She preached to me about how alcohol is bad and it's wrong for a person of Elimine to get drunk! But I hadn't gotten drunk! Well….I did take a few sips…but that was only because the other clerics in the convent had bought a lot of wine for my party, and I would have felt bad not drinking any of it! So, I was actually doing a good thing, see? And anyways, I never got drunk! I was perfectly _un_-drunk when Bethany dared me to take my clothes off and run into Ostian castle! I just did it because it was a dare! We were playing truth or _dare_! How could I refuse to do a dare at my own party? So, anyway, when I ran into the castle the first people I ran into were Lord Hector and Matthew……" Serra told this whole story with much gesturing. I just watched and carefully tried to determine when would be the best time to interrupt her before I heard more than I would ever want to hear about Serra. That very important time was now.

"Serra, shouldn't you be getting back to the inn?" I said, and Serra stopped her rambling mid-story.

"Why? And if I should, shouldn't you, too?" she asked, making a good point (for her), but I had my reasons not to return that night.

"No thank you, I'd rather not die until at least tomorrow." I replied. Serra tilted her head, observing me for a moment, and then she sat down beside me. A bit too close for my tastes, actually, but I didn't move away.

"You're not gonna lose to him. You're not gonna die tomorrow." she said, as much to herself it sounded like as to me. She said it in a surprisingly soft tone of voice.

"Thank you for your support, but I've had my math classes and I believe that mage plus mercenary equals dead mage." I said, dryly. I started thinking of things I needed to get done before I died. Do I have a will? Do I even need one? Most of the things I referred to as 'mine' were actually Lord Pent's. Which made me think, how would Lord Pent and Lady Louise react to news of my death? Would Lord Pent be disappointed that I could not hold my own against a sword user, despite all that he had taught me? Maybe-

"You're going to win." Serra's voice said firmly, breaking me from my dreary thoughts. I turned my head to look at her and was startled to see that her face was very close to mine. Her eyes were burning with a mix of excitement and determination that I do not believe I had ever seen in her. "We'll even the odds. I'll help you win!" she declared, grinning like a madwoman. I scooted myself a ways back from her.

"Er, that's quite alright, Serra…..no thanks." I said. I could not envision any way that Serra could help me. Only ways she could impair me, embarrass me, and, to use her word from the night before, "mess" me over. She crawled over to me so she was back in my face, and then she sat up so that she was sitting on her feet and ankles. She put a fist up by her heart, which she must have thought made her look fierce. It's rather hard to look fierce, though, when you have pink hair. Instead it made her look, I'm reluctant to admit, _cute_.

"Trust me! I've got a plan! We can beat him, Erk!" she said. And sitting there with her face right in mine, looking into her eyes that were lit up with emotion, aware of her optimistic smile, how could I say no? I agreed to let her help me.

-----------

_-_

The next morning, I made my way to the arena alone. I didn't want anyone with me if I suffered a breakdown on the way there. Which was completely possible seeing as even though Serra had sworn to help me, I was convinced I was going to die. Even though it was early in the day, the sun was already on full-blast. The heat would help the cremation of my dead body along nicely. I wiped at my face and my palm was covered in sweat. There are disadvantages to being a mage. All the clothing can get quite stuffy. I could only hope that we would never have to trek through any desert areas……assuming I lived, anyways. The Lords and the Lady were not going to be at my battle with Raven. They were looking for a ship to take us to the Island of Valor. But the rest of the small army….would surely be there…..

"Hello! Hello, Erk!" I heard someone calling to me. I stopped staring at the sun and looked around. It's probably not too good to stare at the sun for long periods of time anyhow. Once the little colored spots stopped hindering my vision, I realized there was a Guy in front of me. Yes, a Guy. _The_ Guy.

"Hello, Fred." I greeted him, sticking to my little joke from the night before. Now that we were in the light I could see that his hair was not black, but a dark green, like Lady Lyn's and, gag me, Rath's.

(A/N: HA! How do ya like that save?)

"It's not Fred, it's-oh, never mind. I wanted to apologize for last night. It wasn't very kind of me to leave you stranded like that! Sacaens usually try to be-hey! You have purple hair! I couldn't tell with how dark the hall was last night." he said energetically (that last part he said was a dreadful RDOO) not seeming to be slowed at all by the intense sun. I wondered for a moment if all Sacaens are so unaffected by high temperatures. It must come with spending so much time on wide, open plains.

"You're a mellow one. Yes, my hair is purple." I confirmed with a little amusement. "And don't worry, it's al-"

I stopped. I thought back.

Since Guy hadn't helped me when I asked, I had to continue alone on my way down the hall. And since I continued, I ran into Priscilla. And since Priscilla is kind, she helped me. And since she was helping me, Raven-

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" I suddenly shouted, realization striking like-like-like a big, striking thing. Guy stepped back in surprise.

"Um, I said I was sorry." he said, nervously. Like I would let him off that easily!

"IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST HELPED ME I WOULDN'T- " I began ranting, but was cut off when he put a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Hm! I apologized, and I would really not like to fight about this……but, if you are really so angry…" he said, drawing his sword a little ways out. He looked hesitant, like he wouldn't _really_ use his sword on me, but I decided not to chance it.

"Oh, forget it." I snapped, and swooshed right by him. Yes, _swooshed_. It's a dramatic cape movement that Pent taught me when I first started training to become a mage. All mages wear capes so that when they need to walk somewhere while showing emotion, they can flip their cape out so it makes a swooshing noise, thus making their movement dramatic and striking. "I don't need _two_ swordsmen out for my blood." I finished. Guy waited a moment, than jogged up to walk with me.

"What do you mean another?" he asked, actually sounding concerned.

"I'm fighting a mad man in the arena today. He challenged me after he found Lady Priscilla with me in the corridor. He assumed things, but really she was just _helping me to my room._" I explained, stressing the last part and then looking at Guy's face. I got my desired effect. Guy thought for a bit, then-

"O-oh…" he said, guiltily. He hung his head. And ran into a wall. That's what happens when you put your head down and don't watch where you're going. So take a lesson home from Guy's little mistake, kiddies, and don't not watch where you're going. "Ow…." he grumbled, whether from his collision with the wall or my extremely bad grammar in my previous sentence of thought, I'm not sure. I looked at the wall and then upward to where there was a large sign that filled me with dread. The sign said 'ARENA' in big, threatening letters. I had arrived at my destination of death. Next stop: Afterlife! Don't get your cloak caught in the automatic closing doors on the way out.

"Well, this is goodbye, Fred." I said as morbidly as I could. I think that 'Fred' at the end ruined the effect, though. I strode through the wooden doors, trying my best to look brave and sure of myself, but my body was betraying me by shaking slightly. I walked up to the desk. A rough-looking man stood behind it, glaring at me through one eye. The other one was covered by an eye patch. "Excuse me. I'm here to fight the mercenary Raven." I said, my voice, surprisingly, not faltering. He looked me over with that one, mean eye.

"Hold on." he said and began flipping through some papers. As I stood there my nerves began to act up again, so I decided to try some friendly conversation. Not my brightest idea, since this guy did not look like a friendly person, which would make it rather impossible for him to be capable of a friendly conversation.

"So….how'd you lose your eye?" I asked and pointed helpfully, incase he didn't know where his eye had been. He didn't even bother looking up as he roughly replied:

"I didn't lose it." Then he flipped up the eye patch with his left hand, his right hand still going through papers, to show a perfectly alright eye, if a little scary looking.

"Oh." was all I could think to say. What do you say to a guy about his missing eye that isn't really missing?

"Mercenary Raven versus Mage Erk, right?" he asked, finally looking back up. I only nodded for the mention of the upcoming fight sealed my throat with fear. "Your entry fee is already paid. You may enter." he said and unlatched a door behind him. I nodded again and opened the door to reveal a long, cold hallway. I walked in. The man slammed the door behind me and latched it again, giving me quite a scare. I swallowed hard and walked swiftly, wanting out of this tunnel as quickly as possible. My thoughts began to race along with my heart as I realized how close I was to the actual fight. What if the plan Serra and I had concocted failed me?

"Then I'm a dead man." I said, stopping to state this out loud to myself. It echoed through the corridor and even though it was my own voice that said it, it chilled my very bones. I began running. Despite the fact I had been purposely hurrying, the light at the end came all too soon. I slowed to a walk and straightened my back. I would walk into the arena with my head held high. Raven could not intimidate me into looking cowardly! I drew close to the door and put my hand on the handle. The handle was as cold as my hand was. With a sudden burst of courage I flung open the door and was greeted by the crowd. Screams and threats and taunts and cheers suddenly surrounded me. I forced my legs to move forward until I could see him, my opponent. Raven was standing tall, looking very at ease. He must have been in many arena battles already. I, myself, had watched a fight or three, but this would be my first time as a participant. I walked to my mark, now facing Raven. I tilted my head back and kept my eyes on his. He was glaring, and I glared right back. I wished again for the ability to cast Fire spells out of my eyes. Or Thunder spells would work, too. I'm not that picky. The referee stepped up beside us.

"Now, I want a good, dirty fight." he said, chuckling, and the crowd roared. "If you surrender, throw both arms in the air, palms out. If your opponent is rendered unconscious, you win. Otherwise, you fight to the death." I knew for certain that Raven would not surrender. "Ready?" the ref asked. I saw Raven nod.

"That guy's hair is _purple_!" I distinctly heard a voice call out in the audience. I twitched from the obviousness.

"Is that even a guy?" another voice responded and some people laughed.

"Oh, shut up! His hair is a lot more handsome then that wyvern's nest _you_ call hair!" screeched the recognizable voice of Serra. I smiled very slightly, a bit comforted by her support. I nodded my head for the ref, refusing to move my eyes even as I felt that Raven's might burn mine right out of my head with their fiery intensity. I was reminded briefly of the sun outside. Would this be the closest thing to a last glimpse of it I would ever see?

"BEGIN!" the ref yelled and ran off to the sidelines. The crowd bellowed out again, but my ears were already starting to tune them out until they were a low buzz in the back of my head. Raven and I stalked each other around in a circle, waiting. We both knew that in order for me to get a hit in I would have to back away from him far enough to have time to cast a spell. He was waiting for the moment that I would turn and run to pounce on me with that dooming blade of his. Little did he know….

"HE'S CHARGING HIM!" someone yelled out in shock as I ran as fast as my legs could carry me right at the intimidating swordsman. Most people say that at moments like that everything slows down. Well, like Lowen's hellish onion bagels it does! Everything was moving with such a blurring speed that I almost missed my one opportunity to get an upper hand. I saw the look of arrogance Raven gave me, and heard the berating of the crowd. For one moment I greatly feared I had been abandoned. But then I heard her. Oh, that beautiful voice of my angel of salvation!

"**EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!**" screamed Serra at the highest octave of her high-pitched voice. I felt the room resonate and recoil at the piercing sound. But I had been prepared, not to mention rather immune to her screams by now, and I didn't even flinch. And in one blessed moment that I will forever see in my memory for the rest of my life, Raven flinched and covered his ears. And I blasted right by him, ducking under his arm. I charged a few feet back, then spun around and quickly cast a Fire spell, setting the back of his shirt ablaze. He roared and shouted his most cutting curses. His hands smacked at the back of his flaming shirt to no avail. Finally, he gave in and ripped the shirt off. The women in the crowd went crazy. All this in just one, frightening, exhilarating, stunning minute. But because of that one minute, I now stood a chance at survival. When the angered, now shirtless, Raven whirled around to face me, he looked like a mad bull preparing to charge. The thought made me laugh out loud. Then I thought of how I had charged him like a bull and how a bull _would _probably charge Raven because of his red hair. I went into a fit of hysterical laughter. All the tension had to have been getting to me.

I was abruptly sane again, though, as soon as I saw that my adversary was running at me with his sword, ready to chop my pitiful purple-topped head from my body for the embarrassment I had wrought on him. I tried to run, but he was soon upon me and bringing down his blade. With the speed of a desperate man I waited until the last possible second and then jumped to the side. I believed that Elimine was with me that day, for once again did Raven fumble. His sword hit the ground where I had been standing with so much force that it cracked and pieces of it shattered, making its sharp edge become dull. I smiled conceitedly, thinking Raven was now weaponless, but he only looked at it a moment then flipped it over so that he was now holding a large, blunt object. Me, being the semi-intelligent being I am, took these precious moments to get myself to the other end of the arena. I began chanting my spell enthusiastically. The end of this was near! I could feel it! I COULD WIN THIS! I-

"The sky is blue." Raven shouted to me. I stopped my chanting.

'_Did he….just….say…?_'

"Lions and tigers and bears go RAWR!" Raven shouted, louder and more forceful than before. He might as well have punched me in the gut. I fell to my knees.

"What's wrong with him?" someone in the audience called out.

"He's obviousness intolerant. He suffers from RDOO Disorder." I heard Serra answer.

(A/N: Not an official diagnosis, and not a real disorder, as far as I know. If you believe you have this illness either contact your local psychiatrist or stop hanging around stupid people.)

"Really? Cool!" someone shouted. "There are fish in the ocean, a pegasus can fly, dogs have ears!" he said, laughing merrily as each phrase he said brought me closer to the dirt ground. Others began joining in.

"Water is wet!"

"Birds go 'tweet'!"

"Nuts taste nutty!"

The whole crowd was laughing now, enjoying my reactions to their words. I looked up from my painful position to see Raven standing over me with a sadistic glint in his eyes and a creepy grin.

"Bartre is stupid." he said, softly at first, and then repeated it loud enough to rattle the ceiling and my poor, abused brain. "**BARTRE IS STUPID!**"

It was the last thing I heard. The finishing blow.

I fainted into blackness.

-----

--

-: OUTER POV :-

Erk awoke and opened his eyes. At first, he didn't know what had happened, but then the aching in his body reminded him of the fight and the horribly devastating RDsOO. He was amazed to find himself alive and checked his body for any wounds. Besides the fading bruise from Raven's punch days before, he was fine. So he began to wonder just how exactly he escaped unscathed and fully alive from the arena battle since when he had last been among the awake he had been in a dire, and inevitably losing, situation. Looking around, a bit groggy still, he made out through the darkness some shapes of furniture. Eventually his eyes found the outline of a door with light behind it. Seeing no point in just sitting around, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up. Then he strode out the door, dreading what he might find. To his surprise, he saw his companions sitting around in what appeared to be Badon's tavern. They all looked perfectly normal.

'_Or as normal as this group gets, anyway' _he thought dryly to himself, glad to see he had not lost his odd sense of humor.

"ERK!" Serra practically screamed when she noticed the mage standing near the opening to the hallway that connected the bar and rooms of the tavern. She jumped to her feet, knocking the table she had been sitting at and spilling Matthew's drink all over him, and rushed over to him. "Ohmigosh, Erk!" she said excitedly "It was a draw! You didn't lose! Well…you didn't win, either, but you didn't die!"

"Wh-what?" he said, startled. "How did I not lose? I passed out!" he said, not realizing that that was actually a rather obvious statement he just made. I mean, Serra knew quite well that he passed out, yes? But I digress.

"Yeah, but at the same moment you passed out, Bartre got mad about the insult to his intelligence and hurled his ax at Raven! Luckily, the ax hit him sideways so he wasn't killed, (Erk 'hmmphd' at that) but it knocked him out! And since you were both unconscious at the same time, the ref declared it a draw!" Serra explained, smiling happily. Erk looked around for confirmation on this unbelievable story. Finding Raven sitting in the corner, looking just as disgruntled as Erk felt and rubbing his head where a large welt was, Erk realized that Serra spoke the truth. He felt….happy. He felt very happy, indeed! So happy that he could of kissed Bartre at that moment! Luckily for Erk, and for the less strong-stomached of us, and maybe even Bartre himself, the ax man was nowhere to be found at the time.

'_Probably the closest Bartre will ever come to getting a kiss._' Erk chuckled to himself.

(A/N: Little does he know…..)

"Well, what did I tell you, Serra? Nothing to worry about! I survived. Really, last night you were so fretful…" Erk said, walking over to join Lucius at his table with a hop in his step and a smile on his face. Serra followed, outraged.

"What? You were the one who was all '_I'm going to die! Waaaaah! Poor me!_' "Serra exclaimed, doing an actually accurate impression of Erk from the night before.

"You know, Serra, I'm not even going to argue with you today!" Erk responded, eerily cheerful. (It was only eerie because "Erk? Cheerful? C'mon!")

"Hm." Serra sniffed. "Yeah, sure. You're not going to argue with me because you know I'm right!" she said haughtily and walked back to her table with Matthew, who was being laughed at because his soaked pants made it look like he had had an 'accident'.

"Serra!" he called after her, and she glanced back. "Thank you." he said shortly, but with true feeling. For once his words were not laced with sarcasm, and Serra could hear that he truly meant it. She gave a warm smile and sat down at her table. Erk sat at his. "Hello, Lucius! How are you this lovely day?" Erk said, happily helping himself to some of Lucius' biscuits that were sitting on the table. Lucius smiled in return and was about to reply but was cut off by a grumpy voice.

"You're in my seat." Raven growled, not too thrilled to once again be talking with Erk so soon after their little feud. Erk surprised him by jumping to his feet, a smile still on his face.

"Oh, pardon me! You can have it back! You know why? Because you have a giant bump on your head and I don't! Haha!" Erk said merrily and ran out the door, grabbing a few more of Lucius' biscuits on the way. Raven stared after him a moment, contemplating giving chase and sticking his sword through the stupid mage's stupid, uninjured skull, but the lump on his head gave another painful twinge and Raven decided to just sit down.

"Hello, Lord Raymond! Feeling better?" Lucius asked, concerned. Raven just grunted and snatched the rest of Lucius' biscuits.

"Hey, Lucius!" Serra came over to his table. "Did you see where Erk went?" she asked, devouring the few, surviving biscuits. Lucius, noticing this, was overcome with one of his rare bursts of anger.

"Do I look like the muffin man?" he demanded, gesturing to his now empty plate. Serra chewed for a moment, looking thoughtful.

"Actually….these are biscuits, not muffins." she somehow stated through a mouthful of the non-muffins. Lucius closed his eyes with a pained look. Defeated, he pointed wearily in the direction Erk had gone. "Thanks!" Serra chirped, dashing after the mage, leaving Lucius to stare mournfully at his once occupied plate.

--

-----

"_What _is going on?"

Outside the tavern, Erk had stumbled onto the odd scene of a burly pirate taunting the young lords.

"We're going to play tag with these pirates." Eliwood answered Erk. "If we can get to the leader of the pirates, who is over by the docks, then they will give us free passage to the Dread Isle." He explained all this as if it were as common a thing as going to the market to pick up some fresh milk. Erk stared at him for a moment, but then the last of Eliwood's words registered in his mind.

"_Dread_ Isle? Weren't we going to the Island of Valor?" Erk may not be a vocabulary whiz, but he was dead certain that 'Valor' and 'Dread' did not have even a slightly similar meaning.

"It's Valor's nickname." Hector said. Erk quirked an eyebrow.

"Cute." he remarked sarcastically. "So I'm guessing that if we have to beg a free trip off of some pirates, this island we're going to is not the locals' favorite vacation spot?" Hector just smirked and, infuriatingly enough, patted Erk on the head.

"Don't worry, Erky boy, we're tough enough to survive." he said. Erk winced at the degrading nickname, wondering how Lord Hector had come to learn his name in the first place. Then, with a sinking feeling of dread, he remembered Sain's talk with Hector about Serra's little "rumor".

_"__Guess what that mage down there was saying about you and Serra?" _

The Green Knight's words to Lord Hector echoed in his mind and made him grimace from a mix of embarrassment and anger. Hector, noticing the look on Erk's face, realized he must have remembered that Sain had told him all about Erk's misled concerns. He strode off, but not before saying: "Oh, and Erk, if I ever do get married, you're not invited to the wedding." Erk huffed. He figured he would be able to survive the severe emotional pain of not being invited to Lord Hector's wedding. But he silently swore to himself to enact some sort of revenge on Sain before this little escapade was through.

"Erk!"

He looked up to see Serra running towards him. Behind her the rest of the group was beginning to emerge from the tavern and prepare themselves for this strange game of tag and war. The tactician was already speaking her ideas to Lord Eliwood, and Lord Hector soon joined them with the recently retrieved Lady Lyn.

"Serra-" Erk said as the cleric drew near, "I have a bad, BAD feeling about this."

"It'll be fun!" Serra said, smiling maddeningly. Erk checked his list of things that are fun and verified that playing children games withviolent pirates that are locowas not on it. It was not even on the list of things that are mildly fun but can quickly become boring. Scrolling down through his mental lists he finally found it to be on the list of things that are highly dangerous and are usually only attempted by people who are slightly touched in the head and have been watching too many reruns of 'Viva La Bam'. Not that Erk would have any idea what 'Viva La Bam' is, let alonewhat a'rerun' might be, but if they did have such a thing in Elibe that would be the kind of people to play this game they were about to partake in.

"Oh, yes…..tons of fun…" Erk muttered.

--

------

-: ERK'S POV :-

Arianna, being the compassionate towards physically weak magestactician that she is, had sent me with the small group that had to bust their way right through the very center of the pirate platoon. I'm not sure if that's proper usage of the word platoon, but pirate platoon has a catchy sound to it. Having battled many a brawny, brainless, big-headed pirate to get to my current position near the arena, I was not intimidated in the least bit by the man in front of me. He was the pirate from earlier who I had heard making jabs from afar at the lords. He wore a bandana around his head like most of the other pirates, only his was a different color. Having, as I said, fought so many pirates, I was far past tired of the stupid battle phrases and threats they uttered and ready for this all to be over. And so, this unfortunate pirate before me became the target of one of my occasional rants.

"Sir Pirate, I have struck down many of your mates, and I am not afraid of you. You may think you are a big, tough man, you may very well be a big, tough man, but to me you are nothing more than another ape-faced brute who has dared to get in my way. I will now defeat you with the power of my Anima magic, showing you that strength of body does not necessarily ensure victory. Any last words?"

"Yeah. The Captain is over there." the pirate said, pointing helpfully to where, sure enough, a man was standing by the docks who looked just rugged enough and just crazy enough and just old enough to be this band of brutes' captain.

"Right. Thanks…" I said lamely, the fire I had had from my enthusiastic speech now a mere pile of dimming ashes.

"You're welcome, barnacle brain." the pirate responded, returning to his post. To be fair, he did not say 'barnacle brain', but the peculiar pirate lingo that he used was not the most sensitive of words and so I shall not be repeating it and jeopardizing the rating of this story. I went quickly towards the captain, ready to end this little game. However, before I had made it close enough to speak to the man, a voice called out behind me.

"O-oh! Look out!" said the voice, and I turned to see a man on horseback charging at me with a large spear that he no doubt intended to skewer me on like a piece of overcooked beef.

"You're about to die. Scream if you must." the spear-equipped man said to me in a short and smooth way. Watching my death charging towards me, I froze to my spot. My eyes spun out of control, and when my gaze had finally resettled itself it rested on the arena. Instantly, my courage was renewed. I had faced Raven! I had faced pirates! This new foe was **nothing!**

………..nothing but a person carrying a big, scary spear and quickly rushing towards me on a horse. Eep. Nevertheless, I fought back. I dove out of the way and the man had to yank roughly on the reins and bring the horse back around for another shot at 'pin the spear through the mage'. Just when the man was upon me again, a big, black hole opened up and sucked the man in—horse and all. I stood gaping. Was it normal for black holes to randomly rip open and pull people into their dark, endless abysses?

"Are you alright?" said a well-educated sounding voice. It was the same voice from earlier that had called out the warning to me. I turned around to see a man in shaman clothing. He had a monocle and……and….

"Err…is there something in my hair?" the man said, running a hand through it nervously.

"You-! YOU HAVE PURPLE HAIR!" I yelled, not caring how loud I was. Oh, the joyful feeling of discovering you are not alone in this world! Granted, Florina had purple hair as well, but she was a girl! This was a man who stood before me with glorious, wonderful, beautiful hair of purple! I grabbed at his hair to make sure it was real.

"W-what's the matter?" the man said, pulling my hand away from his head. He seemed alarmed to have a complete stranger touching his hair. I let go and grabbed onto my own hair, lifting up a lock of it for him to see.

"Look! Purple! My hair is purple as well!" I cried out happily. The man was now looking at me like I was a lunatic and probably thinking that he should have sent _me_ into the swirling pit of hellish blackness as well.

"Yes….so it is…." he said, taking a few tentative steps back from me.

"I can see we will be great friends." I warmly said, but for some reason, this made him retreat further.

"Righto. Well, I must be going." hemumbled and quickly ran the opposite direction from me.

"Wait! What is your name?" I yelled after him.

"Canas!" he called back, not even slowing his pace a notch. I realized I might have just scared the hell out of this Canas, but how happy I was to find another man with purple hair! If only I had known at that time that soon I was to meet some other purple-haired men with less friendly dispositions….

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-: SERRA'S POV :-

"I'm bored!" I complained out loud for the umpteenth time, knowing well that it was grating on every one of Lord Hector's (and probably everyone else's) nerves. If I didn't know that it annoyed people, why would I have even bothered complaining?It's only fun to complain when there's someone around to hear it!"Can't we take a break? Why'd we have to take the long way around?" I whined in my whiniest voice.

"Serra, if you do not shut that never-closing hole in your face that you call a mouth, I will shut it for you in the most painful way I can think of." Lord Hector threatened, his last nerve just having been snapped like an old guitar string.

"And what way would that be?" I asked sweetly. But before Lord Hector could attack me, we came to the docks at long last. "Yay!" I cheered and ran ahead of the others. I found the other half of our group that had been sent through the middle. They were standing by Captain Fargus looking a bit roughed up. And while their faces showed disgruntlement, it was nothing compared to the people who had been in my group.

"It was horrible, Lord Raymond, horrible!" Lucius was moaning to Raven. "She just kept whining and complaining and complaining and whining and I got the most horrible, violent thoughts! But then I felt unclean and feared Elimine becoming angry so I had to resist acting on those thoughts! But then she whined again and-"

"Quiet, Lucius." Raven interrupted. "Be grateful you didn't have to fight any pirates."

"But her voice! Her complaints! They were surely worse then any pirate!" Lucius insisted. I stuck my tongue out at him in response to the insult. Glancing around, I spotted Erk talking rapidly to a scholar looking man with purple hair. Erk seemed quite enthused for once, while the other man looked to be merely tolerating whatever Erk was saying. I wondered what was making Erk so happy to be talking to this guy. Maybe if I learned the secret, Erk would be happy to talk to me? Not that I care, of course, if Erk wants to chat with me. It would just be nice to have a pleasant conversation with Erk, for once….

"Get on board my ship, lads and lasses!" the pirate captain ordered.

"Ship!" Guy repeated, seemingly distraught by this for some reason.

"Like, duh!" I said condescendingly to him, "How else would we be getting to an _island_?" Guy was now holding his head while shaking it. As we began walking up the boarding plank, Guy looked very miserable.

"What's so bad about a boat, Guy?" Lyn asked, concerned by his sad state.

"I get seasick…" he admitted and the whole army seemed to groan in unison.

I saw Erk wisely cover himself with vomit protection wear—-his cape.

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Erk: Wow! A chapter that ends with no cliffhangers or loud shouting!

Arianna: Hello, folks. I need to make this short because I really ought to be in bed right now. Ya see, tomorrow we, as in my family and I, are leaving for our annual beach trip.

Ivan: Um….then shouldn't you be packing?

Arianna! –dashes off-

Latisha: Well, Canas time!

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**Q&A**

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:Chaos Knight Malik: So, is Raven going to punch Erk in the same spot for heavy bruises, or a classy blanket of bruises? Also, is Priscilla going to wind up with Guy, Heath, or are you gonna pull a fast one on us, change the genre to tragedy or angst and make this fic an Erk+Priscilla and Serra+Lucius?

Canas: Wel…. –lifts up Erk's shirt-

Erk: HEY!

Eliwood: Well…you did molest his hair…

Erk: I did not _molest_…

Canas: Looks like Erk only has the one bruise. And Arianna commented that the chances of this becoming an angst story are comparable to the chances of her ever enjoying band camp, but the idea is an interesting one.

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**BIG THANKS TO**: Lemurian-Girl, Aeros Fujita, Timmycheese, MiSs JoVaNNa, Inferno-Hero, SacredBlade, Chaos Knight Malik, Redwyrm, RWT, Rose-Wisteria, ThyCrimsonPirate, and all readers!

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Arianna: -from inside a whirlwind of clothing and suitcases- Bye!

Erk: Au revoir.

Ivan: Sayonara.

Eliwood: BYEBYE!

All: …..

Eliwood: ….hm?

Arianna: See you in some other portal of the world-wide web!

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